My great loss

mutt_lover

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#1
My baby Sebastian left me in August and I miss him everyday. He was a 12 year old cockapoo, a mutt by standards when he came to me. My constant companion, the love of my life...he ruled higher in the house than my husband! He went everywhere I did, traveled the country and peed in just about every state. My heart actually ached when I wasn't with him, and you can imagine how I ache now. Amazingly well behaved - except for the habit of trying to stick his tongue in your mouth when he met you, something only a mother would love!

Although my family says they understand that he wasn't just a pet to me, but my child, they still consider me a "fruitcake" because I can't get over my loss. Even trying to write this is hard. So I'm supposed to think of the good times and feel better. I'm supposed to look at the pictures and feel better. I'm supposed to look at the painting of him above my bed and feel better. None of this works.

My house was so empty after Sebastian was gone. He had SO much personality. My other baby Pepper could not fill the void (not much of a kisser)..of course, she was missing him too. So I adopted Brutus from a rescue in September. He is a Labradane-yet another mutt. My kisses are back, but I still ache for Sebastian. The house is quite lively, but I still miss Sebastian.

Sebastian, my love, I know you are at peace now. No longer blind, no longer in pain, no longer too tired. I will miss you always...
 

bubbatd

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#2
I feel your pain... you never get over your Heart Dog....I hope that Sebastian and Bubba have met at the Bridge while they await us. R.I.P., dear boys !
 
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#3
I almosted cried. :( I understand what you feel. Even thought there are others their to fill the void...it won't be done, because he was special. :) :)

You'll never forget him, and he'll always be in your heart, but as you said at least is is not in pain anymore...
 

mutt_lover

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#4
Thank you so much. Helps to know there are others out there. Heart dog, huh? Perfect description.
 

Barb04

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#5
I am crying over your story. I just know Sebastian is in heaven watching over you. Your family would probably consider most of us fruitcakes also as our pets are our children. Sebastian was a special part of your life and will always have a special place in your heart. No one can ever take his place, but your other 2 dogs can help ease the pain. I'm so glad you posted here and look forward to having you on Chazhound.
 

bubbatd

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#7
I can see through his eyes why he's your Heart Dog... Yes, I've loved all my dogs and they're all in my heart... but Bubba filled it.
 

e-chick

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#9
Your post made me cry, I know the pain you are feeling. My dog is very sick and not even gone and yet, I can't stop crying. She's 13 and we've had a great time and she a great life. She had all the love and gave it back triple. I only recently bought a house (I lived in a condo for 11 yrs) with a big yard for her to run and play, I am happy that I was able to give her this final gift, it was always my wish she would have a back yard to play. I saw this poem on the internet and when she does pass, I will plant a tree in the back yard so that she will always be with me.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

Author Unknown
 

Lynn

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#11
So sorry to hear of your loss. Our dog Chaz was the whole reason for this website, so I understand how you feel. If it would help, post more of his pictures so you can enjoy him online. :)
 

sweetgirl

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#13
So sorry for your loss, mutt lover. I am wondering why my grief is so deep with Mattie, too. I realize by reading your story and others on this board that there's always one that steals your heart. For some reason, I thought I would grieve the same for Mattie as my previous dogs. But Sebastian, like Mattie, are different, I think, because they were our soul mates. They make our lives gentle, soften the edges.

Sebastian's personality just fills that photo. What a doll! I'm sure he was very easy to love. My heart goes out to you.
 
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#14
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your new pup will help heal your heart. My yellow is expecting pups from our neighbor's sneaky great dane who is white with black spots. What does your labradane look like??? I am curious as to what they will look like!! I wonder if they will be yellow or spotted???
 

mrose_s

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#15
i feel awful for u. i havnt had the pleasure of owning a dog like that but hold hope that i will sometime.
my mother had a dog like taht, no shedding, listened to every word u said, looked aftre me and grace as 3 and 5 year olds. And we lost her at only 4. sadly, i think it was my father that killed her. trying to get at her and killing the thing he could see he loved the most.
U'll see him again someday im sure of it. and a dog like that will always look out for u even if u dotn know it
 

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