Stupid emotions.

nedim

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#1
I've been feeling really down lately, and have been getting so angry over the stupidest things. I hate feeling helpless and that just adds to the anger. I'll be honest, I don't trust my self any more. It's not what I would do to myself, but what I'm afraid I'll do to anyone who gets me angry. I try so hard to be nice, so hard to avoid confrontation, and it backfires. I guess I'm too soft when it comes to emotions, and I hate that about myself. I really fear that if somone gets me angry, I'll just lose it. I know it sounds stupid, but for one reason or another that has been my mentality lately. I don't know why things affect me the way they do. I was thinking today and I've never met anyone like myself. I feel alone. Usually, thats fine by me. Usually, I'd just say screw everyone else, I don't need anyone. But now, I feel really empty and in a way scared. I thank you for reading this and I dont expect a response back. I just need to get this out and try to get everything sorted out. Thanks for listening.
 

Saje

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#2
Do you know what's causing all of these feelings? I know what it's like to feel that way. It usually happens when I'm really frustrated with my life. Do you work out or get some exercise? Sometimes that is a good relief and makes you feel good about yourself.

Talk to us
 

nedim

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#3
Saje said:
Do you know what's causing all of these feelings? I know what it's like to feel that way. It usually happens when I'm really frustrated with my life. Do you work out or get some exercise? Sometimes that is a good relief and makes you feel good about yourself.

Talk to us


Everything is causing me to feel like this. I'm getting so pissed at minute things. I really think that I see things differently than everyone. I can't explain it. I work out, but in a gym, so it's hard to go full force there and just let everything out.
 

Saje

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#4
Take up boxing!!! LOL

Seriously, I wish I could help. It could be a teenage thing. What makes you happy/content? Focus on those things.
 

nedim

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#5
Saje said:
Take up boxing!!! LOL

Seriously, I wish I could help. It could be a teenage thing. What makes you happy/content? Focus on those things.

Its not that. I know all teenagers go through tough times, but this is different. And I know all teenagers say "noone understands me, I'm all alone", and all that jazz, but its not even that. I can't explain it, it's how I feel. And I know noone feels the way I do, because like I said before, I have NEVER met ANYONE even remotely similair to me, or how I think. The mentality is too tough to grasp.
 

Saje

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#6
If it's that serious then maybe you should talk to the school counsellor or someone else. It does worry me a little how you explain it.

Give Peanut a hug.
 

nedim

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#7
Saje said:
If it's that serious then maybe you should talk to the school counsellor or someone else. It does worry me a little how you explain it.

Give Peanut a hug.


I dont want to worry anyone, I just neede to get that out. Keeping it in was killing me.
 

Saje

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#8
that's what we're here for! Everyone needs to vent. And I find writing to be good therapy. So talk away. We're all friends. :)
 

RD

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#9
I know how you feel, I feel the same way sometimes... (Yeah, there goes your "nobody is similar to me" argument. ;)) I've never met anyone like me, and I don't think I ever will - when I was in private school I felt like a freak, because the entire agenda of that school was conformity and being "normal".. I just wasn't normal. I didn't have anything in common, personality-wise, with anyone there. (I'm a type "A" personality to the extreme, it makes it so that most people who know me well either love me or hate me - nothing really in between lol!)

Eventually I got over the 'need to conform', and I felt secure with being unique.. Everyone's different in a way, I just happen to be different in many ways. (Ok, "different" is the term therapists use to make someone feel special. I'm weird, psycho, mental, whatever you wanna call me. :D) I took up sports and started working out -boxing is a really good suggestion btw- and getting involved in things that *I* enjoyed, and actually just accepted the fact that I was me - and it's likely that nobody else will come close to that.
What is it about being unique that makes you feel bad? Do you really -want- to be like everyone else?
 
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#10
Saje said:
Take up boxing!!! LOL

Seriously, I wish I could help. It could be a teenage thing. What makes you happy/content? Focus on those things.
Wonderful answer! Boxing eats up that excess energy and anger. Its good for your body and great for your mind. Nothing in the world better for a young angry man to be able to vent and to be humbled by another angry young man venting.
 

nedim

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#11
Rip's Girl said:
I know how you feel, I feel the same way sometimes... (Yeah, there goes your "nobody is similar to me" argument. ;)) I've never met anyone like me, and I don't think I ever will - when I was in private school I felt like a freak, because the entire agenda of that school was conformity and being "normal".. I just wasn't normal. I didn't have anything in common, personality-wise, with anyone there. (I'm a type "A" personality to the extreme, it makes it so that most people who know me well either love me or hate me - nothing really in between lol!)

Eventually I got over the 'need to conform', and I felt secure with being unique.. Everyone's different in a way, I just happen to be different in many ways. (Ok, "different" is the term therapists use to make someone feel special. I'm weird, psycho, mental, whatever you wanna call me. :D) What is it about being unique that makes you feel bad? Do you really -want- to be like everyone else?

No, in fact, I depise most other people. Thats just me. If I do "accept" someone, then I tend to give them my all and look out for them like I would myself. Then I wind up getting hurt by whom I've devoted my all to, and I just shut myself off from others, so that i cant get hurt anymore. I dont wish I was like everyone else. I just wish someone would be more like me.
 
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#12
I think your just going through stupid teenage problems. Ive been there, had enough of the bs that people put you through. Just dont give a **** what others say. Its a better way to live life. You'll be much happier.
 
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#13
I don't really have a suggestion that you've probably already tried. Maybe just try to do the opposite of what you would normally do. If you start getting angry at someone or something find a way to laugh about it, usually there is some humor in an angry situation, just depends on your sense of humor is. If you try to keep your cool and just not say anything when inside you are really irritated, let it out in a non-violent way, in a well articulated way. If you don't wanna go mad crazy at the gym try jogging or running.

"A journey of a thousand steps starts with a single step."
 
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#14
The boxing is an excellent suggestion! It probably saved Charley's life back when. From all accounts, he was (and sometimes still is) a simmering conflagration just waiting for some minor irritant to set off the explosion. He was the skinny, undersized, red-headed kid whose mother was the meanest teacher in the school and did he ever grow up angry! Boxing not only gave him an outlet, later on, when his father was killed and he went wild trying to put himself into situations that would get him killed, his reputation kept the tush hogs from wanting to have anything to do with him, lol! But it is an excellent outlet for those feelings, as well as a focus and a means of letting the rage flow through you instead of forcing it to build to a crescendo - something I was an expert at for a very, very long time. Your description of your feelings sounds all too familiar to me . . .
 

Melissa_W

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#15
hmmmm...

I used to be a very angry person too. This is probably going to sound silly to you, I know it did to me when I first heard it... but... you can feel however you want to feel. You can choose to focus on negative things, you can let little things piss you off OR you can try to focus on positive things, and things that make you happy.

I did martial arts for a while to try to relieve my anger. It would temporarily make me feel better, but it wasn't a long term solution.

I wouldn't worry too much though. You are young, this is something that you will sort out eventually. Try talking to someone you trust, if that would make you feel better (if there is anyone you trust). I wish I could/would have done that instead of trying to deal with it myself.

And you aren't alone. I mean, you are unique, but you aren't the first person who has felt this way.
 

Fran27

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#16
nedim said:
No, in fact, I depise most other people. Thats just me. If I do "accept" someone, then I tend to give them my all and look out for them like I would myself. Then I wind up getting hurt by whom I've devoted my all to, and I just shut myself off from others, so that i cant get hurt anymore. I dont wish I was like everyone else. I just wish someone would be more like me.

You sound so much like me. I guess the difference is that I don't despise people, but I do feel that most people are idiots (although it doesn't seem to be the case of people here, i have to add, lol). I'm extremely independent, and I always have problems getting really accepted in groups, heck even forums. It's the first where I feel that people accept me, even if I'm sure some really dislike me... mostly because I'm just a honest person, and people don't like honest persons, because they hate being told that they are wrong.

Exactly the same thing for friends... I get *extremely* attached when I have one, and it usually backfires and leaves me really unhappy. I don't know if I'm expecting too much, the counsellor I went to see last year told me I'm not, or if I have just had bad luck with my friends, who all let me down at a really bad time... First one just after I told her I was going to divorce, second one when I started the infertility treatments and really needed someone to spend time with me to stop obsessing about it...

But I got a revelation about a year ago. I went in a week end with my last friends. Well, first, it didn't go so well. It was 3 guys I had met online, but I had already met two of them a few times. The other one was a very well respected guy in the game (yeah, I tend to meet people in online games, because at least I know I have something in common with them), and I was close to him enough to chat online and on the phone. Well anyway, they behaved like normal 21-25 year old guys. Drinking and wanting to have fun. And I realized after one day that it's just not me, and I should just stop pretending, because I just feel better alone than with people who are so different than me. Even with the guy I considered my best friend, as soon as we were with other people, I didn't have fun. I hate parties, being drunk and that stuff... I much prefer spending an evening with a couple friends chatting.

To this date I still haven't met anyone like me (even my husband isn't, I'm way more serious and boring than he is), I don't have any friend, and the truth is, it doesn't bother me... and I feel much better than when I was with those friends who just don't see things the way I do.
 

Zoom

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#17
Nedim, it sounds like you have a rolicking case of depression. It's not just sadness and cutting, it's the simmering, boiling anger at the world and wanting to lash out at anyone and everyone, just so something different happens, but in the process you drive away those people you managed to let in in the first place. I've through a very similar (no two experiences are ever the very same) and it confused the hell out of my parents, who thought they should be looking for the classic signs.

I'm not going to go tell you talk to a councelor or something like that, because 1) it's already been said and 2) it never helped me all that much. I had one lady tell me that my only problem was that I was angry at my drama teacher for not giving me enough credit for my techie work. B.S. I had just gone through another round of cutting and hiding it from everyone and it's all caused because I'm not the favorite student of an alcoholic twit?

Just find some safe and healthy outlet--go run and teach Peanut to catch a frisbee or something. Running usually worked for me because the angrier I was the harder I would push myself and by the end of the run I was too worn out to feel much beyond the burning in my chest. And do it on a trail because city streets are too monotonous to get your mind off what's pissing you off.
 

bogolove

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#18
Saje said:
Do you know what's causing all of these feelings? I know what it's like to feel that way. It usually happens when I'm really frustrated with my life. Do you work out or get some exercise? Sometimes that is a good relief and makes you feel good about yourself.

Talk to us
That is how I am too. If I am frustrated then I take it out on everyone, and I am trying to be better about that, but it can be hard sometimes.
 

Melissa_W

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#19
If you think you are depressed, have you ever thought about natural remedies like St. John's Wort, SAMe, B complex, or omega 3 fatty acids?
 
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#20
Nedim....it's so important to get those feeling out!!!!! I learned that the hard way a few years ago when I attempted suicide...yes me....I tried to kill myself. I'm the last person in the world that anyone ever thought that would happen to. I try to make everyone happy all of the time....try to avoid confrontion...be the peacemaker. After a while it just ate me up inside, and that's what happened. It was a major wake up call, and forced me to really take a look at myself.

It's really important that you get it...we're always here to listen to you. :)
 

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