I don't think there is anything wrong with occasionally dropping kids off at the grandparent's house and going out to get some 'me/us' time. If it was happening all the time, or if the grandparent's didn't like the responsibility that changes things. My parents dropped me and my brother off a couple times a month to go out on a date or out with friends or whatever. We are no worse off
And you know, I have a lot of sympathy for girls who get pregnant and now have to devote their entire lives to children they weren't ready for. I am 20, and I would be devastated if I got pregnant... I would have a hard time coming to terms with the idea that I couldn't go out as much with my friends anymore, couldn't relate to them nearly as well, couldn't roll home at 3 in the morning with the SO after a few drinks, etc... I don't think that makes me a bad person. And as for the whole "well you decided to have sex so now you need to lay in the bed you made", well that drives me bananas. At this point I don't want kids, maybe not ever. Does that mean that since I *could* get preggo, I should never have sex, possibly for my whole life?
Anyway, I am not saying it's ok to neglect or mistreat your children. That is NEVER ok. What I am trying to say is that I don't think it's fair to look down on people who accidentally got pregnant and aren't immediately thrilled about the whole parenting thing. It's also understandable, imo, that after having the baby, there will be a period of time where the mother and father have to adjust to having this new life... Which can be very, very hard. Dak I am not saying your friend's are like this, in fact I am sure you are right in that they are irresponsible. But, I just wanted to clarify that I don't think it is wrong or bad of people to not immediately be happy about having a baby, or about not immediately being an amazing parent.
At 20, a lot of people are really still kids themselves