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  #101  
Old 07-15-2010, 12:36 PM
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My mom was very open and honest about how she had not done any of that when she was young. She told me she drank on occasion (so did I), and waited until she was engaged to have sex. It was always 'I never did it so you have no excuse!' It actually worked pretty well.

Now my dad on the other hand just doesn't talk about his teenage years, LOL.
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  #102  
Old 07-15-2010, 12:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ACooper View Post
For you not ever having/raising kids Renee, we sure have the same parenting style
It's not that hard to figure out . . . I just remember everything my parents did -- and come up with pretty much the opposite
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  #103  
Old 07-15-2010, 12:45 PM
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Originally Posted by ACooper View Post
Oh, and that's another area here at our house. Screw up and compound it by lying? Ya.......you don't get a say in the punishment, you forfeited your say with the lies.

Screw up and come clean the first time around? Yep, you get off much lighter and have a say in the discussion.

Once you've lied about the subject, I really don't want to hear anything else from you on the matter......thankyouverymuch. My kids know this, so when they choose to lie, they KNOW what they are walking into
Same here. Thats why it is soooooooo frustrating to have one that lies. Especially when we KNOW he is lying from the second it comes out of his mouth.

Like for example he got in trouble at school, hit a girl, ok complete grounding for 2 days. And ANY referall (sp?) is 2 days no matter what. and just a bad report for the day is that night. Well his teacher TOLD him she called us and called me and told me what happened and what to expect in his folder. He still came home and hid it. That 2 day punishment turned into a 4 day punishment 2 for the action and 2 for the lying. Knowing that when he lies the punishment is double

Its like WHY didnt you tell the truth it would have been a lighter punishment then it was because we also do the early ending for good behavior if its over the top behavior. Like the next day he gets a AMAZING report from his teacher and handles his punishment with grace that day, thats one less day.
But if you lie there is no shortening of punishments.
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  #104  
Old 07-15-2010, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkchild16 View Post
Its like WHY didnt you tell the truth it would have been a lighter punishment then it was
I have no clue why they do that when they KNOW from past experiences

Corey (the 13 year old) got into trouble last year on the bus. He was in a fight with another boy. He swore up and down the other boy punched him first and he was just defending himself! He swore this to the principal, to the bus driver, as well as us.

Enter the BUS VIDEO! Corey most definitely started it, we watched! Once he got wind there was actual video he couldn't confess the truth fast enough..........too late buddy boy, too late.
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  #105  
Old 07-15-2010, 12:51 PM
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I know why he does it but it still baffles me that its never worked for him whydo it? But hes following from example (no not anyone in this house LOL).
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  #106  
Old 07-15-2010, 01:53 PM
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OH is Hyia ever going to read these last few posts.
"Hyia...I am going to go check on that package of twizzlers. If you had any it's time to tell me now"
" I didn't Nana"
"Last chance, if you ate them you should tell me now"
"well, I had two".
uhhuh..more like half the package.

It baffles my mind. Just confess and you would only have one problem lie and you have two. I have explained that to her over and over and over again.

My son got that way early and would tell me stuff I would have never known about, and for the most part wish I never knew even now.
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  #107  
Old 07-15-2010, 02:58 PM
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Small children often don't really understand how other people's minds work yet . . . first they think everyone knows exactly what they know (thus, you already know what they did) . . . then they figure out the concept of people knowing what you tell them about . . .and then that you can trick people by telling them what isn't true . . . it often takes another step for them to realize that people can hear what they are being told and yet know that it is not true. Also, they tend to tell people what they think that person wants to hear. At least that's what I've read about development.

Older kids are a different story.
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  #108  
Old 07-15-2010, 03:07 PM
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My sister used to lie about pudding as a kid.

My mom would tell her she could have one as a snack, so she'd grab one and gobble it up REALLY fast. Then she'd go back to the pantry and grab a second one and eat it slowly.

When confronted, she would lie and say she only had one... even though the evidence would be in the trash. Kids
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  #109  
Old 07-15-2010, 05:55 PM
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Idon't know... but lying is not a LEARNED behaviour. At least not one learned by watching other people. It's something we are just born with the ability to do even though we might not realize it until later.

You can take a kid that has NEVER seen a person lie as far as they know but they'll still possess the ability to lie and may exercise it leaving you wondering where they learned it from.
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  #110  
Old 07-15-2010, 06:02 PM
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The worst for all of us was lying about a bad grade and changing it on the paper...

I know I did it. Emily did it. And Josie did it too. All about 5th/6th grade.

The only difference was to this day I was the only one that never got caught. I don't know what that says about me.
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