Or you're raised with/by them, so it takes awhile to realize that it's not the normal course of events.
EXACTLY!!!!!
My family is very toxic. To the point that they don't know where I live, have my number or see us. We are 'no contact' with them, because there's no middle ground or talking to them and sorry, do not want to have to either take medication to stay sane with the stress they add or have to monitor every single detail of a situation to make sure it's good and healthy for my kids.
My mother is the main issue but her personality issues have been passed down to my siblings and my father and they all do the same things and support the toxic behavior.
It's ok for my mother to tell her then 8 year old grandchild that 'grandma will still love you when she dies' and then talk about killing herself. It's also ok for grandma to take over parenting choices and do things against the actual parent's wishes because 'she knows what she's doing'. Or support her son in his gambling and drug issues by providing him with a free place to live, cooked meals and laundry service while he makes great money and goes out all night
. It's also ok for the entire family to 'block' members who aren't walking the line (which is why we ended up not talking to them, what good is family when you can't reach any of them at all - not saying they didn't email within 2 minutes, I mean MONTHS go by with no response).
Anyway for us it's better to cut the tumor out and let it rot elsewhere. :rofl1:
But the article is good for the lessor toxic people out there that you can monitor (in our case anything short of having my mother with a key and the ability to walk in at any time wasn't good enough!).