Handling a Shy Dog – Tips for strangers

Handling a Shy Dog – Tips for strangers

Hi guys,
My dog is a wonderful addition to my life, who is very friendly and easy going…, with me. To others he is very shy and people seem to have a hard time grasping the concept of a dog that does not want to be petted. I am beyond frustrated with friends and family because no one seems to want to work with me to train him – they all just want to forcibly pet him to make him “get over itâ€.
So I had an idea to make a short note that I could post on my fridge or hand to new people in hopes that they will be more willing to move at his speed.
(Btw incase anyone is wondering, I do put him away when especially insistent (aka annoying) people come over, he is very friendly with my close friends (who have listened to me) and he is in regular obedience/agility classes to help gain his confidence.)
So here is my note. Any suggestions to make it clearer are very welcome, sorry it’s so long. Thank you!!!
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Socialization is a vital part of every puppy's education. Most people don't know how to behave around shy dogs and will unintentionally do all the wrong things. It's up to you to instruct them carefully how to act so they don’t scare your dog and undo your efforts at making them more sociable.
• If possible, ask them to sit on the floor--or even lie down!
• They must NOT look your dog in the eye--this is a challenge in dog language and will frighten your dog more.
• They should resist the urge to touch the dog. They should let the dog come to them. They may offer the dog a treat. The best way for them to do this is to hold it in their open palm and sit quietly, waiting for the dog to approach them.
• If the dog does approach them, they should resist the urge to try to touch the dog's head or neck. This is often construed as a threat by a shy dog, and will scare them. If they must pet the dog, ask the person to move their hand in from the side, and to touch the dog's shoulder or back.
• If, at any point, he shows uncertainty, go back to the previous step.
• You should be watching your dog carefully, praising each indication of interest and curiosity (positive reinforcement), and ignoring fearful reactions (extinguishing a behavior). It is also your responsibility to know when your dog has had enough and to break off the encounter.
• People have a natural tendency to want to control the situation and force the dog to get over their fear by cornering them, grabbing their collar or continuing to follow them around. This is the wrong way to handle a shy dog and will only make things worse.
• Explain to new people that your dog is shy and would prefer not to be touched. This is hard for most people to understand because they are used to friendly social dogs. If the person can not be in the same room as the dog while respecting your methods, put the dog away in it’s safe place. When s/he is spending these short time outs in the crate, ignore the dog. Although it is tempting to keep the dog with you and cuddle it all the time, be sure to give the dog his/her space and do not crowd it with your need to pamper.

It is very unsettling and stressful for these guys to go from a "nobody" to suddenly being the center of attention.

Yep - a lot of the time it's about training people not the dog. Good article.

I was wondering, how does your dog act when there are people around? My dog was very fearful as a puppy, socializing didn't help and she now reacts to people by barking. It's a very frustrating and uncontrollable situation. She does quiet down once people are sitting at the table.

Hi emc,
My dog "lurks". He wants to be included, but doesn't want people touching him. He finds a place to sit (normally against my legs) and as long as no one approaches him, he will relax.
If I were you I would put my dog in his crate/safe place until your company is settled and then let him out. He may feel less overwhelmed then seeing a sudden influx of strangers coming in the door, and then I would give him something to focus on like a stuffed kong.
Good luck, I know how frustrating it can be.

Anyone else have any other information I should include in my “poster”?

Good list.

Welcome btw.

One thing I do with a dog like that or a fear aggressive dog is for me to touch the other person i.e hold hands, touch their arm etc. This tells the dog that I accept this person and I trust them.

Another thing I do with people that don't want to listen to me..........I start touching their face (the person) without an invite and ask them when they tell me to stop that should 'get over it'. The point is usually taken.

Good luck.

Thanks adojrts!
LOL I love your plan B.
I wish I could do that to my grandfather. He has permanently destroyed any chance of having a relationship with my dog. He actually gets mad that my dog is getting more and more friendly with other family members/friends heck even strangers on the street - yet my dog wants nothing to do with him.
He just won’t listen and it would be totally unacceptable for me to shove my hands in his face – although I honestly don’t think it wouldn’t make a difference. He grew up with a dog that was taught using the old school dominance approach and anything “new age” spoils the dog.
Anywhoo that was a little bit of a side rant…haha
I will be posting my little flyer and I hope it makes people understand how to work with a shy dog so that they can apply it to mine and any other one they meet.
Cheers!