I hate bimbos
- Thread starter StephyMei1112
- Start date
I don't see how it's being misinterpreted. Stephy said she has nothing against being content or life going well, but "happy happy happy" makes her cringe. If I'm ever "just content," I will certainly change things to be happy again!
This is the definition of the word "bimbo":
I don't understand how being happy and perky can be classified under a derogatory word.
This is the definition of the word "bimbo":
I don't understand how being happy and perky can be classified under a derogatory word.
Word choice aside, I do see what Stephy is saying.
There are people I've met who, not through some amazing coping skill, but more of some kind of learned avoidance, completely and utterly dodge acknowledging any kind of negativity in the world.
It's not the cheerfulness itself that bothers me. Overall, I'm a pretty cheerful and content person. It's the "LA LA LA, I CAN'T SEE THAT" that's bothersome. Happy or not, some aspects of the world needs to be acknowledged, and totally ignoring its existence isn't particularly healthy.
Encouraging or not, people like to feel like their trials are being acknowledged rather than have them minimized by someone who who's like, "Fa la la, you should just be happy like me, because bad things don't exist an here's a peppy quote." Every. Single. Time.
Yes it's wonderful (and usually helpful) to be encouraging. Sometimes people don't want or need a pep talk. Sometimes it's not appropriate. Sometimes all people need is for someone to say, "hey man, I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time." And it is possible to be encouraging while still being sympathetic.
I do think it's good to be positive. I do think it's healthy to have a positive outlook. I don't think it's healthy for people to put their fingers in their ears and pretend sad things don't happen or exist. It might be a kind of coping skill, but it's not necessarily the healthiest, and I do understand how that can make someone look oblivious in either a deliberate or a "dumb" way. People are built to feel a range of emotions, and being unable or unwilling to get out of one extreme and feel the other doesn't strike me as healthy whether it's happy or sad.
There are people I've met who, not through some amazing coping skill, but more of some kind of learned avoidance, completely and utterly dodge acknowledging any kind of negativity in the world.
It's not the cheerfulness itself that bothers me. Overall, I'm a pretty cheerful and content person. It's the "LA LA LA, I CAN'T SEE THAT" that's bothersome. Happy or not, some aspects of the world needs to be acknowledged, and totally ignoring its existence isn't particularly healthy.
Encouraging or not, people like to feel like their trials are being acknowledged rather than have them minimized by someone who who's like, "Fa la la, you should just be happy like me, because bad things don't exist an here's a peppy quote." Every. Single. Time.
Yes it's wonderful (and usually helpful) to be encouraging. Sometimes people don't want or need a pep talk. Sometimes it's not appropriate. Sometimes all people need is for someone to say, "hey man, I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time." And it is possible to be encouraging while still being sympathetic.
I do think it's good to be positive. I do think it's healthy to have a positive outlook. I don't think it's healthy for people to put their fingers in their ears and pretend sad things don't happen or exist. It might be a kind of coping skill, but it's not necessarily the healthiest, and I do understand how that can make someone look oblivious in either a deliberate or a "dumb" way. People are built to feel a range of emotions, and being unable or unwilling to get out of one extreme and feel the other doesn't strike me as healthy whether it's happy or sad.
I think it's presumptuous and ignorant to think we know what is going on in these "happy" people's minds.
You're happy so you A)can't cope or B) have never seen real troubles.
Am I missing something?
I should add what makes you think these people have no range? Maybe they don't feel so self centered they need to bring everyone else down with their issues? Maybe they are optimistic? Maybe they choose to internalize because that is how they cope?
Just because someone isn't like you doesn't make them any less intelligent nor in touch with their reality and or ability to cope.
Does it suck? Yep. Does my other half hate his condition? Yep. Does he feel like its important to dwell? Hell no, so many have it so worse, he can walk, he can play fetch with his dog, he can work, why not enjoy life?
Why dwell on the negative? Why not put a positive spin on things? The world needs more realistic optimism if you ask me.
You're happy so you A)can't cope or B) have never seen real troubles.
Am I missing something?
I should add what makes you think these people have no range? Maybe they don't feel so self centered they need to bring everyone else down with their issues? Maybe they are optimistic? Maybe they choose to internalize because that is how they cope?
Just because someone isn't like you doesn't make them any less intelligent nor in touch with their reality and or ability to cope.
Does it suck? Yep. Does my other half hate his condition? Yep. Does he feel like its important to dwell? Hell no, so many have it so worse, he can walk, he can play fetch with his dog, he can work, why not enjoy life?
Why dwell on the negative? Why not put a positive spin on things? The world needs more realistic optimism if you ask me.
Not sure if it's directed at me, but I'm not presuming to know anything about these people.
Just saying that I understand how that behavior can make others feel unacknowledged and minimized when they're struggling with difficult circumstances, and how that person can appear to be not so bright if it's the only behavior they offer regardless of the circumstances.
Then observing that if the reason they do it is because they're unable to acknowledge bad stuff for some reason, then no it isn't healthy. I have no idea if any of the individual people I know are like that. I'm not in their heads. Just saying, being stuck in one emotional position isn't healthy, whether you've got clinical depression or are in major denial.
Just saying that I understand how that behavior can make others feel unacknowledged and minimized when they're struggling with difficult circumstances, and how that person can appear to be not so bright if it's the only behavior they offer regardless of the circumstances.
Then observing that if the reason they do it is because they're unable to acknowledge bad stuff for some reason, then no it isn't healthy. I have no idea if any of the individual people I know are like that. I'm not in their heads. Just saying, being stuck in one emotional position isn't healthy, whether you've got clinical depression or are in major denial.
I know some people do completely live in their own little world and isolate everything but happy feelings. They are odd people, certainly not "normal" happy folks, in fact I think they're quite troubled in their own way if they use a facade of happiness to avoid dealing with any adversities.
I don't think the OP was talking about the mentally ill, though. I think she was talking about people who present a perpetually happy exterior to the world.
I don't think the OP was talking about the mentally ill, though. I think she was talking about people who present a perpetually happy exterior to the world.
I think people generally try to help others by using what works for them.
For me, if I'm angry or upset, I don't like being ignored- I want someone to talk to me to make me feel better! For instance, if I'm upset about something a friend said and I go up to my bedroom to lay down, I WANT my husband to come upstairs and make me feel better!
How am I to know what makes YOU (a general you, lol) feel better? If pep talks make me feel better and I give one to someone who is upset, I'm not doing it out of spite or to make them feel worse. I am doing it because it makes ME feel better when I'm sad!
For me, if I'm angry or upset, I don't like being ignored- I want someone to talk to me to make me feel better! For instance, if I'm upset about something a friend said and I go up to my bedroom to lay down, I WANT my husband to come upstairs and make me feel better!
How am I to know what makes YOU (a general you, lol) feel better? If pep talks make me feel better and I give one to someone who is upset, I'm not doing it out of spite or to make them feel worse. I am doing it because it makes ME feel better when I'm sad!
So if people don't dwell with you on your stuff and commiserate (even though they probably have plenty themselves but you may be too wrapped up to notice) they are bimbos?
It's very possible these bimbos are far smarter than the OP thinks and they have no need for someone who'll bad mouth them the minute they disappoint.
It's very possible these bimbos are far smarter than the OP thinks and they have no need for someone who'll bad mouth them the minute they disappoint.
In general, the vast majority of people like to be acknowledged though. It's really easy to acknowledge that someone is in a difficult situation, even while you retain a great attitude and talk to them. That can be really helpful for a lot of people. But someone who pretends that bad things don't exist can't do that. Because bad things don't exist. Therefore, bad things happening to other people don't exist and they're feeling crummy for no reason. There's where the irritation comes from.
This. I also don't think it's the case of every happy person. But people who don't let themselves feel anything negative, well, I don't think it's healthy. It's alright to feel sad or to cry sometimes.
All this is reminding me of that Buffy storyline with the avatars. All those artificially happy people who don't care when people die because they are 'in a better place'. That's pretty much the same way I see a lot of the super happy people. It just doesn't seem very natural/healthy to me.
Doberluv, Phoebe is awesome. But she gets sad and stuff too. So, she's more 'normal' to me.
I don't really like how all the happy people seem to think less of people who are more negative though. It's one of those 'I'm better than you because I'm happy' attitudes that makes me kinda cringe. I mean, really, does it make you feel better to say things as 'I feel sorry for people who not only lack such amazing coping skills but also find the need to degrade those who have them'? Is it the sort of things that make you feel happy? Because it's actually really sad to feel this way. People don't choose to be unhappy or be hurt/feel bad when others throw their own happiness at their face. I guess it's one of the things that will never make me totally happy, personally I don't enjoy seeing people suffer and I have a hard time being happy (grateful, yes, happy, no) when my friends are in a hard spot.
All this is reminding me of that Buffy storyline with the avatars. All those artificially happy people who don't care when people die because they are 'in a better place'. That's pretty much the same way I see a lot of the super happy people. It just doesn't seem very natural/healthy to me.
Doberluv, Phoebe is awesome. But she gets sad and stuff too. So, she's more 'normal' to me.
I don't really like how all the happy people seem to think less of people who are more negative though. It's one of those 'I'm better than you because I'm happy' attitudes that makes me kinda cringe. I mean, really, does it make you feel better to say things as 'I feel sorry for people who not only lack such amazing coping skills but also find the need to degrade those who have them'? Is it the sort of things that make you feel happy? Because it's actually really sad to feel this way. People don't choose to be unhappy or be hurt/feel bad when others throw their own happiness at their face. I guess it's one of the things that will never make me totally happy, personally I don't enjoy seeing people suffer and I have a hard time being happy (grateful, yes, happy, no) when my friends are in a hard spot.
Why do you need to acknowlege that someone is in a difficult situation? They already KNOW that... why dwell on it. If a friend is getting a divorce, I don't want to be like "oh yeah, your divorce sucks and your husband sucks and your situation is awful." WHY not bring them a little bit of cheer and happiness? I'd rather have someone send me a youtube video of a walrus rather than have them remind me of whatever crappy situation I'm going through.
