Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)

Fran27

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My advice for first coming home:

Make it clear to people who offer help that YOU need to bond with the baby and THEY can help by doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. I had lots of "help" but the help was all "I'll hold the baby while you eat/clean/cook/etc". Next time I'll be like "nahhhh, I'LL hold the baby and YOU'LL cook".
SO MUCH THIS. Or my MIL would help by putting all the clean silverware on the dirty counter so I had to wash it all over again. It was so awful. My 30th birthday was the worst day ever, people came over to see the babies, I don't even remember getting a cake or even less presents, and we had to entertain them and make them dinner, when the kids were not even 2 months old and I was so sleep deprived and stressed out already. I just wanted to yell at everyone to get the **** out.
 

stardogs

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I know plans can change, but you guys aren't the first to mention the issue with other people 'helping' so I've tentatively written down 'no visitors for at LEAST 2 weeks, possibly a month' and that everyone will need to come to us as we are NOT driving 12 hours one way with a newborn. I could totally see my in laws thinking that we'd go up there. NOPE. And anyone who comes down here is going to be staying in a hotel, no exceptions.
 

joce

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I didn't really want anyone around. Heck I had a c-section and my husband only stayed home two days. I think it's very different for everyone though as my SIL had her husband stay home three weeks and wanted all kinds of people around and did not like being alone.

For me my biggest thing was being upset breast feeding wasn't working. I did so much to try to increase my supply and then pump and all it did was take time away from Case. I think it tired me out much more than caring for him. I think next time I will go into it knowing it will work or it won't and I'm not gonna stress over it.

Visitors were limited at the hospital and home the first week because of the horrible snow and cold we had! Perfect timing lol!
 

sparks19

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My MIL cleaned my entire house while we were in the hospital!!! It was great lol. It was nice having her there because it got lonely sometimes at the NICU, especially when I would have to go pump. I am not shy so after the first few times I told her i didn't mind her being there
If she didn't mind lol. She would go get me lunch, etc during the long hours at the NICU. Brian was back to
Work so without her I wouldn't have been able to get to the nicu to soend the days with Hannah.

My mom came the day before we got to bring Hannah home. My mom is very helpful around my house so it was a huge help to have her around and kept me from being lonely since i didn't drive yet.

But we were
Really out and about right from the start
 

~Jessie~

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Congrats!!! You and your daughter are adorable! Is she excited about having a baby sister?

Dizzy, I love your baby's profile! So cute! It's amazing how they look like actual little humans ;)

I would never want to deal with annoying or overbearing visitors. I went into labor at 7pm on a Thursday and my mom was with us at 8am the next morning. I was SO thankful to have my mom with us from that point until the day after I was home from the hospital. My mom is my best friend (besides my hubby!) and a major source of support for me. She took care of our dogs and spent every night at our house. She also cooked us a bunch of food which made coming home a lot easier.

I was in the hospital for 3 nights after having Nora, and enjoyed having a few visitors. We just made sure to have ground rules- since I was getting the hang of nursing, no one (besides hubby or my mom) was allowed in our room while I was feeding. We had a couple of our best friends over at the hospital, and there was one point where people had to wait until I was done nursing to come into our room.

When we were home, we had a couple more friends visit, but they were short (less than 30 minutes) and on our own terms.

Most of my relatives live out of state, so it made it easier to not have to deal with anyone annoying us. I LOVED having people come by to talk to, but again, they were some of our best friends who we spent a lot of time with during the pregnancy and I couldn't have imagined them not being there once Nora was born :)
 

Dizzy

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Oooooh I get the photo LOL!!!!!! doh!!!!! Exciting :D

This baby had found its feet. 21 weeks today and people can feel it kicking from the outside now :D
 

DJEtzel

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Jules

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Jessie, you look awesome! I wish I would have looked like that pre-pregnancy ;):eek: Nora is adorable... she just looks like such a happy baby!


I am in the middle of week 19.. we have our big ultrasound appointment in a week and a half.... and time just seems to be crawling soooo slowly. I want to be confident enough to start planning some of the things, thinking about the nursery and such... but I just can't do it.

We went out with neighbors last night for movie and dinner, and it was lovely until I got drilled where we would register, when I would have the baby shower, etc. I just can't think about these things. We have been trying to conceive for so long... I've been to so many sad baby showers, glanced jealously at so many pregnant women... I am still not sure if I am making this whole pregnancy thing up or not because it seems so unreal. It probably doesn't help that I don't and have not felt sick, no weird cravings, I have barely gained any weight yet (I do have a bump, though).

Yesterday I saw a pregnant lady while grocery shopping and my stomach immediately sank and I went to go the other way until it dawned on me that I shouldn't feel sad - I am pregnant, too! So Babies'r'us and such stores just send me back to all those times I picked up things from someone else's registry... I just don't want to do it and I can't shake it. And nobody seems to understand.
 

Barbara!

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Wow! I haven't posted in a lonnnng time. All the people who were pregnant last time I was on now have growing babies! Congrats to all of you.

Ryland is 13 months old now. I'm single and going to school full time, working part time in Dallas. Going along great. Most recent photo I have of him:

 

milos_mommy

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Jules, I felt the same way. Even though Lillian was unplanned and I hadn't tried, after 2 miscarriages and with endometriosis it seemed unreal. I didn't tell anyone until I was like 5 months pregnant. I refused to buy baby things until around 7 or 8 months.
 

Taqroy

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Yesterday I saw a pregnant lady while grocery shopping and my stomach immediately sank and I went to go the other way until it dawned on me that I shouldn't feel sad - I am pregnant, too! So Babies'r'us and such stores just send me back to all those times I picked up things from someone else's registry... I just don't want to do it and I can't shake it. And nobody seems to understand.
(((((hugs))))) That would be so so hard. Have you considered talking to someone? I went to a therapist after miscarrying and I honestly think she saved my marriage. Pregnancy is hard and the hormones and feelings around all of it (including prior losses or infertility issues) make it infinitely more difficult.

If it helps though - I didn't have any cravings either. Have you felt the baby moving yet? That's when it got real for me (and then real annoying as she spent a good majority of her time crammed inside my rib cage having a dance party).
 

~Jessie~

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Jessie, you look awesome! I wish I would have looked like that pre-pregnancy ;):eek: Nora is adorable... she just looks like such a happy baby!


I am in the middle of week 19.. we have our big ultrasound appointment in a week and a half.... and time just seems to be crawling soooo slowly. I want to be confident enough to start planning some of the things, thinking about the nursery and such... but I just can't do it.

We went out with neighbors last night for movie and dinner, and it was lovely until I got drilled where we would register, when I would have the baby shower, etc. I just can't think about these things. We have been trying to conceive for so long... I've been to so many sad baby showers, glanced jealously at so many pregnant women... I am still not sure if I am making this whole pregnancy thing up or not because it seems so unreal. It probably doesn't help that I don't and have not felt sick, no weird cravings, I have barely gained any weight yet (I do have a bump, though).

Yesterday I saw a pregnant lady while grocery shopping and my stomach immediately sank and I went to go the other way until it dawned on me that I shouldn't feel sad - I am pregnant, too! So Babies'r'us and such stores just send me back to all those times I picked up things from someone else's registry... I just don't want to do it and I can't shake it. And nobody seems to understand.
I completely understand. I had a hard time being confident about my pregnancy as well. In the beginning, I told myself I'd be comfortable once I hit 12 weeks... then once I hit 12 weeks I still wasn't, so I thought by 20 weeks I'd definitely be comfortable, and once I hit that I was still nervous about potential loss... and I was nervous up until I delivered. I always felt like being "more" pregnant would make me less fearful- I wish that I stopped and enjoyed my entire pregnancy because I LOVED being pregnant besides fearing the tiny tiny chance of something potentially going wrong.

I guess I felt that it was such a fluke that I was actually pregnant and it wasn't going to last. I had a chemical pregnancy in the past, so I went through the excitement of getting a positive result and then having it go away.

Even when we decorated her nursery when I was 8 months along, I still couldn't shake the feeling. I felt the more stuff I bought or did would make the pain of a loss even higher because then it would be more "real."

So... my advice would be to try to relax and realize the chance of everything going smoothly is WAY WAY WAY higher than something going wrong. You've already made it 19 weeks and there's no reason that you won't have a beautiful baby at the end. The worrying really takes away from the enjoyment of the moment.
 

stardogs

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Nice belly shot! Are you doing any photo documenting of your bump as it grows/changes? It's something I'd love to do when I'm preggers I think.

So, you know how I mentioned that DH was suddenly thinking we needed to wait a while? Well he recalculated a few things and it looks like we are looking at TTC starting in February. :) Excited/terrified.

The really neat thing is that he's mentioned a bit of parental desire for the second time ever while we were chatting - very cool to hear. :) And he already bought a book on fatherhood. lol
 

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