Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)

I think a donation that plants a tree in her honor is a great idea.

I'm taking Obi to our first dock dogs competition tomorrow. My mom is watching Everleigh. This is the first time I've been away from her for a day by choice. I know she will be fine and she's good with my mom but I'm feeling super guilty.

Someone tell me that it's good for her to spend time with someone else. We are together 24/7 and I hate being away from her but I really need friends and a hobby so that she doesn't grow up thinking her mom is an antisocial loser.

Grandma time is the best, Allison. Just ask Winnie. She'll be telling you all about how awesome nana is soon.

Unrelated, but those of you who don't celebrate Christmas, how do you explain to your children why in a way that they understand, and how do you keep them from ruining other kids' beliefs about Santa etc? This year Winnie is old enough to understand and also old enough that she has friends who DO understand and celebrate. I just don't want her to put any kid in a position to doubt what their parents have told them, especially as young as they are.

Maybe you could borrow some books about all the different ways people celebrate the holiday around the world and then at the end explain the special way you guys celebrate? ("We celebrate togetherness every day, not just once a year" kind of thing?) And teach her that no one way is wrong or better than another but that people have different ways of celebrating?

I'll have to look at the library and find some. That's a great idea! Thanks!

Allison, I think it is really important to get out and do stuff for you...not so that everleigh doesn't think you're an antisocial loser, but because she will need someone to set an example of how to pursue interests and make time for herself. I truly believe you can't be a good parent unless you're happy, and that requires taking care of yourself sometimes.

My mom gave up her hobbies, friends, etc. when she had kids and threw herself into motherhood 110%. And when we hit middle school, she fell apart. Until Lilly was born her only hobbies were reality TV and bejeweled blitz. Now she's being an incredibly overwhelming grandparent. And she has zero close friends, only really talks to her sisters, and burdens me by venting about her relationship and other family issues that I find really inappropriate to discuss with your (even grown) child. Somehow I don't think that would be the case if the only times she left us with a babysitter weren't for PTA or Girl Scout leader meetings.

So yeah, for Ev's sake, go enjoy the day

There's no reason you can't celebrate any other thing you want that isn't Christmas but happens to be around the same time. You can celebrate without it being religious or linked to any faith or spirituality. Maybe you just like to have parties or share gifts for no good reason at all and that just happens to be in December? Doesn't matter what faith you do follow either, parties are parties are gifts are gifts any excuse for family time in my books.

I think there are sooooo many lessons to be learnt in those get together and happy times. Personally, I'd just have a party anyway

We celebrate Christmas as an expression of giving and spending time with family, as we are both agnostic. We will emphasize that the holidays are for these reasons in our family. Although we will let her believe in Santa for as long as she can

I feel like I shouldn't need so much help by now.

Her dad has been working overtime, and my mom went on vacation...so did most of my close friends. I'm falling apart. The house is a disaster. I'm sleeping about 2 hrs every 24 hour period if I'm lucky. I guess it's partly because I'm trying to register for school, but if I can't handle that how am I supposed to deal with classes?

It's like everyone was so ready to help when she was a newborn, but then everything was a lot easier.

It's sooo true! It's a catch-22. They're easier when they're newborn but we are learning how to be moms. Then we start figuring it out but they become more work.

My dh just snarked at me because I didn't add the poop bags to the garbage when I took it out this week. Are you kidding me? I managed to take out the garbage AND recycling while looking after an infant! Screw you!

Everyone always wonders how their babies grow so fast.

Sometimes I think it's because some people are in such a **** hurry for them to grow up.

I'm in a group on Facebook. Our babies are all between 2-4 months old. A lot of moms are already pushing routines, Sleep Sense techniques, CIO and independence on their babies. They're basically newborns still!

I don't know why I care, but I do. And it makes me sad.

I don't know....

I started to establish a routine with Hannah when she was about 3 months old out of necessity. She just did so much better if she had some idea on how the day would go. I know she was just 3 months old... but she knew. She is still like that today at almost 6 years old. she needs to know what to expect from the day. That's not to say if things don't go as planned she melts down but she likes to have a plan and a routine.

it was just easier on her sensibilities when we started a routine. Some babies just require different approaches

It is so sad...makes my heart hurt every time.

(and I am assuming the routines you are talking about are the parent pushed schedules, not a easy routine that baby and parent establish together)

Agree, there's a huge difference between what I'm assuming Tanya is talking about, like a set bedtime routine or a generalized schedule of napping/eating/etc. and forcing your kid to stay awake longer or waking them up before they're done napping just so they can be on some kind of military grade schedule.

Ah yes... That makes a difference. Forcing against babies will and what is natural is different. For hannah, schedule was just a natural part of her. Se just thrives on schedule and seemingly always has... Which goes against everything in MY nature lol. I am fly by the seat of my pants type and hannah is NOT. She wants to know what we are doing tomorrow, and what about the next day... And next week? "I don't know yet" as an answer is not a suitable answer for her lol. Let her alone and she will start planning for me if I drop the ball lol.

She just likes to have a schedule and a plan of action but that is just her personality.

Yes exactly. Everleigh goes to sleep for the night every night at 10:00 like clockwork. I don't know why but that's her schedule. So we work with that.

But doing CIO with a three month old? Fighting to try and get your baby to sleep at an exact hour? Pushing off feeding to make them eat bigger meals less often?

It's all so...unnatural to be. Babies function at a very basic biological level IMO. Everything they do has a purpose.

Add the four month sleep regression to the mix and I just feel so bummed out and annoyed. Everleigh has been super easy to get to sleep this week. No rocking or bouncing required. So I could start putting her in her cosleeper but it doesn't make sense right now when we are going to be hitting four month development soon. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.

I realize that not everyone is as crunchy as me but being too Type A at this stage is just stressful to both mom and baby.

Anyone have any info on bumbo seats as far as development and physiology? I know they were recalled as a fall risk, but not sure about spine, hips, etc.

I just got Lillian one (well a knockoff babies r us brand) and she loves sitting in it. Right now she only has the stamina to sit up for 5 or 10 minutes, but I don't know if as she gets bigger it would be ok to use for slightly longer periods?

I know. You'd think it gets easier, but sometimes it doesn't. I'm in the same boat because clarissa is a really bad sleeper. It's so hard to function on such little sleep and be happy/cheerful for baby. I dont get much accomplished and its frustrating. She just turned 6 months old and I'm still struggling a lot. People keep telling me it gets better lol. Hang in there! Get help when and where ever you can. And you definitely need more sleep than that!

I'm really glad I have this thread.

I find myself getting frustrated at rather than supported in my Facebook birth month group.

And that makes me sad. But really grateful for you guys.

So thanks guys.

Ok I have to wonder and this was one of te reasons I didn 't want to co sleep if I could help it... How are you able to be intimate with your spouse while co sleeping?