Lost my 17 year old poodle today

I just got home a few hours ago from my vet with my Mom and brother. We put down our poodle, Lightning, after 15 years. He was suffering from many degenerative ailments - major hearing loss, debilitating arthritis (and ACL tear), and severe catarcts. I am 20, grew up with him and, as can be imagined, am a wreck. It is not me I am worried about, however. Lightning has been my Mom's best companion through alot of hardship over these years. We're really close, and as I've been away at school, Lightning has sort of taken my place. As hard as I am taking his passing, I can only imagine what is going through my Mom's head.

Does anyone have any ideas to help me help my Mom get through this? I am totally new at this losing someone you love thing, and just want to stop her heart from hurting (as well as mine) . I would appreciate any words of wisdom.

Thank you very much.

Sara

A picture of him:

A-w-w geez! I'm so very sorry. What an adorable and sweet looking dog. This is one of the hardest things to do in life and every dog owner goes through it, some, myself included go through it too many times. Time is really the only thing that helps dull the pain. And trying to bring about acceptance....as far as reiterating in your mind that the dog was old, had a good, happy life, that someone else could have had the dog, but instead you and your Mom had her. She was one lucky dog to be loved and cared for so well. And then you tell yourself that she is free of the pain, discomfort, lack of having much fun anymore....you tell yourself because it's true and it helps. Feeling happy that the dog is not suffering helps make you happier.

Memories....going back through the years and focusing on good, happy memories, looking at old photos helped me. It's crushing at first, but it gets easier and a little bit of strength that you muster up, that telling yourself that this is part of life...a cycle. You try to talk logic to yourself and it helps a little bit. The rest is just crying, talking to other dog lovers who have gone through it... and most of all, time.

What helped me through the last time was having other dogs around. That really helped a lot.

Also, I don't know...it's an individual thing, but after a while, maybe your Mom will feel like thinking about another dog. Its amazing what these wonderful creatures, these gifts to human kind do for people. And it sounds like there could be a dog out there in the future that your Mom could give a loving home to and every dog needs a loving home. No matter how hard it is, I always turn around and do it again because the joy out weighs the hurt of losing them and I like the idea of making another life happy, hopefully almost as happy as they make me.

My sister just lost her dog at about 13 years old. She's also very sad and misses Shelby a lot. But she is a soldier and will keep on going, probably will get another dog. Another dog doesn't replace the one we miss, of course. But it's just another loving creature to give to. And it helps....when the time is right. For me, it's always been "right" within a month or two. It's very healing.

Tell your Mom, I send her my sincere condolenses. I know just how sad she must be.

I am really sorry to hear about your loss.

Last year when I lost my poodle, no one in my family thought we should get a dog for a long time. But it was only after getting another one (and then another) that we felt better. The new dogs love reminds you of the good times you had with your previous dog.

Good Luck

Elissa

Thank you so much, you both have made me feel a little better. I realize that only time and memories will heal - but it's hard to fathom seeing has it's only been a few hours.

My mom is not interested in getting another dog at this time. Lightning was attached to her - anywhere she would go in the house, he would follow. If she left, he'd usually cry for a little before settling down. She might change her mind eventually, though. Being 20, and almost ready to move out on my own - I will definitely be getting a dog once I settle in to my own. Who knows when that'll be.

Again, thank you for sharing your insights and stories. They have really helped.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

RIP Lightening.

I am so sorry!

I'm sorry to hear about Lightning. There was definitely a lot of love between all of you. Just take each day one at a time. It's a difficult time right now and will get better, believe me. I lost CJ 3-1/2 months ago and still cry at times. We look at pictures and videos we made which somehow comfort us thinking about the good times we had. Please know Lightning will live forever in you hearts and memories.

I rescued a dog after CJ went to doggie heaven since that's how I got CJ also. Somehow rescuing a dog who needed love as much as I did helped. Give your mom time and she will know when and if it's right to get another dog to be her pal.

Very sorry to hear that. Poodles are great dogs! Much tougher, smarter, intuitive, and more fun than those froufrou haircuts would suggest. I agree with Dobie, don't try not to mourn and it always helps to have other dogs around. It may seem counterintuitive but it helps in the long run. Talk to your mother, help her out as much as you can, maybe help her with errands, and let her mourn at her own pace. It's a rough time and important to let people grieve in their own way at their own pace. Same for all the family, including you.

He was a beautiful dog. I know no dog can ever replace him, but you might want to ask if your mom would be interested in adopting another dog. Plenty of dogs out there need loving homes,and Im sure your mom has alot of love to give. Make sure you talk to your mom though, and dont jsut go out and get her a new dog.
Hope everything gets better. I know its hard.
Kate

I've no great advice Sameso. I am just so sorry to hear of your loss. Your Mum will feel lost for a long time but having you to talk about Lightening with will help her through. Perhaps together you can complie a photo album of Lightening and in doing so laugh and cry at the memories you share of your beloved dog.

Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss. It takes time to heal. You and your mom will have to go through the greiving steps. She will eventually be able to remember Lightening and smile. She may want another, then again she may not. We not only chose to get another, we got two. Just be there for her to talk and cry. You two can comfort each other. Again I'm so sorry, my sympathy to you and your mom. RIP little guy. He was a cutie.