Got these in the mailing from Ladyhawke's site the other day:
"Cat Dictionary"
** Aquarium: interactive television for cats.
** Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.
** Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.
** Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.
** Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.
** Dog: a cat's device for running practice.
** Door: something a cat always wants to be
on the other side of.
AND . . .
"Making Dinner"
A woman is enjoying a good game of bridge with
her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush
home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going
to really ticked if it's not ready on time."
When she gets home, she realizes she doesn't have
enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she
has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg,
and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can
of cat food, stirs in the boiled egg, and garnishes it
with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling up.
She greets her husband and then watches in horror
as he sits down to his dinner. To her surprise, the
husband is really enjoying his dinner.
"Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for
me in forty years of marriage. You can make this
for me any old day."
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the
woman made her husband the same dish. She told
her bridge cronies about it and they were all horrified.
"You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed.
Two months later, her husband died.
The woman were sitting around the table playing
bridge when one of the cronies said, "You killed him!
We told you that feeding him that cat food every week
would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly
and play bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off
the mantel while he was licking his butt!"
"Cat Dictionary"
** Aquarium: interactive television for cats.
** Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.
** Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.
** Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.
** Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.
** Dog: a cat's device for running practice.
** Door: something a cat always wants to be
on the other side of.
AND . . .
"Making Dinner"
A woman is enjoying a good game of bridge with
her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush
home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going
to really ticked if it's not ready on time."
When she gets home, she realizes she doesn't have
enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she
has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg,
and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can
of cat food, stirs in the boiled egg, and garnishes it
with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling up.
She greets her husband and then watches in horror
as he sits down to his dinner. To her surprise, the
husband is really enjoying his dinner.
"Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for
me in forty years of marriage. You can make this
for me any old day."
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, the
woman made her husband the same dish. She told
her bridge cronies about it and they were all horrified.
"You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed.
Two months later, her husband died.
The woman were sitting around the table playing
bridge when one of the cronies said, "You killed him!
We told you that feeding him that cat food every week
would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly
and play bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off
the mantel while he was licking his butt!"
