Dealing with Bamm and kids

I don't care if she posts. I would like her to be more realistic about her opionins and say what she means to say and not post something offensive and ridiculous and then take 5 pages to say what she meant to say.

I hardly see how disliking someone on a forum and being honest about it will make me any less of a teacher. There are several people on this forum I constantly disagree with and do not like. Most of them are unaware of it because I don't feel the need to tell them. And I'm sure it's vice versa.

I'd rather not bring my future career into this, as it really isn't relevant. I posted what I did to make some sort of amends. I didn't do it so you could criticize me. I have said the same things as others but for some reason I'm the 'bad guy'.

Everyone has their faults. One of mine is not being able to deal with drama and BS over an extended period of time. (Apparently) I don't like to baby people or ignore bad behavior. I don't want to go around protecting everyone for the sake of being a protector. That is me.

But, you're entitled to your opinions and right to express them.

Where did someone say this so cavalierly? I'm starting to believe you genuinely don't know what the use of quotations is for.

OH GAWD.
Train wreck.

And I'm just mad at myself for taking up so much of my Sunday afternoon reading this crap. Lolz

I don't blame you for finding what she said to be insensitive and offensive, but dragging her mental health into the picture was wrong. I don't have the kind of mental health issues DD does, but other members on here do, and taking jabs at that is far more insulting. If you had left that out, I wouldn't of cared.

Ah, I see. I more meant that as an example of a blanket statement of the kind she makes, less about HER having dogs with whatever issues she has. I agree with Adrianne that her animals probably feed off her feelings towards children and whatever else, but I don't see that as a reason she shouldn't have dogs.

Like her saying "I don't know why anyone would want kids." and the like. Not "If you have issues you shouldn't have a dog."

And a difference between her issues and other members with 'similar' issues would be that they try to work with their problems and not use them as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want. I don't think it matters what problems you have, that doesn't mean you can be constantly offensive. (And not get flack for it.)

This is my opinion - coming from someone who doesn't particularly like kids in general but likes certain kids very much... also as someone who can never/will never have kids and is VERY happy about it. Lastly, this is coming from someone who works in rescue, and 80% of the owner turn-ins are from parents who, for whatever reason, just can't keep their dog anymore now that they have a baby.

I'm not going to speak to this situation as if I'm in your shoes, Amber. But as an outsider as described above, looking in, I'd say if there's an issue... euthanize. Or if you must euth before the baby comes, do so.

I would still be sad for Bamm. I'm sure you would be sad too. I'd still be disappointed to the point of feeling sick that he spent 7 years in a home just to be euthanized because he doesn't fit into your life anymore. I'm sure you would be disappointed too.

But I could forgive it. (Not saying you need anyone's approval or forgiveness, of course. It's your life, you are free to live it as you see fit.)

What I couldn't forgive, however, would be putting Bamm into rescue. He would be a darn hard dog to place... a senior mix with aggression issues is not a rehomable dog in most situations. In a no-kill organization, he'd be alive but he would be filling a spot that could have gone to a dog that would have actually been adoptable. It would mean burdening an already overloaded foster home with the knowledge that they were fostering a dog that would probably die before anyone stepped up to adopt him. As someone who has had a foster dog die in foster care after more than 6 months in my home (and after 12 years in a shelter) without a SINGLE application.... it's heartbreaking. Fostering an unadoptable dog is very depressing, and people who turn in unadoptable dogs to rescue are not people I can really tolerate on any level.

So do what you will, just please don't put him back into the rescue system.

I definitely agree with Sizzle on the rescue front.

LOL several people independently disagreeing with someone isn't piling on or bullying. It's just several people independently disagreeing with someone.

But dragging her mental health into it and making personal attacks is. That goes beyond disagreeing with an opinion. That is bullying.

Absolutely agree with Sizzle on the rescue point. Absolutely do not put him into rescue.

I think she just has an odd way of adding her input in regards to turning things around so it's more about her. I sometimes relate my own personal experiences as a way to relate to a topic. But I do agree some of her remarks were insensitive. I just don't think two wrongs make a right. I think there are other more tactful ways you can express your disapproval of someone's remarks without coming off as just as hostile or hateful. Because then you are no better then them.

Howsabout we stop discussing the drama that is DD, and get back to the actual topic? Seriously. If you want to discuss how everyone is a bully, make your own thread for it.

No u.

Looks like it's time for everyone to take a step back--or take it to PM's.

I think it is very unfair to say that she would be putting Bamm down because he "doesn't fit into her life anymore". She would be putting him down because he has proven on many occasions to be slightly unpredictable and a possible danger to the new baby. It is not like she is giving up all her dogs for this baby. She is very worried about this particular dog being a risk to her baby, and by past experiences, her worries aren't unfounded. There have been many cases of dogs killing or attacking their owner new baby, it is not bad at all to think of the "what if's" if a baby does come into the equation.

If you WERE in her shoes, and you were possibly bringing a baby in and you know you had an unpredictable dog who did not like children, I highly doubt you would not be considering your options too.

I think it also depends on weather or not she'd be able to find another home suitable for him, that does NOT have children, where the people fully understand his issues and history, and are willing to work with him. I've never met Bamm, but he doesn't sound like hopeless dog where euthanasia is the only option.

But again, I've never met him.

Amber has given Bamm a million times more chances than I, or many on this board, would have. The time that he bit her landlord's hand and broke the skin? That would have been game over for most dogs. She's gone above and beyond to accommodate him in her life because she loves him, and because he is awesome despite his imbalances.

However, people need to live their lives and there comes a point where an unstable dog with a serious bite history toward family members and acquaintances is just too much of a danger. I have to agree with Nolu and others, that no human life is worth risking in a scenario with a new born baby. Bamm can be managed right now, but with a baby in the house there's a strong potential for his quality of life to suffer dramatically.

I don't know the right answer. He's not my dog. I don't live with him. I don't know how he'd react to his own baby. Never met him. Amber does know some of that at least, and I have faith that whatever decision she makes will be the right decision for her family, including Bamm.

I'm not saying putting him to sleep is the only option nor am I advocating to do so. Skittledo is considering her options, what could happen if Bamm does not tolerate the child, and I do not believe it is unreasonable to do so in this case. This isn't a "oh, the baby here and owning a dog is too much trouble now so I'm going to rehome/put him to sleep" situation, this is a "dog might be a threat to the baby" situation.

Agreed 100%

I don't think that sizzle meant that in disrespect, but it really is what would be happening, right now she works her lifestyle around Bamms issues, if she has a child she is not comfortable (and understandably so, I wouldn't have him in a home with my children) having him, because her lifestyle would be changing.

Personally since he has bitten and broken skin there would be no way, no how I would allow him to go to another home, I would blame myself if he seriously hurt someone because the new home didn't take his issues seriously enough. If he were mine I would have him PTS once I found out I was pregnant and probably well into the pregnancy at that, but he would be PTS in MY arms, with my face and my love letting him go peacefully knowing that I kept him safe and loved for 7 years.

But this thread isn't about needing to do something with Bamm now. This is a thread about what to do with Bamm now that she wants a baby. Obviously Bamm has a place in her life now, but when a baby is added to the mix, he won't. To me that is the textbook definition of "not fitting into the family anymore."

And if I was in the same situation, I would keep the dog separate from the child. No question about it. Especially for an old dog. I have a house that is designed very well for segregation. I would make it work, because I personally could not give up a dog I've lived with and loved for eight or nine years.

(And one of my dogs is not a kid-safe dog, and does have a sharp temperament, and does have a bite record. He's not unpredictable... But he is not a dog I would ever have around a kid in the house.)