doggy excersises

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#1
You've seen those ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there's no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to get in shape now!!! The following exercises can (and will) be done anywhere, anytime.

Inner Thighs: Place the dog's favorite toy between thighs. Press tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged - dogs who favor shortcuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be damaged.

Upper Body Strength: Lift the dog - off the couch, off the bed, out of the flower bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat. As the dog ages, this exercise is reversed - onto the couch, onto the bed, into the car and so on.

Balance and Coordination: Exercise 1: Remove your puppy from unsuitable tight places. If they're too small for him, they're certainly too small for you. Do it anyway!

Exercise 2: Practice not falling when your dog bounds across the full length of the room, sails through the air, and slams both front paws into the back of your knees.

Exercise 3: (for use with multiple dogs) Remove all dogs from lap and answer the phone before it stops ringing.

Exercise 4: (alternate) For older dogs, attempt to cross a room without tripping over the dog. Get off your couch without crushing any part of a sleeping elderly dog.

Upper Arms: Throw the ball. Throw the squeaky toy. Throw the Frisbee. Repeat until nauseous.

Upper Arms: (alternate) Tug the rope. Tug the pull toy. Tug the sock. Repeat until your shoulder is dislocated or the dog gives up (we all know which comes first).

Hand Coordination: Remove foreign object from locked jaw. This exercise is especially popular with puppy owners. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Remember, this is a timed exercise. Movements must be quick and precise (think concert pianist) to prevent trips to the vet, which only offer the minimal exercise benefit of jaw firming clenches.

Calves: After the dog has worn out the rest of your body, hang a circular toy on your ankle and let the dog tug while you tug back. WARNING: This is feasible only for those with strong bone and small dogs. Have you taken your calcium supplement today?

Calves: (alternate) Run after dog - pick any reason, there are plenty. Dogs of any size can be used for this exercise. Greyhounds are inadvisable.

Neck Muscles: Attempt to outmaneuver the canine tongue headed for your ear, mouth, or eyeball. This is a lifelong fitness program. A dog is never too old or too feeble to "French Kiss" you when you least expect it!
 

Dakotah_2009

OOO YEA SHHHAKE IT!!
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#2
OMGosh those are so nice..maybe I should try those when I get my dog *wonders*
So funny thanks for sharing!
 

filarotten

Fila the love
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#3
That was so cute, and so very true. I am getting good at these exercises. Roxie being older, I practice my high stepping exercise as she does not move when comfortable. So far the cellulite has not been removed but I am working at it.I will have to start stepping back and forth over her. She won't mind I am sure. And the arm lifting excercise was used today to lift Brutus 64lbs. into the suv. As he won't even try to jump in. Actually I think I used every muscle. I am starting to feel every muscle that I used. He is going to have to learn to jump before long. I won't be able to lift him.
 

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