How well do you know your SO? Do you/did you check?

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#21
These are the things I was ranting about in another thread, I hate them. Learn to be a person, learn to read people, build relationships and work with people you trust and quit worrying so **** much about what everyone is doing every moment of their lives.

Drug tests for work, I hate them and I don't use anything, not even a **** aspirin. I smoked weed in college 20 years ago maybe 5 times, sue me.

If you can show up for work, do it well and go home, i don't care if you do and neither should anybody else. If you're showing up coked up or on mescalin, people will find out, your work will probably suffer eventually and you'll be canned. your performance will necessitate your employment or lack thereof.

But they were an easy target, druggies are bad. Then it was smokers, easy to vilify, now they're trying to control whether or not they smoke at home even thru taxes and fees.

Now we have credit checks for employment, for insurance rates etc. Just another reason to pry and another reason to exploit more cash.

No private emails at work, no conversation that can't be recorded, video'd and used against you.

On the horizon, you must surrender log in info to email and social media sites to potential employers ( and they shouldn't even be able to ask). Insurance companies put trackers on your vehicles to justify their premiums what's next, I'm thinking cameras in the car on whenever the car turns on.

Soon it will be complete criminal background checks, credit checks, social media checks, body cavity checks etc before you can date somebody's daughter in high school.

and for what? bad **** still happens everyday just like it always has and always will.

Just knock it off already. learn to build relationships, learn to live with other people like and different from you. Do your job and help others when you can. Take time for yourself when you need it and everything will end up ok. Most people are ok, they maybe idiots compared to me :) but they're ok. I have a feeling most are pretty good at hanging out with people they like to hang out with and avoiding any relationships with people they don't want to have one with.

If you're not, learn from your mistakes and get better. It's called life, one giant learning experience and when you think you've got somethign down, the test gets harder. It's great fun :)
 

Beanie

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#23
Just to stir the pot, I feel the same way about prenups--if you feel like you might ever need one, why are you getting married?
http://www.law.harvard.edu/programs/olin_center/papers/pdf/436.pdf
Plenty of food for thought on that subject.


ETA: Sparks, I did a search and couldn't find any studies having been done. However since it's at most 10% of couples get prenups, and 50% of marriages lead to divorce (60% for remarriages), statistically, I would say the likelihood of a prenup leading to divorce is pretty low.
 

Lyzelle

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#24
My husband and I met and married young. We've always been honest with each other, but we don't know EVERYTHING about each other's past. Although, we do know most of the important parts. I couldn't imagine running a background check on someone. If I thought they were being shady, I wouldn't be with them.

Gotta say, though....I really wish my mother had done background checks on her husbands!
 
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#25
I would not do a background check...would not marry someone I felt the need to do one on.

Prenups I think are a bit different. Depending on the situation of course, but often I would assume its more for others piece of mind and just to make things smoother. Like a second marriage where there are already children etc
 
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#26
The concept of a background check on your OH goes against trusting the person. However, people can seems great but have histories you would never guess. If you found a history of domestic violence, restraining orders, etc, you may not want to be with them anymore. Granted not all cases are reported.

I don't see the point of credit checks however.
 

ACooper

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#27
why is D A M N an edited word?
I guess it's considered a curse word :confused:

I never understand why p!ss is bleeped........is it any worse than urine or pee? LOL Same with sh!t..........really? Worse than poop? *shrugs* IDK, just don't use the F*** word RTH, you may get expelled from class :lol-sign:
 
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#28
That.

I married for love and only love, God knows it wasn't money, LOL I love him and I'm very secure and confident in his love for me today just as I was 13 years ago. If there was something he neglected to tell me out of fear, pain, whatever reason, I'm sure we could get through it now like we would have then..........there isn't much I could think of that would ever make me leave his side.

I suppose if he revealed he had bodies buried around the backyard......:eek: LOL
That sums up how I feel about the issue -- if I were ever to marry, or even live with someone again.

Bodies? It would depend on why they were there ;)
 
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#29
These are the things I was ranting about in another thread, I hate them. Learn to be a person, learn to read people, build relationships and work with people you trust and quit worrying so **** much about what everyone is doing every moment of their lives.

Drug tests for work, I hate them and I don't use anything, not even a **** aspirin. I smoked weed in college 20 years ago maybe 5 times, sue me.

If you can show up for work, do it well and go home, i don't care if you do and neither should anybody else. If you're showing up coked up or on mescalin, people will find out, your work will probably suffer eventually and you'll be canned. your performance will necessitate your employment or lack thereof.

But they were an easy target, druggies are bad. Then it was smokers, easy to vilify, now they're trying to control whether or not they smoke at home even thru taxes and fees.

Now we have credit checks for employment, for insurance rates etc. Just another reason to pry and another reason to exploit more cash.

No private emails at work, no conversation that can't be recorded, video'd and used against you.

On the horizon, you must surrender log in info to email and social media sites to potential employers ( and they shouldn't even be able to ask). Insurance companies put trackers on your vehicles to justify their premiums what's next, I'm thinking cameras in the car on whenever the car turns on.

Soon it will be complete criminal background checks, credit checks, social media checks, body cavity checks etc before you can date somebody's daughter in high school.

and for what? bad **** still happens everyday just like it always has and always will.

Just knock it off already. learn to build relationships, learn to live with other people like and different from you. Do your job and help others when you can. Take time for yourself when you need it and everything will end up ok. Most people are ok, they maybe idiots compared to me :) but they're ok. I have a feeling most are pretty good at hanging out with people they like to hang out with and avoiding any relationships with people they don't want to have one with.

If you're not, learn from your mistakes and get better. It's called life, one giant learning experience and when you think you've got somethign down, the test gets harder. It's great fun :)
Great post. :)
 

sparks19

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#31
No matter how much we try.. You can't stop bad things from happening. Chalk it up to a learning experience... It is just a part of life
 

Dizzy

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#32
Only to see if he was worth gold digging lol





No, I can't imagine not having that conversation with him... and like others said, I love him, I'm not going to leave him that easily, warts and all.
 
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#33
Nah. My boyfriend and I have been together for around five years and we're both incredibly boring people. I can't think of any thing he doesn't know about me, and I can't imagine there isn't any thing I know about him. He's a very straight forward good person. I imagine if we ever broke up it would be the most amicable friendliest break up in the history of the world.

If he wanted a prenup to get married (and I don't even care about whether or not we ever get married) I would sign it. He comes from a very rich family and he would never leave me high and dry.

That is the most naive sounding thing I've ever said, lol.
 
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#34
No matter how much we try.. You can't stop bad things from happening. Chalk it up to a learning experience... It is just a part of life
Exactly. Our pasts and how we have moved through them have helped shape who we are today.

There are always exceptions . . . serial killers . . . but that's not going to show up on a background check ;)
 
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#35
I wouldn't do a background check. Prenups I waffle on. My problem with them is that they kind of set a tone of expecting to fail, which I don't think is a good way to go into a marriage. It also is sort of a... "what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours" kind of thing which I personally don't ascribe to.
 
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#37
Seriously, I don't even get the "my paycheck goes into my account, your paycheck goes into your account" thing for married couples. I know it works for a lot of people, and whatever floats your boat, but... I just personally don't get it.
 

HayleyMarie

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#39
A background check? Nope, but Tyler and I have been together since Highschool so I pretty much know everything bad that he's done. ha ha

Im kinnda up in the air with the prenup thing. I don't want to sign one, and I actually might refuse to sign one, but I think Tyler would pefer for us to sign one. I guess when we come to that bridge we will cross it, until then, I will try and not think about it lol
 

Paige

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#40
I wouldn't do a background check. I would not request a prenup but I would sign one if he did. I'm not so naive to think everyone is 100% truthful about their past. He very well could have skeletons in his closet but I have given him the benefit of the doubt. Apart of being in a relationship is trust and without that... what do you really have?
 

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