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Old 11-17-2009, 10:25 PM
mrose_s's Avatar
mrose_s mrose_s is offline
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: QLD, Australia
Posts: 12,169
Default Am I too strict with him?

My dad keeps making hints at me like I'm too restrictive with what I let Buster do.
He tries to say it in a nice way but its like he thinks I'm not doing right by Buster.

Example. Sorry, I won't let Buster go out of sight when out walking to chase rabbits. Yes, he'd love it but I don't want to be kicking myself when he runs in front of a truck or gets into a paddock and starts attacking lambs or runs into a dog and suddenly we've got a brawl going on because I had my dog offleash. He just doesn't get it.

I also don't allow Buster to run up and down the street chasing rabbits, its a dead end street and very quiet but I know it only takes a second and everything could go bad and I just don't want him thinking its okay to shoot out of the yard and chase stuff. I want it enforced that not one foot goes over that fenceline until I say so.

He knows I'm taking him to a behaviourist in a few months and keeps telling me "he's halfway through his life, I don't know if you need to spend hundreds of dollars on a trainer, he's a good dog"
Yes... he's a fantastic dog, he's got very few bad habits but he's still got a lot of life left in him and there are a lot more things I could do with him if I got help. Plus he's so interesting. I just know there is so much going on in his head, he thinks so much and lives in his own head a lot, he's so damaged I'd love to know what someone can tell me about him.

Buster is an extremley tense dog, he's relaxed a lot in the last few years but he is still so tense when you take him out of the yard. I think my dad (and others) seem to think its because I enforce rules and training with him that I've made him like this or something. Actually, all the rules and training provided stability and direction in his life and he's 1000 times better than he was 4 years ago when nothing was consistent, rules kept changing and he could never get it right.
He used to not be able to eat at all if you were standing in his general vicinity, he couldn't take a treat from me when out on a walk, you couldn't touch his back end while he was lying down without him getting up and running away.

Its just annoying when I put most of my time and energy into Buster or learning about dogs in general and my fathers lecturing with a total experience of one pet dog when he was 17 and not liking animals enough to pursue it any further for the next 40 years of his life.

I don't think I'm being too strict with Buster, we play a lot, I let him offleash where I can but I don't want him harassing other animals or getting himself hurt, I want him to be able to relax in public, we do a lot of training but he enjoys it (so many people think I'm just annoying him - HE NEEDS TO USE HIS HEAD!)

Does anyone else get this from people?
Its not just my dad, its most of my family.

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Old 11-17-2009, 10:32 PM
Brattina88 Brattina88 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: OH
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I think its prevention!! I don't want to see a post of him getting in an accident because he went out of sight I don't let Maddie do that either!!!

Of course, I don't know him like you know him, but I'd bet he'd be happier if he learned to relax more and be okay with all those things you listed. I hate to say it, but sometimes only "dog people" get it!

Maddie CGC .:. Cocker Spaniel .:. 13 y/o
Bailey CGC .:. Shetland Sheepdog .:. 6 y/o
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Old 11-17-2009, 10:52 PM
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bubbatd bubbatd is offline
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Only we know our dogs . We never want to say " I wish I hadn't ".....I live on a very quiet street and Ollie is with me a lot without a leash . Still I know that a rabbit or squirrel could send him into danger . If he does cross the street , I stand in the middle until he's " home " side . He now associates sticking to me and his yard means a good dog cookie when we go in . Doesn't help his weight , but sure helps my sanity !
A light for all who are crossing dark times.
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Old 11-17-2009, 11:35 PM
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Southpaw Southpaw is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Minnesota
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Story of my life! Why do I make her sit before walking out a door, why don't I want her jumping on the couch, why won't I let her play bite (if she had a soft mouth I wouldn't care, but my family has dropped the ball on helping me teach that), etc. etc.

Everything I do gets questioned. When I wanted to take her to puppy classes I got greeted with "why? What's the point? We can train her." Tried to explain that it was solely for socialization purposes and it still didn't matter (even though the vet recommended them as well). We were able to socialize without them but still, I think they still would have been beneficial. I'm going to sign her up for obedience classes soon and everyone still thinks it's a waste of money, I can do it on my own, blah blah blah.... I don't understand why they view this as negative?!

we do a lot of training but he enjoys it (so many people think I'm just annoying him - HE NEEDS TO USE HIS HEAD!)
Haha this too! When I was teaching Juno shake, high-five, and bow, my parents were like "that's great, now why don't you teach her something useful." You're right, there's no reason why she needs to know how to give me a high-five, but it's certainly not hurting her if I have her think and learn!

Some people don't get it.... a lot of people don't get it.

Juno CGC 2009 :: Sawyer 2015 :: Cajun CGC 2013 :: Lucy 2006
Run free, Molly :: Happy
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Old 11-17-2009, 11:44 PM
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mrose_s mrose_s is offline
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: QLD, Australia
Posts: 12,169

Glad I'm not the only one.

I get a lot of "Just let him be a dog" which basically means "let him offleash despite the fact that once he knows you can't see him he blocks out the sound of your voice - it'll be fine"
I get that my Dad won't be distraight if somethign happened to him, he's a dog and my dad doesn't connect with animals. But he's my responsibility and I don't want a dead dog because I wasn't paying attention.
He also hasn't seen him loose it at another dog yet and I don't think he has a clue what its like to be in that position.

its just.. ehh.

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Old 11-18-2009, 12:56 AM
Saeleofu Saeleofu is offline
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I don't think you're being too strict.

I think you're being responsible.
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Old 11-18-2009, 02:04 AM
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Whisper Whisper is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 13,747

I understand how that feels. I don't let either of of my dogs go out the doorway outside without the release word. The neighbor lady told me I'm taking all the fun out of their lives because of that rule. ??? I actually started doing that when I heard her dog Roxie was hit by a car and killed immediately after bolting out the door.

We just all have to balance the risks and what's fun for the dog and what's best for the dog. Like, my dogs have walks and hikes off leash, otherwise they would be miserable, but there are also rules that go along with it for safety.

You're doing great with Buster. Even through just the pictures I can see he's looking better and better.
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Old 11-18-2009, 02:35 AM
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Dogs6 Dogs6 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 2,118

My mum and sister are soo like that. even though when they are playing they are that stop them because they look like they are fighting. when the dogs are fighting i stop them and when they are playing as long as they respect the rules like not too much noise etc I let them play.But on the rare occasion that they do let the dogs play it is leave them alone they're only playing. Yes they might be only playing but it is my job to make sure that it doesn't turn into a fight.

The same with my go to your place when I'm at the door rule. My dad laughed at me when he saw me try to train that one. And of course when I come back from a weekend at my garnny's it took me 6 tries to get them to stay in their place while I opened the door. They understood what I wanted after the first couple of times but because he had just opened the door and let them run they thought they might get away with it.

It is the same with a lot of rules in our house but the dogs have learnt that I am the only one that enforces rules so my rules are usually followed well.

I have a lot of stories like those unfortuantely lol

So yes I understand what you mean. It is frustarating.
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:42 AM
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ihartgonzo ihartgonzo is offline
and Fozzie B!
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Northern California
Posts: 5,903

No way!... that doesn't even sound like being strict. You're just being safe & responsible.

I think I'm over-the-top strict sometimes, because I expect A LOT from my dogs. Only because I know they're capable of being the best little dogs in the world. When they feel like it. haha! I am totally Miss Manners with them, and I can see it reflected in their personalities. They become personally offended when dogs are pulling on leash, being unruly, and jumping up on other people.

<3 Erica, Gonzo & Fozzie
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:51 AM
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Gustav Gustav is offline
Don't encourage me..
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: France
Posts: 9,125

I don't think you're being too strict..

My dogs spend 90% of the time offleash, this is not their RIGHT, it's a priviledge that I have given them because of their responsible behaviour and their ability to obey commands, but on the other hand it's a priviledge that CAN and WILL be removed if they aren't mindful of their actions.

It's my responsibility as their "pack leader" not to put them in potentially dangerous situations and if that means that they have to go on a leash or walk to heel, then so be it. I love them, I respect them, but they aren't my boss, they have to do as they are told i'm afraid, otherwise I wouldn't be able to manage them. Plus they wouldn't have the life that they have now, they wouldn't be able to gallivant around and they wouldn't have the same level of liberty or freedom.

I've never had a dog that had to spend all it's time on a leash, the idea of solely walking a dog whilst attached is quite alien to me.. But then again I have always lived in the countryside where there are little to no dangers, and I have always perfected recall with my dogs before teaching them anything new.

Drivey dogs can get themselves into all sorts of trouble when they spot something to chase.. Their brains tend to fall completely out of their heads, or they forget that they ever had a brain in the first place. Gus is the same, no matter how well trained he is, no matter how good his recall is, and it is good.. He see's a deer, and he's off!! Ciao mummy! It only made matters worse the day he actually caught one by the back leg.. Luckily I shouted enough so that he dropped it, but still, that hound can be miles away in SECONDS!

Dogs are incredibly intelligent, even if they like to play dumb sometimes.. Keeping their brains exercised is just if not more important than keeping their muscles exercised. Gus knows all sorts of ridiculous tricks, which he LOVES to show off for company, he gets such a positive reaction from people he just gets overwhelmed with joy.. You can see his little brain ticking over thinking to himself.. "Well, he has snacks, if I crawl over to him, maybe he'll share" and inevitably people fall for it every time.

So no.. You do what you think is best to keep your boy safe!
Secondhand Dog(s) Owners!

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

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