The Venting Thread

Dogdragoness

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He *may* have, but I doubt it. I didn't seek up on him or anything, he saw me walking towards him. I can put my hand in his bowl, take his bowl away, touch him, etc., when he eats and if I tell him to get back from the dish he does, but apparently scooting the dish is a no-go and I get growled at?

Regardless, it's not acceptable purely for instances like today where I just want to scoot his dish out of the middle of the walk path. Guess we'll be going to the basics of "human approaches dish, human moves dish, tasty treats rain from the sky" type things.

He has gone after Histamine before if she approaches him while he's eating. :/ Don't know how to put a stop to that. He doesn't care about Cynder because he knows she won't try to eat his food, but Histamine is an idiot and tries to stick her face into his bowl, so he'll snap at her if she's near him while he eats.

I'm just a bit boggled that he's defensive over his food dish, but he can chew on a bone or stuffed Kong and we can take it away and animals can be practically on top of him and he doesn't care. Guess that's a good thing, though, and I won't question it.
That is normal behavior though and I don't see why people think it's unacceptable. My folks have a dog like that, she has a bad temperament and no amount of training will fix it, so we just ignored her and it got better. The dogs are fed where they can't get to each other so I don't worry about them having to be protective of their food ... maybe feed him in a room by himself?
 

pinkspore

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It is 2am and I have to be at work at 6:30, so naturally I am sitting up with the worst acid reflux on the planet. Too much raw celery and apples this week, and the undigested fiber is backed up into my esophagus. It is literally a sponge soaked in stomach acid, just sitting there burning away. No antacid in the world is strong enough for this.
 

*blackrose

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That is normal behavior though and I don't see why people think it's unacceptable. My folks have a dog like that, she has a bad temperament and no amount of training will fix it, so we just ignored her and it got better. The dogs are fed where they can't get to each other so I don't worry about them having to be protective of their food ... maybe feed him in a room by himself?
Eh, the snapping at the cat I'm actually not too fussed about. If a dog wants to growl and warn off another animal from its food, by all means. Now, straight up attacking, no. Warning off, fine. I don't mind as long as it doesn't escalate.

I have a huge problem that he growled at me. He should understand that I, or any other person, is not going to eat his food, and scooting his bowl three feet across the floor does not constitute an attack on his meal. If it comes down to it, I don't mind feeding him outside or whatever, but I'd rather address the issue and have him understand that human trumps food bowl any day, any time. He's been having issues with scarfing down his meal, anyway, and I worry that his entire frame if mind while eating is one of "eat all the food super fast so it's MINE", which is silly, because aside from the cat approaching him a total of two times, he's never once had to be remotely defensive about his food.
 

Dizzy

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Abrams is apparently food aggressive. He was eating his dinner and I scooted his bowl to the correct spot with my foot and I got growled at. Dumb ass dog. Guess we'll be doing a lot of food-eating exercises.

At least he's not treat/bone/toy possessive?
Honestly none of my dogs are overly possessive with me (they growl at each other harmlessly at times). But I'm certain Bodhi has given me the odd growl once upon a time. I get all bossy when that happens, and actually will be very firm.... Like ooooh no you bloody well don't, take whatever it is anyway, then usually give it straight back to her (I don't want her to think I'm a food thief, just that I can touch her stuff and actually it makes no difference as she gets it back anyway). I always tell the dogs it's my stuff and I'm just lending it to them lol.

But I generally don't interfere with their food, I wouldn't want someone doing that to me, and I might snap too ;)

Try hand feeding for awhile maybe?
 

*blackrose

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Honestly none of my dogs are overly possessive with me (they growl at each other harmlessly at times). But I'm certain Bodhi has given me the odd growl once upon a time. I get all bossy when that happens, and actually will be very firm.... Like ooooh no you bloody well don't, take whatever it is anyway, then usually give it straight back to her (I don't want her to think I'm a food thief, just that I can touch her stuff and actually it makes no difference as she gets it back anyway). I always tell the dogs it's my stuff and I'm just lending it to them lol.

But I generally don't interfere with their food, I wouldn't want someone doing that to me, and I might snap too ;)

Try hand feeding for awhile maybe?
Today I just stood by him while he ate, had my foot holding the dish (so it wouldn't scoot everywhere), and was only giving him portions at a time. He'd be finishing up about a 1/4 cup and I'd dump another 1/4 cup in. No issues what so ever. *shrugs* So at least it seems to be an isolated incident and not something I was just blatantly overlooking. We'll do that for a few more feedings just in case and then go from there.

I really need to break down and spend the money to buy a food dispensing toy, like a Wobbler. That way feeding time becomes less of a, "BOWL FULL OF NOMS MUST EAT NOW!" and more of a "Ooooh, puzzle toy, fun!"
 
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Beanie

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Today I just stood by him while he ate, had my foot holding the dish (so it wouldn't scoot everywhere), and was only giving him portions at a time. He'd be finishing up about a 1/4 cup and I'd dump another 1/4 cup in. No issues what so ever. *shrugs* So at least it seems to be an isolated incident and not something I was just blatantly overlooking. We'll do that for a few more feedings just in case.
I think since he goes at the cat, it's definitely possible he thought it was the cat rather than actually intending to growl at you. I wouldn't be overly concerned about it but better to do something now rather than wait until he does it again or seeing if it gets worse.



This morning my co-worker got here before me but didn't even bother to get out of her car and try to unlock the door since there's major "how unlock door?" going on.
And the other co-worker is having trouble figuring out how to do something and I'm just sitting here being very busy not doing it for him. Nope... everybody here needs to learn how to bail themselves out. I will help you. But I will not do it FOR you. I'm done. Too bad. Whomp whomp.
 

*blackrose

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I'm currently on shut down everything so you can't feel anything mode.

Had to euthanize my rat. Just got a call that Michael's grandmother probably won't make it to the end of the week. And Michael just dropped the bomb on me that we may need to legally accept his mother as a dependant and have her live with us.

Cannot process it all. Just want to sit somewhere and cry. The ****, world? Or maybe it should be **** the world. Who cares.

I miss my siblings. I miss my family. I miss the midwest.

I need a drink. Maybe 10.
 

Melle

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I'm currently on shut down everything so you can't feel anything mode.

Had to euthanize my rat. Just got a call that Michael's grandmother probably won't make it to the end of the week. And Michael just dropped the bomb on me that we may need to legally accept his mother as a dependant and have her live with us.

Cannot process it all. Just want to sit somewhere and cry. The ****, world? Or maybe it should be **** the world. Who cares.

I miss my siblings. I miss my family. I miss the midwest.

I need a drink. Maybe 10.
I'm so sorry (((HUGS)))
 

Red.Apricot

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I thought I was getting my permanent crown today, but it's another temporary. Now it's been four weeks since I got the first temporary, and it will be another three before I get the permanent.

I'm very frustrated with work--it will be over Saturday evening but right now that doesn't help.

I wanted so badly to go to obed. class today but it looks like I don't get to.

I picked a fight with my boyfriend and he was nice about it.

Crying. :/
 

Taqroy

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blackrose, so many (((hugs))). This though?

And Michael just dropped the bomb on me that we may need to legally accept his mother as a dependant and have her live with us.


Can you look into social services? I don't know the whole story here but adult social services are totally a thing and they're FOR these situations, where adults can't take care of themselves.
 
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I used up my last sick day at work a couple weeks ago due to a horrible migraine.

So of course yesterday I come down with the cold from hell...So YAY for working retail while feeling like death. Good times!
 

*blackrose

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blackrose, so many (((hugs))). This though?





Can you look into social services? I don't know the whole story here but adult social services are totally a thing and they're FOR these situations, where adults can't take care of themselves.
We will certainly look in to it.

The entire situation is just so ****** up. I just....I don't even know. Essentially, her mental illness is to the point she cannot find a job. And she would just as soon have herself be homeless or quite possibly kill herself than admit that her mental illness has anything to do with anything. She will not help herself. She is a very nice woman who is doing what she can, but she refuses to get help. She will not accept help from anyone but Michael, due to whatever weird wiring her anxiety has caused her brain. Michael is at his wits end trying to figure out how to keep her healthy and safe while not irrevocably cutting ties with her.

I told him I could not handle her living with us. Period. Not now, not with our current situation/housing. Which I think he accepted. I don't want to put him in a position of her or me, but I just couldn't cope of she were living with us. Which may make me selfish, but by god, then so be it.

I'm trying to figure how how to best broach the, "Are you insane, we cannot afford to support your mother" talk. Especially when if we don't, she may end up in a downward spiral. Ugh.
 
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stardogs

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We will certainly look in to it.

The entire situation is just so ****** up. I just....I don't even know. Essentially, her mental illness is to the point she cannot find a job. And she would just as soon have herself be homeless or quite possibly kill herself than admit that her mental illness has anything to do with anything. She will not help herself. She is a very nice woman who is doing what she can, but she refuses to get help. She will not accept help from anyone but Michael, due to whatever weird wiring her anxiety has caused her brain. Michael is at his wits end trying to figure out how to keep her healthy and safe while not irrevocably cutting ties with her.

I told him I could not handle her living with us. Period. Not now, not with our current situation/housing. Which I think he accepted. I don't want to put him in a position of her or me, but I just couldn't cope of she were living with us. Which may make me selfish, but by god, then so be it.

I'm trying to figure how how to best broach the, "Are you insane, we cannot afford to support your mother" talk. Especially when if we don't, she may end up in a downward spiral. Ugh.
It sucks. We thought we might be in a similar position with my MIL (and 13yo BIL) a few months ago, just sans the mental illness part. We loaned her a significant amount of money and she ended up not being honest with us about how bad things were (the loan did not solve anything as it was just a drop in the bucket). Her landlord told us the real situation and DH gave her an ultimatum. Thankfully she seems to have stepped up, but if she hadn't, we'd likely be housing a 13yo boy right now. It's really frustrating.

We had the 'we can't afford to support someone else 100%' talk and came to the conclusion that is much as it would suck, we had done what we could and would be a safety net for DH's brother, but his mom would need to find her own way out. :\
 

JazzyTheSibe

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I'm currently on shut down everything so you can't feel anything mode.

Had to euthanize my rat. Just got a call that Michael's grandmother probably won't make it to the end of the week. And Michael just dropped the bomb on me that we may need to legally accept his mother as a dependant and have her live with us.

Cannot process it all. Just want to sit somewhere and cry. The ****, world? Or maybe it should be **** the world. Who cares.

I miss my siblings. I miss my family. I miss the midwest.

I need a drink. Maybe 10.
(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry.
 

Southpaw

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We're having an open house at work on Saturday and it's irritating me because this is supposed to be my weekend off. :( It's scheduled from 1-4, but we all have to be there by 11:30 to help set up... and obviously we're going to be there after cleaning up. Soooo basically my Saturday is devoted to this which is even worse than if it was just a normal Saturday shift.

I shouldn't let it bug me but it DOES gosh darn it because it's my day off! I want to go shopping and go to the park with my dogs! I like to have 0 commitments on weekends! And I hate interacting with the public, this is exhausting me just thinking about it. Argh.
 

joce

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I'm currently on shut down everything so you can't feel anything mode.

Had to euthanize my rat. Just got a call that Michael's grandmother probably won't make it to the end of the week. And Michael just dropped the bomb on me that we may need to legally accept his mother as a dependant and have her live with us.

Cannot process it all. Just want to sit somewhere and cry. The ****, world? Or maybe it should be **** the world. Who cares.

I miss my siblings. I miss my family. I miss the midwest.

I need a drink. Maybe 10.
There are options with his mom. There are volunteer guardians and if she is bad enough to have to live with you she should be able to meet nursing home placement. Otherwise it will be years of her living there. Maybe I thinking of someone else but think this has been an issue? We deal with this all the time at work so just ask if any questions!
And just read your next post- never take her in. There are behavioral health nursing homes if she can not handle herself. If she threatens suicide call 911 and have her admitted to hospital and eventually they will get her there. Keep pushing for them to have a dr write an expert eval for a volunteer guardian. And this is a situation where you need to stand up and say no.
 

GipsyQueen

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Oh man, today is the last day of our vacation, and I'm sick. I felt off on Wednesday - felt ok. Yesterday, but today I just feel crappy and gross. I'm also afraid the flight tomorrow won't be very pleasant because I'm all stuffed up and have problems with pressure even without a cold :(
 

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