Is this normal? *Long*

Lilavati

Arbitrary and Capricious
Joined
Sep 3, 2007
Messages
7,644
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
47
Location
Alexandria, VA
#41
Dakota, lots of other people have said this, but I'll add in. I don't think its strange at all. Back about 10-12 years ago, I had a very, very early miscarriage. I had had no idea that I was (ever so briefly) pregnant, and certainly didn't want to be, but I was depressed for days.
 

Fran101

Resident fainting goat
Joined
Oct 12, 2008
Messages
12,546
Likes
0
Points
36
Location
Boston
#42
Getting off/on BC is tough on the hormones, getting off my BC (I wanted to start another type) put me into a crying/emotional sappy mes. I was like that for WEEKS

The way I see it babies are like getting a tattoo on your face. It never goes away and will change your life forever. Commit to it 100% and be willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING (money, time, sleep, relationships, potential futures, dreams, your significant other, a sex life, friends, a life etc..) and be able to think about/deal with EVERY worse case scenario (significant other leaving you, losing his/your job, not going to school, how you will afford x, y, or z) or don't even try to do it.

I would really take Paiges/zooms advice to heart and WAIT When it comes to something as HUGE as starting a family, there is no such thing as being too prepared.. and there is plenty of time for babies.

Babies are born in less than "ideal/perfect" situations and people do make it work and have happy, healthy perfect kids! but to actually try when not 100% ready.. that is a choice that you can't undo/re-think after the fact. It's also a choice that can build up A LOT of resentment/anger in couples and individuals (Towards themselves, towards each other and worse than anything, towards the child.) who look back and realize they aren't ready and things are NOWHERE NEAR as simple as their "plans".

Now, as for "normal". I found out recently that I won't even be able to have kids. I didn't even lose a child, I lost the "Potential" and that made me really sad. So yea, "normal" isn't really a solid term lol

just my 2 cents
 

~Tucker&Me~

Active Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2005
Messages
4,940
Likes
0
Points
36
#43
Dak I figured that was what you meant but just wanted to clarify :) I know someone who had a teen pregnancy and she was looked down on a lot for some of the decisions she made, which included sometimes dropping her son off at the grandparents house. She had him at 18 and it was a major event in her life. He is now much older and everything worked out great, but learning to be a good mom was a process, it didn't happen overnight. Sometimes I feel like teen moms and young parents are looked down on for trivial things (like not always feeling 'blessed', being upset over some losses in other aspects of their life like some freedom, etc) and people forget that at 18 and 19 and even 20, a lot of people aren't done developing yet and their brain is still growing. They are not fully mature.

Getting off/on BC is tough on the hormones, getting off my BC (I wanted to start another type) put me into a crying/emotional sappy mes. I was like that for WEEKS

The way I see it babies are like getting a tattoo on your face. It never goes away and will change your life forever. Commit to it 100% and be willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING (money, time, sleep, relationships, potential futures, dreams, your significant other, a sex life, friends, a life etc..) and be able to think about/deal with EVERY worse case scenario (significant other leaving you, losing his/your job, not going to school, how you will afford x, y, or z) or don't even try to do it.

I would really take Paiges/zooms advice to heart and WAIT When it comes to something as HUGE as starting a family, there is no such thing as being too prepared.. and there is plenty of time for babies.

Babies are born in less than "ideal/perfect" situations and people do make it work and have happy, healthy perfect kids! but to actually try when not 100% ready.. that is a choice that you can't undo/re-think after the fact. It's also a choice that can build up A LOT of resentment/anger in couples and individuals (Towards themselves, towards each other and worse than anything, towards the child.) who look back and realize they aren't ready and things are NOWHERE NEAR as simple as their "plans".

Now, as for "normal". I found out recently that I won't even be able to have kids. I didn't even lose a child, I lost the "Potential" and that made me really sad. So yea, "normal" isn't really a solid term lol

just my 2 cents
I agree with this completely! Dak I have no doubts you will be an excellent mother, but do consider waiting longer. 8 months is barely what I would consider a long term relationship. My SO and I are at 4 years and we still find out new things about each other and our relationship has changed a LOT (in a good way, luckily) within those few years. Get stable first, save money, learn how to be a couple FIRST... Learning to be parents can come later. 21/22 is still a really young age to have kids.
 

Dakotah

Kotah BEAR
Joined
Jan 1, 2008
Messages
7,998
Likes
0
Points
0
Location
GA
#44
Thanks yall :)

TJ and I have been talking and we are going to wait. We aren't trying to have kids, I would understand people being mad (not yall) if we were trying, but we aren't.

<3
 

Members online

No members online now.
Top