Do you want kids?

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You're very, very fortunate if you've never seen this happen.
Just to be clear, I never said it never happens. I have seen it too, on both sides. How many women are bullied into breastfeeding in bathrooms? Are told they are killing their children by not birthing in a hospital or not immediately consenting to a c-section etc? There are extremes and assholes on every side for sure. But I ALSO feel that when people are already feeling sensitive things seem more judgemental than intended. I also think one can disagree with someones choices without judging them or thinking less of them.
 

-bogart-

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Up until like last week I was one of those happy glowy what could people dislike about being pregnant people. Then I woke up one am and feet so big no shoes fit and my face and every other bit of me is swollen. Dr got it somewhat under control but this time around going into it naturally is not going to happen. her goal is to at least get me to monday but at this point I am so miserable I am sure its not good for me or the baby.


I don't care what they have to do in the end to keep us safe. I told dr do it and I trust them.
HUGS HUGS I hope you can get some ease some way. When i was 40 weeks with the twins i was miserable and could not stand anything and was pissed at the world. All the other kids where on egg shells and all my hubby could do was grovel and apologize that he did this to me. I called and begged the doc to consider changing my csection date from the 17 to the 15 . I still hold a grudge he refused cause he had a golf tourney that day.
 

meepitsmeagan

Meagan & The Cattle Dog Crew
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My "probably no children stance" is feeling VERY strong today. An old high school buddy of Josh's showed up on my newsfeed this evening. He's got a son with a girl who was still in high school. She is on his FB all the time with sappy lovey posts and tons of pictures of their kid. I looked through their photos for a while and now I have a headache.

Maybe we should make a "Do you want children? musing thread".

Anywho. Yeah.. totally sticking with dogs.
 

Dogdragoness

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My "probably no children stance" is feeling VERY strong today. An old high school buddy of Josh's showed up on my newsfeed this evening. He's got a son with a girl who was still in high school. She is on his FB all the time with sappy lovey posts and tons of pictures of their kid. I looked through their photos for a while and now I have a headache.

Maybe we should make a "Do you want children? musing thread".

Anywho. Yeah.. totally sticking with dogs.
Haha I can't help but wonder if that's what some people are thinking when I post "sappy" pics of my dogs / horses and me all over my news feed.
 

Jules

Magic, motherf@%$*#!
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I never did and now I do. Well, I have pcos so who knows.

I had an appointment with a fertility specialist and it's just daunting and scary.
 

jenv101

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I had no idea the discussion that was going on in here lol. Anyways just wanted to pop in and say Congrats to RTH - your wife sounds amazing and incredibly strong! My labor was not quite that long but I had 24 hrs of it going nowhere before finally kicking into high gear and it's exhausting. Midwives are so awesome.

I didn't have the option of a birthing center here (they are just now building/opening two in the province). I probably would have used that option if I had it, but because I didn't, I chose home birth. After having the whole experience I know for sure that had I been in a hospital setting (where I would have personally felt more stressed and lack of privacy etc) I probably would have needed more interventions and who knows how things would have gone. I am two blocks from the hospital/childrens hospital, but they also have a pretty high c-sec rate so I was happy with my decision. Personally it was best for me and a great experience. Motherhood is MUCH harder than labor and birth no matter what you choose!

I am not the 'crunchiest' person but a natural birth was very important to me, as well as breast feeding. Neither came easy though - babies do what they want and don't really care what your plans are lol.
 

jenv101

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I'm having my baby in a birthing center because I don't want to be added to the c-section statistics unless absolutely necessary. Over 33% women in the USA have c-sections.... that's 1 in every 3 births.

Back in 1965 the c-section rate was 4.5%. There is no reason that evolution has made women unable to deliver children naturally in less than 50 years.

From all of the research I've done, medical intervention (including induction, epidurals, pain meds via IV) increase the likelihood of needing a c-section. In most hospital settings, you labor on your back which goes completely against gravity.

At my birthing center, not a single women in the past couple of years has needed a c-section. The hospital is 800 feet away from the door, and only one baby (in years) needed to be rushed over to the NICU. Everyone is required to take natural birthing classes in order to learn calming techniques during labor. You can labor however you want, whether it's in a tub or with a birthing ball.

I'm not at all what you'd call a "crunchy" type. I am having my baby in a birthing center because I don't want a c-section unless it's absolutely necessary (not "necessary" according to a doctor who does them 33% of the time). I don't want to not "labor fast enough" and then have pitocin stuck in my IV. Speaking of IVs, I don't want an IV unless I actually need fluids.

I feel everyone who ends up having a c-section considers themselves "high risk" and it happened because it "had to." A third of the population of women having babies are NOT high risk... it's just not physically possible. There are major flaws in (most) hospital births that would need to be fixed before I would ever volunteer myself for a birth at one.

ETA: The USA has a higher rate of maternal deaths than many other developed countries with much lower c-section rates. For instance, Japan has a 17% c-section rate, but only 5/1000 woman die every year during birth versus 21/1000 for women in the USA. Iceland has a 15% c-section rate, and 5/1000 maternal deaths.
:thumbup:

The Netherlands also has a great system (using midwives as the main caregivers, only OBs when medically necessary) and much better percentages and outcomes than most developed countries.
 

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