Having a bit of a problem..

Since it's been cold and we've all been indoors, I notice Addie becoming too possessive about EVERYTHING. She has never let Ham near the fireplace...no biggie cause he doesn't seem to care. She tries to take his food....no biggie cause he just lets her (LOOK OUT if he even looks like he is going near hers) In the evening we've been sitting on the bed watching tv...all has been well as long as Addie gets the 'prime' spot right in-between us. BUT...now she has decided Ham can't come on the bed at all....lots of growling and carrying on, and yesterday she even got snappy with me. She also has decided Ham cannot be in the kitchen if we are eating....this, luckily isn't always a problem cause he could care less about begging. My question...how do I handle this? I got so disturbed with her yesterday, I made them both get off the bed and did some yelling at her....should I be showing her I'm the boss?? I say yes, Dave has a tendency to want to make a fuss over her thinking she is upset...I'm worried that reinforces her behavior. She even snapped at him the other night. She is usually so sweet natured and docile........suddenly I have one nasty little girl on my hands! We make a huge fuss over both dogs, so I can't imagine she is feeling jealousy, or needing attention. Your thoughts?? I want to be sure I handle it properly. Thanks! This has been so irritating the past 2 days.....since she now doesn't even want Hammie on the bed...he just paces around the bed whining. Not a very relaxing situation at all.

Debi, I'm going to get back to you this evening with a nice, long Shiva story. We had some of the same behaviour with her a couple of weeks ago. I'm going to have to start dinner here in a bit and I'm afraid if I start and have to leave the computer for awhile it will drop out and I'll have to start all over. Our connection is doing crazy things in the cold weather.

Okay, here goes.

Kharma was in heat and poor Bimmer was going bonkers, so I took him with me most days since he was more contented curled up in the car with me or waiting for me than he was at home where he had to smell Kharma wearing his favorite perfume.

Shiva's favorite trip in the known world is to the feed store where I get the dog food. She knows where they keep the bones, she knows her way up and down the treat aisle to choose which type of cookies; she just considers it "her" trip.

Well, Bimmer and I went to get dog food one day.

We brought home three big knuckle bones, the dog food and a couple of bags of cookies.

Shiva was mightily PO'd. She was miffed. Her feelings were crushed. She'd missed "her trip!" But I didn't think about all that.

Shiva pouted all evening. She was a pain. She took all the bones and DARED Bimmer or Kharma to try to touch one. She gathered up all the toys. She gathered up all the blankets and layed on them on the sofa. If Bimmer or Kharma (depending on which one was inside at the time) came over to be petted Shiva bounded off the sofa and shoved them out of the way. If she thought I wasn't looking, she'd snarl her lip up at Bimmer or Kharma.

After we went to bed and I was almost asleep, I heard Shiva rifling through the kitchen. I got up, and sure enough, she was in the garbage. I got after her and told her to go back to bed. Thirty minutes later I heard a crash. She'd climbed on the counters and knocked some pans on the floor. I scolded her and sent her back to bed again. The third time, Shiva had dragged a box over to the refrigerator and was standing on it trying to reach the top of the fridge. She'd already emptied the garbage can all over the floor. I went ballistic! Three o'clock in the morning was NOT the time for this kind of foolishness. I yelled at her and shoved her out the front door (she hates going outside at night, especially by herself) while I cleaned up the mess.

I let her back in, made her climb up on the sofa, made her roll over on her back, got right in her face holding those big jowls so she had to look at me and started chewing her out. Oh, she understood exactly what was going on. You've never seen such a face! Then it dawned on my why she was being so rotten . . . her nose was out of joint and she was jealous because Bimmer went to the feed store! I gave her one last scold and asked her if she understood. She blinked those eyes, squeezed a couple of tears out and whined. Then I sat down next to her, told her she was better than that and I knew she could be a good girl. I told her I understood that her feelings were hurt because Bimmer got to go, but that she had to take turns and I would take her the next time. She sat up and draped that big head over my shoulder and stuck that snoot in my ear and whimpered a little bit until I put my arms around her neck and hugged her and told her I loved her and wanted her to be my good girl. Then she made one of her Wookie noises and looked at me and gave me a nose rub and a big yawn and followed me back to bed and layed down on the floor next to Bimmer, nuzzled him and slept for the rest of the night. When we got up the next morning she was her old lovable self.

Sometimes you just have to figure out what it is that's got their furry bloomers in a twist and have a heart-to-heart. From what you've told us about Addie, she doesn't seem like she appreciates any kind of change in her life at all, and she does seem to kind of enjoy torturing Hammie, doesn't she?

Thanks, Renee. I have been giving it lots of thought because it's so disruptive,and so not like Addie. Addie doesn't really like it in the house..I've said that many times, but she just never has. She tolerates it..or enjoys the 'visit' until about 9 at night, then she wants out. My thinking is...SHE rules the pen area. She decides which house she will sleep in, which feeding station..etc. If Ham doesn't follow her rules, you hear lots of yakking from her until he does. Ham follows because Addie is, and always has been alpha. Now....she has to be indoors when it's bitter cold. The first night or so was ok....but it seems to be she has taken over the house to rule, just like the pen. I don't usually butt in when she is bossing him about most things, but when she takes over to the point of defying me..complete with growling and snapping...I have to act now to stop it. Do I just keep standing up to her...putting her immediately in her place when she gets too possessive? Or, does that make it worse between the two dogs? I'm never going to tolerate bad behaviour such as snapping. Last night I let her between us, then I pulled Ham up onto the bed (he won't go against her...I'd love to know what she 'says' to him) I wanted to show her that I make the rules. It took forevahhhh...but they did both finally go to sleep. I just wasn't sure, because I've also read that I shouldn't be messing with the pack order..by yelling at her in front of Hammie. Hey....don't mean to make such a big deal.......I just strive for peace. LOL

You're not disturbing the pack order when you make her follow YOUR rules and share with her 'brother' so don't worry too much about that. The really important part of the pack order is that you and your husband are at the top.

You're on the right track - keep making her share with Hammie and don't let her always have her way; make them both lie down next to each other, then, when they've been that way for an interval of time (you're the best judge of how long they can stand it) praise them both - Addie first - and give them a reward.

It might help things if they had their own beds, like they have their own houses in the pen. Addie might feel like she has some control over something in her world that way. And don't forget those heart-to-hearts! Hammie may even need a few to soothe his ruffled feelings.

Now if we could just figure out how Addie does it. I wonder if it would work on men?