SO "rituals of annoyance"

I'm jealous :rofl1: If only I could have my own personal masseuse follow me around, life would be bliss!

God mine pinches me all the time in public unexpectedly just to make me "squeal" & make people think I am crazy ... Drives me nuts.

He also says he will give massages but never does

HAHAHA guilty of that too. I always randomly pinch Brians butt in the grocery store and then run away :rofl1:

LOL OMG I want you guys' relationship. You are so blessed <3

I may have to try that hehe

well I figure if h e gets to honk my boob... that gives me free reign to pinch his butt whenever I want to

Thank you though. We are blessed

You should definitely try it

I come by it honestly though. My aunt was the type to go into a store with her hubby and hike her pants up, tuck the bottoms into her socks and run around calling "dear... oh DEARRRR where are you? Oh thank goodness I found you" LOL

I just started dating this guy, but... god. He does not know how to handle his... uh... morning gift. I've told him I'm incapable of doing anything like that in the morning, but still, every morning when he wakes up he starts thrusting in my general direction/on me. Not trying to get me to do anything, just... doing it. I. Can't. Take it. It's gotten better/subtler, but there's still a little there. I'll be spelling out not to do that tomorrow.

Dropping in for a rare post... I want to share a little about why I think Tanya (Sparks19) and I have such a fantastic relationship. Now, I am going to use a Bible verse as my backdrop, but please feel free to replace God with the flying spaghetti monster, primordal ooze or where ever you think we come from.

Ephesians 5:33 "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

At first glance this probably makes many of the ladies here furious, but please hear me out. Man and woman are programmed different, we have different needs. Neither one is better than the other, just different. God commands men to love (the actual greek uses the word agape, which is like godly love, not romantic love) their wives. Why? Because that does not come naturally to most men. We tend to want to provide, fix, and protect... Then be respected for it, regardless of our results. Conversely, women are commanded to respect their husbands because that does not come naturally. This respect should come, regardless of results.

Why regardless of results? Because we are human and we ALL fail. But good natured people will work to make a relationship better. So, the next time you get in a conflict with your significant other, try this...

Men to women.... "I am sorry dear, did I just say something in a way that came across as unloving?"

Women to men.... "I am sorry dear, did I just say something in a way that came across as disrespectful?"

I bet that if the two people are good willed and care for each other, this will help mend fences.


Men, love your wife, ANYWAY.
Women, respect your husband, ANYWAY.

A good willed couple can be healed this way. I do not rule my wife and she does not rule me. I love her, warts and all. She respects me, warts and all. (And I have a LOT of warts, many more than her.)

I agree with men and women being different in general (there are tons of exceptions and its definitely not black and white) but I do not at all agree with LOVE not coming naturally to men or RESPECT not coming naturally to women. The way in which we SHOW it is often different so there is a lot lost in translation. A man shows LOVE by fixing, by doing which is not always the way women look for it...but that does not mean he does not naturally love.

For me, making a relationship work is going to look totally different for each couple. At its basic level its understanding, respect, compromise, empathy and love

Not that men can't love naturally but they generally don't have the nurturing love that women have (in general) and want from their spouse. Of course there are acceptions but for the most part men are fixers not nurturers (again not ALL)

But it seems when a woman is mad at her husband she generally doesn't withold her nurturing love, she witholds her respect (talks to him disrespectfully with things like "well what do you do... I take care of the kids and clean and work and all you do is work" or something.). Usually we seem to attack their abilities or the way they provide or don't provide. She might not mean to act like she doesn't respect him but we seem to know that his ability to provide is the thing that will hirt him most. Generally.... He takes this as you not respecting what he does not nessecarily you not loving him.

The same exchange where a husband questions the wifes day to day life cones across as him not being loving or nurturing.

Again in general...

Thats not to say men can't love or women can't respect or that men don't need love an women don't need resPect... There is just a tendancy for men to see things from an aspect of respect and women see thigs from an aspect of love.

I see people (women mostly because I have more women than men on my facebook) post things on facebook and it just smacks of a total lack of respect for their spouse. Like on woman one day posted "*hubbys name* you are such a disappointment". WHY would you do that other than to hurt them where you know it will hurt them... Where they feel like their spouse diesn't respect them at all.

To coin the love and respect series phrase "when a woman feels unloved she often responds with disrespect, when a man feels disrespected he often responds unlovingly."

Not a one size fits all but yes as you said Greenmagick it's about learning how your spouse communicates vs how you communicate or how they perceive what you says vs how you perceive it

To add to what Tanya just said....


This is why I hate social media and MUCH prefer actually talking to people... LOL

This is exactly what I meant. I was not trying to say that men cannot love and women cannot respect. I was saying that the opposite sexes often translate how we communicate it incorrectly. Thus my request to ask those questions of each other when your SO says something that hacks you off.

I just don't think venting harmlessly (and anonymously) on the internet about the little things that annoy us about our SO indicates some kind of huge ISSUE lol
I love my boyfriend and I don't think there is any harm in saying I think the way he smacks his gum is ANNOYING :rofl1: and I don't think that indicates that our relationship is more or less functional.

I just think people are missing the point of this thread lol anytime you live with someone or are in close contact.. there are going to be little things they do that you would do differently.

I was having a conversation like this with a group of friends and there is always one like "Oh.. I dunno.. I love him and all his little quirks.. nothing he does annoys me"
LIES!! LOL you are a human being living in close proximity with another human being. THERE IS NOTHING THEY DO THAT ANNOYS YOU!? EVEN A LITTLE?!
a few drinks and all of a sudden everyone remembers the little things :rofl1:
I'm not saying to put these things on facebook or nag your SOs about it..

but come on.

If he does this with the toothpaste one more time...
I am going to bonk him on the head!!

To contribute to the vent part lol.....

DH is awesome at fixing and doing home repairs etc. I love that.....I do NOT love when he gets in a "fix ALL the things" mode and I end up with piles of power tools and wood and crap all over my house (and I actually dont mind clutter and am not a cleaner so if I complain, yes, its bad!). Or he is bad about thinking about how his projects affect others (like digging giant trenches in both front and back yard towards the end of fall....meaning all winter and spring both yards will be giant mud pits that the dogs get to tromp through:/ or turning off the water do do a "quick" pipe repair right before its time to get the kids bathed and ready for bed....for those who dont know, a "quick" pipe repair is NEVER quick)

No one said it was an indication of a huge issue

LOL trenches always make me laugh. My stepdad is famous for his trenches lol I even made him a t shirt in honor of them lol

Holes and trenches...my guy loves to dig apparently lol

To be fair, these actually have a purpose (many of his other ones did not). We now have a huge rain water collection system hooked to all the gardens so that is very nice.

THe trenches in the back yard are still there, covered with boards:/ THat will be to run a line out to the garage so we can charge the car on a 220v outlet.

Yes!! Haha :hail::rofl1:

Lol my step dads historic trench was to connect their bbq to their house gas line. His crowning achievement lol. He tells the story ten times a day lol so his shirt says "did I tell you I dig a trench?" LOL

Yeah what is that about guys & SAUEEZING THE TOOTHPASTE IN THE MIDDLE!!! :wall: I swear, I don't bother telling him anymore because it does no good & although my SO doesn't smack his gum he does snore (which is really of of his control but still :S)

He messes up his clothes after I fix them ... Ugh

For the record, the only trench I have dug on my property was completed and filled in the same weekend.

Lol I am also a ham fisted toothpaste squeezer. Maybe I commiserate with te guys because I am the one that has most of their undesireable traits

I fart too lol