Friend Wants Dog... But Problem

yoko

New Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2005
Messages
5,347
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
37
Location
Oklahoma
#1
first off sry i didn't know if this topic went here or in the fire hydrant. it has to do with a dog but not really...

ok i have been helping a lot of my friend find dogs at shelters and they've all ended up really happy with the dogs i've helped find for them.

well one of them has been looking for a dog for quite awhile. she wants a small one because she lives in an apartment with her grandma. she came over last night to spend the night and go job hunting. she meet yoshi and fell in love with her. anyway after doing some job hunting we went to the animal shelter and the humane society. it was fun and of course we fell in love with a couple dogs. then there was this dog she wanted a lot. the thing is i don't think she should be getting a dog right now and i told her that.
  • she doesn't have a job
  • her mom, who doesn't live with her, doesn't have a job
  • she lives with her grandma
  • she doesn't have money and wouldn't be able to afford food every week or vet care for shots or if an emergency happened
  • and i'm not being mean, but she is not the most athletic person in the world, meaning to her she'd rather die than get up and go outside some times

i don't think it would be fair for her to get a dog right now seeing as she wouldn't have the money to care for it. and she doesn't have the energy to take the dog on walks... or outside to play. she wants a dog that looks unique and i can understand that but that shouldn't be why she picks a dog.

i told her that i would help her find a dog when i thought she was ready for one. but right now i didn't htink she was ready to own one. even though i told her that she still filled out the sheet at the humane society for a dog. i don't want to like start anything with her seeing as she is a friend i've had since middle school. but i don't want to see her getting a dog and it suffering becuase she wouldn't listen to reason. i need some advice on what to do. i wouldn't be worried, but the humane society doesn't do house checks and no where on the application did it ask if you had the money for a dog it just asks address and stuff like that and if you can own a dog where you live. would it be wrong for me to call them up and tell them what i know? i don't want her to have a dog AT ALL right now.
 

lucille

New Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2005
Messages
400
Likes
0
Points
0
#2
My first thought was that this person definitely doesn't need a dog and that perhaps shopping at the shelter was not a good way to spend time because inevitably one sees dogs that tug at one's heartstrings.
But after some reconsideration, I am not so sure. Obviously for some reason the family is down and out. But if she genuinely wants a dog, and she has the gumption to go out and job hunt, I think she will get a job soon, even if it pays little. And really, the alternative for those dogs is euthanasia.
There are in almost every major metropolitan area places to receive some free vet care, at least immunizations. I know here in Houston people who are ascertained to be on low income can get free spay/neuter/shots for their dog through a SNAP mobile program.
And while we all know that cheap dog food is not the best, it is a heck of an improvement over a euthanasia situation. If your friend has persistence she will improve her life and be able to buy better food and so on in the future.
Sometimes pairing a dog with a person who is down and out is good for both of them: the person has additional incentive to go out into the world and try and the dog has a situation where it is loved and a future, which it may have not had at a shelter.
 

yoko

New Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2005
Messages
5,347
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
37
Location
Oklahoma
#3
see in my opinion she shouldn't be getting this dog right now. saving a dog now or saving a dog later, either way she'd be saving one. she doesn't want a job but has to go through the motions to make her mother happy. i think she should wait for now until she can take care of herself. she's not helping anyone if she ends up not feeding the dog or having a neighbor take it out and shoot it because she can't handle it
 

Carolyn

ZooMaster!!
Joined
Nov 14, 2005
Messages
728
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
57
Location
Melbourne, Australia
#4
very difficult situation. I can see your points absolutely and understand your concern. But I have to also agree with Lucille. It doesn't mean because of her situation that she won't look after the dog.

It will probably make her want to excersise more if she gets one.

I think maybe the best thing you can do is stand back. You've already told her you don't think getting a dog is right for her right now. I think thats all you can do. She will go ahead and get one if she really wants to no matter what anyone says.

If she does decide to get one, then you can help to teach her the best ways to take care of the dog. Make walk and play dates with your dogs to help get her out and about.

Try not to worry, you've done all you can, and you just might find it turns out ok ;)
 
Joined
Oct 20, 2005
Messages
686
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
44
Location
East Coast
#5
Dosent sound like your friend is ready to have a pet. Pets can get expensive, food, toys, vet visits, it all adds up some way or another. I would advise her to get a job first, save some money up, and then consider getting a pet. Makes no sense to get a pet when you dont have the money to take care of it.
 
Joined
Jan 21, 2006
Messages
52
Likes
0
Points
0
Location
Texas
#6
I have mixed feeling on this because I see pros and cons of the situation. When my hubby was off of work for injury he had to fight the insurance company for 6 months. All the money we had coming in at the time was my measley support checks. But we still managed to get the dogs feds, and yes there are many places out there that will do the low cost shots, spays and neuters. I was so down through the whole thing, and my dogs were always there to cheer me up. I'd been lost without them. Then when Cyrus got sick, we still managed to get him to our vet, and they worked with us as well right to his last days.

On the otherhand, there are people out there that have no clue as to what "responsibility" is, and lose sight of the fact they adopted this dog and therefore need to care for it. Even though you have told your friend that she is not ready for a dog, I think she needs to make the decision for herself, and you can be very helpful to her when she needs it. I think with you calling the humane society would cause further problems, especially between you and your friend of so many years.
 

mojozen

bullie lover
Joined
Nov 1, 2005
Messages
1,517
Likes
0
Points
0
Location
Madison, wi
#7
I think it all comes down to how responsible your friend really is. Will she think of herself first and only after that her pet? Maybe you should try steering her towards a cat or a rat or a hamster... not saying those animals aren't also expensive to take care of but it might be more up her alley with what she cna offer. Dogs seem to be a bit more labor intensive than most people realize.
 

Fran27

Active Member
Joined
Mar 15, 2005
Messages
10,642
Likes
0
Points
36
Age
45
Location
New Jersey
#8
Well it depends. In my experience, if someone is lazy and doesn't like going out, getting a dog won't change it. Do they have a yard? I'm not too fond of people leaving their dog in the yard all the time, but if she let the dog out in the yard from time to time during the day it would still be better for the dog than to be in a kennel in a shelter. Just my opinion though.
 

yoko

New Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2005
Messages
5,347
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
37
Location
Oklahoma
#9
thanks for all the advice you guys..

no she doesn't have a yard. she lives in some apartments that are set up kind of like duplexles situated right next to each other. they each have a 'yard' area of grass but it's not fenced and it's only about the size of a room.

i told her i would help her out with the dog if she really needed it. but all i have is a f/t job making $7 an hour and i do have my dog to take care of. i wouldn't be able to buy her dog food every week or every other week all the time. she had to ask me for money for a leash and then asked me if i could drive her to get it since she doesn't have a drivers license.

i'm just kind of worried because all the pets she'd had before she only had for about 2 or 3 years tops. that's cats, dogs, or pigs.

she can't even afford to buy cereal or milk for herself and that's why i think she should wait until she has a job and some actual money to take care of herself and a dog.
 
Joined
Nov 28, 2004
Messages
3,836
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
60
Location
Indianapolis
#10
If she tries to pursue this, hopefully you can be there to guide her when she fills out the app at a shelter... to make sure she doesn't lie. I don't think they would release a dog to her knowing the situation, but sadly, I'm probably wrong...
 

yoko

New Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2005
Messages
5,347
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
37
Location
Oklahoma
#11
i was there when she filled out the app but like i said it didn't really ask about her situation
 

Gempress

Walks into Mordor
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
11,955
Likes
0
Points
0
#12
yoko said:
I'm just kind of worried because all the pets she'd had before she only had for about 2 or 3 years tops. That's cats, dogs, or pigs.
This person should not get a dog. Her track record so far shows that she can't manage to keep pets. It seems to me that she's just not mature enough. I understand that life situations can change, but from what you described, your friend has a pretty poor pet history. I think she needs to take charge of her own life before she becomes responsible for another.
 
Joined
Nov 28, 2004
Messages
3,836
Likes
0
Points
0
Age
60
Location
Indianapolis
#14
This is sads. Sounds like your friend just needs loved and someone(thing) to love on. But she's not in a position to really care for a dog... :(
 

Members online

No members online now.
Top