Man Rules (humour)

[Dekka]

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down


Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side....


Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[wcladymacbeth]

Originally Posted by Dekka

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

Hehehe... I get annoyed at Justin sometimes for not getting obvious hints. I mean, what's more clear when I'm at work and he's at home, and I send him 50 text messages about how good a Wendy's double cheeseburger sounds right now. And how much I wish someone could bring me a Wendy's double cheeseburger. No fries, no drink. Just a cheeseburger. After the 50th text, he finally says, "Oh, do you want me to bring you a cheeseburger?"

I just don't get it. I don't see what's so wrong with obvious hints, and why that concept is so hard for guys.

[wcladymacbeth]

Those are funny, btw and I could see Justin agreeing with all of them, except the sports ones. Thank God he doesn't like to watch most sports on TV.

[Dekka]

Mark isn't into watching sports either.. but my dad is very much the race (as in cars) watch a holic... So I can still relate to that one.

[Dakotah]

lol those are funny.

[Snip]

Originally Posted by Dekka

Mark isn't into watching sports either.. but my dad is very much the race (as in cars) watch a holic... So I can still relate to that one.

So scratch that one off...but pay close attention to the rest. How can we make it any simpler?

[Renee750il]

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

Yes, but he was SUPPOSED to be going to India. As a result of his not asking directions, a whole lot of indigenous people died unpleasantly, and they were the lucky ones, Europe remembered there was a whole big continent across the water that was supposedly chock full of loot, a whole 'nother bunch of indigenous people died unpleasantly, and they were the lucky ones, King George III didn't get invited to a really big tea party, his feelings got hurt, then his ass got handed to him by a bunch of uncivilized colonials with funny LIBERAL ideas and two hundred and something years later we had to get rid of another King George for many of the same reasons that got his predecessor into a jam.

All because one man was too stubborn to get directions.

[Fran101]

lol i love the one about them only knowing basic colors! its SO TRUE!

I couldn't even get my bf to figure out what turquoise is.. he was all like "wtf.that is blue"

[noodlerubyallie]

Renee,



Yours truly,

NRA

[SmexyPibble]

Ah, those are great.