Sometimes I Feel Terrible

Reading what happen to Binn, sometimes I too, feel like I failed on Didi. I see owners go at wit and world's end for their dogs when their dog is in need of medical help. And I feel that I didn't. Even though I did look around to find least expensive alternatives, I feel like sometimes I didn't look HARD ENOUGH. Although it was a VERY hard lesson learned, I'm now saving up money for my current dogs to have pet insurance incase of any illness or emergencies. I'm glad she's not suffering anymore, but I feel terrible that she still could of been alive let it be for if I had the money.

I see dogs on here who have survived glaucoma and blindness, and I wish that would of been Didi too. That I would be posting pictures of Didi after the sugery one day, with her e-collar, and her having no eyes, but still living and still beinging the cute sweet girl I once held in my hands not so long ago. My other option in my selfishness of keeping her alive for a few more years was a rescue, but knowing her aggressive side, I knew she would of been pts anyways. But atleast for the time beinging I had her, she was loved and had what I think was a good life, prior to her illness.

I also feel terrible about that day. I gave her kfc, gave her a walk, and she went on a car ride and I let her stick out her head out the window [she loved that]. Though her last moments were good, my LAST memory of her was awful. As I handed her to the vet, she got scared and let out a little yelp. I started petting her some and she calmed dog. But that just was heartbreaking. I also wasn't there when the procedure was beinging done. I didn't feel like I could watch her die. But I feel horrible that I let her die in a stranger's arm. I also didn't get a private cremenation [sp?]....as I couldn't afford it. She was cremenated, but with a group of other dogs, and who knows where her ashes are. I regret that alot.

You aren't a bad person because you CARE. You did what you could for Didi.

Please don't beat yourself up and remember the bad things ........Many of us have said " I wish I had " or " I wish I hadn't " . Remember that a mistake makes us grow . Read back over what you wrote . There are more positive things than negative . You now know what you want to do when these things come up again ,,,,and sadly they will . I feel sorry for those who do not have a dog because of the pain from losing one . Twelve years of love - more or less - greatly outweighs the end . We really don't grieve for the dog..... we grieve for ourselves and our loss . (((( Hugs )))) from Grammy .

Thanks you guys, that meant alot. I try not to think negative, but sometimes I just cry sleep myself to sleep thinking about this and one day I hope I just cry because of a good memory I shared with her and not of her not beinging here.

Don't feel bad, there will always be what if's

what if I had just looked for him properly
what if I had not gone "he'll come home, he always does"
what if I had used my brain and checked what the dogs were looking at woudl he still be here?

You can only do what you can, Didi will love you for what you did do, not dislike you because of the things you didn't do.

Without being mean or anything. This is why people should only have the number of pets they can afford to give proper care to. If that means one, then keep only one. But at least it is kept at a high quality of life.

With regards to her last moments. She went knowing you loved her. Don't worry about her being scared. Once she was released from the pain, all was well.

Thank you. I understand what you'r saying. When Didi got ill, it was just her and Pepe. Although if I still just had Didi, I doubt it I would of had the money for it. The finacial [sp?] would still be the same, because the matter of the fact was I wasn't thinking about expenses in the future [for ANY dog I had], just present [like vaccinations, food, ect], not if a dog were to get sick. When we got the Princesses, it wasn't really taking away from Didi's sugery [but we did pulled off vaccinations for them], because I just spent less on ME [clothes, ect]. But sometimes though some illness [not in Didi's case, but still] are too much even for the average dog owner with one dog. Even with the new puppies, before we would of start needing money for them [or we could of had the new owners pay for the shots], it would still be even more months before we would of had the money for Didi, and more months of her suffering.