Thoughts on taking a puppy back to the breeder...

LabLove

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#1
This is really hard for me to write but I really need to talk to some dog people about this and you have all been so nice to me in Leo’s memorial thread that I found the courage to ask here.

On June 22 I got an 8 week old Chihuahua puppy. It was love at first sight… he made the family complete. I had my big gentle yellow lab boy Leo and now my little bouncy puppy boy, Percy. But it only lasted 9 days. My Leo (see thread in rainbow bridge for full story) passed away very unexpectedly at age 4 on Sunday. My heart is just in pieces, I’m beyond devastated.

A bit earlier I was trying to work on training Percy how to go on walks…. something Leo loved to do. But Percy hates having his collar put on and won’t walk on a leash. He will just sit there and try to break off the leash. I finally managed to coax him into walking but then a dog barked from behind a gate and Percy screamed so loud several neighbors turned to look. One neighbor even came over to see him but Percy just screamed and peed when she went to pet him. I just was so upset because Leo loved walks so much and my whole neighborhood reminds me of those walks so it’s painful to even go on a walk in the first place. I ended the walk immediately as I never wanted to scare the little guy… and took him back to the house.

Percy settled down right away once he was back home and his leash was off. I gave him a toy to play with and tried to calm down myself as at this point I was nearly in tears. I played a message that had been left on the phone while I was outside and it was the pet cemetery saying Leo’s ashes were going to be delivered tomorrow morning and that they needed me to be there to sign for them. It just totally broke me... Up until today I have been pretending he is just in the next room but I can’t do that anymore, it is actually becoming real now.

And I realized then that I am being so unfair to my sweet chihuahua puppy because Percy isn’t Leo and Percy should be loved 100% for who he is and not picked apart for who he is not. I am considering asking Percy’s breeder to take him back. This would be so hard for me, I love him so much and I care about him a lot…. but I don’t think I can give him what he needs and deserves right now. Percy just turned 10 weeks old today, young enough to readapt to another family. I want to do what is best for him. It just hurts too much caring for him right now. I’ve been sitting here for an hour in tears, just trying to decide what to do… I’ve never gave an animal away before, this is a HUGE deal for me. It will break my heart but in the end may be the best choice for me and for little Percy. I am so torn right now and just looking for advice….
 

Kilter

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#2
It's totally up to you of course, but it would be better to rehome him now than later.

That being said, at that age it's pretty normal for any dog to act like that when out for the first time. You could sign up for some puppy classes and work on socializing him and he should come out of his shell, but it's not unheard of for a young pup to not love walking right off the bat.

I know the feeling though, got a new computer and my boss loaded pictures of my goldens on it, both the one we have and the one we lost last fall. It just hit me suddenly and I had a good cry today about missing her.

Sorry for your loss.
 

MandyPug

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#3
Beyond what the above poster said. Try a harness on the pup. Especially since chihuahuas are teeny tiny collars tend to be bulky right around their face, i've had much better success with chihuahuas wearing harnesses. Not to mention toy breeds have delicate tracheas and pulling lots especially in developmental stages could damage it irreversibly.
 

Laurelin

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#5
Percy is young and just a baby, he's behaving pretty normally. I also think you shouldn't decide anything while the pain of losing your other dog is so fresh. It's not even been a week yet, it's very normal to be having this kind of grief. I would not make any decisions right now because I really think you might regret deciding something like that while you're still in the first stages of grief.

I don't know, I'm the total opposite in that when one of my dogs pass, I need another dog to help me through. Not a replacement but something else to focus on. When Trey died I found Mia and decided to take her a couple days later. When Nikki died, I don't think I could have gotten through it without Summer. Summer and Nikki were very different kinds of dogs too. Trey and Mia were polar opposites. Sometimes I think it's best to have a dog that's really different from the old one so you can't really compare the two so much.
 
K

Kaydee

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#6
I don't know quite what to say, I can only share experience. My Kashi died last year, we had him about seven years. So special, so unique, one of the most gentlemanly cats I've ever known.

People, dogs, other cats, he loved everyone. Of course he owned the house. If he wanted that windowsill, that food bowl...he could lift his lip and whoever was there would vanish.

But every night my boy would curl up between me, hubby and dog, wash himself then everyone else, then fall asleep till morning purring softly.

I like to think he never knew what hit him. We found him in the street one night in front of the house. I'm crying as I'm typing this, that night was so hard. Even hubby who isn't the type kept saying "Why him? Why him?". Within a week we knew what we had to do.
We went together to the city shelter and there we met another ginger boy...unique in his own way. You have to follow your heart sometimes.
 

joce

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#7
Never make a decisions while you are depressed- and right now it seems you are. You said things were good so they can be again. He can gain confidence on walks and one day you may regret taking him back.

And I always get another dog right away. In this case wait a year and get another big dog. But personally if this pup was planned I think you should stick it out. Link the puppy with new happy dog things.
 

Grab

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#8
I second trying a harness at this age. Many times even the smallest leashes can kind of bop small breed puppies in the face when they're doing the normal puppy civil disobedience, and this just makes them more resistant. He's also very young to enjoy walks...he's a puppy, not a dog. I'm sure he'll enjoy walks just as much once he's a bit bigger. I don't think any of my pups have enjoyed walks at a very young age.
 
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#9
He sounds like a perfectly normal 10 week old puppy...no particular issues that really worry me. Resistance to the leash/collar is very normal especially when you're just starting out.

Katalin CRIED at just having her leash put on the first little while. She wouldn't walk anywhere and had to be dragged/carried more than a fair share of times.
Now she sometimes runs to me when I get the leash out - although she much prefers a game of chase around the house lol.

It's a total departure and opposite dog from your old dog but like Laurelin said - opposites and different dogs are good. I've not had a LGD before and it is completely nothing like training or having any other dogs that I've had experience with before - but it's great and I really enjoy it =)

I would totally keep him! Make the walking fun and preferably keep them short and sweet, going at a nice comfortable pace, upbeat mode and manner on your part, and treats for him of course. Try a harness and even just letting him wear a leash around the house to get used to it and all. Good luck!
 
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#10
Could someone watch him for a week (relative/breeder) while you get a chance to mourn your loss? He would still be young enough to easily find another home if you decided you just can't do it.

Sorry for your loss, we know that kind of pain. :(
 

Miakoda

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#11
As already mentioned, your Chi's behavior is normal. I always started leash training by putting the collar/harness and leash on the pup, and then just sitting in the front yard and letting the pup set the pace. If the pup just sat there, I just sat there. After about 5-10 minutes, we'd go back in. It soon progresses to the pup starting to walk around to investigate the yard, and I'll just follow along without putting any resistance on the leash. I have had all my pups (and I've had a LOT!) walking gently on a leash within 7-10 days this way. It's about providing security and building confidence instead of making demands.

With that said, my first question is "after the unexpected death of your Lab, do you see yourself owning a Chihuahua for the next 12 years?". I ask because, while we often want and take on a second dog of a different breed/type, it's not always what we want in a primary dog. If your primary dogs is gone, then sometimes you'll feel like the fit isn't right. If this is how you feel, regardless of being depressed, then I would gently suggest returning the puppy.

I'm sure many people will disagree with me, but IMO, giving the pup a second chance of a better-fitting home is a responsible thing to do. I'm not one to force someone to keep a dog that is not a good fit for one's family and/or lifestyle.
 

Miakoda

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#12
As already mentioned, your Chi's behavior is normal. I always started leash training by putting the collar/harness and leash on the pup, and then just sitting in the front yard and letting the pup set the pace. If the pup just sat there, I just sat there. After about 5-10 minutes, we'd go back in. It soon progresses to the pup starting to walk around to investigate the yard, and I'll just follow along without putting any resistance on the leash. I have had all my pups (and I've had a LOT!) walking gently on a leash within 7-10 days this way. It's about providing security and building confidence instead of making demands.

With that said, my first question is "after the unexpected death of your Lab, do you see yourself owning a Chihuahua for the next 12 years?". I ask because, while we often want and take on a second dog of a different breed/type, it's not always what we want in a primary dog. If your primary dogs is gone, then sometimes you'll feel like the fit isn't right. If this is how you feel, regardless of being depressed, then I would gently suggest returning the puppy.

I'm sure many people will disagree with me, but IMO, giving the pup a second chance of a better-fitting home is a responsible thing to do. I'm not one to force someone to keep a dog that is not a good fit for one's family and/or lifestyle.
 

Doberluv

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#13
As already mentioned, your Chi's behavior is normal. I always started leash training by putting the collar/harness and leash on the pup, and then just sitting in the front yard and letting the pup set the pace. If the pup just sat there, I just sat there. After about 5-10 minutes, we'd go back in. It soon progresses to the pup starting to walk around to investigate the yard, and I'll just follow along without putting any resistance on the leash. I have had all my pups (and I've had a LOT!) walking gently on a leash within 7-10 days this way. It's about providing security and building confidence instead of making demands.

With that said, my first question is "after the unexpected death of your Lab, do you see yourself owning a Chihuahua for the next 12 years?". I ask because, while we often want and take on a second dog of a different breed/type, it's not always what we want in a primary dog. If your primary dogs is gone, then sometimes you'll feel like the fit isn't right. If this is how you feel, regardless of being depressed, then I would gently suggest returning the puppy.

I'm sure many people will disagree with me, but IMO, giving the pup a second chance of a better-fitting home is a responsible thing to do. I'm not one to force someone to keep a dog that is not a good fit for one's family and/or lifestyle.
I agree with this, seconding the advice for getting Percy use to a leash gradually and additionally, introducing him to the big world around him little by little, not over whelming him. Make everything that is potentially scary associated with positive things...his favorite treat, a moment of play with a toy, lots of praise. Get him out and about but be careful not to over whelm him. If he doesn't like people groping/petting him, work up to that gradually also...on his terms. Too much overt stuff toward timid puppies is no good.

I don't think anyone should keep a dog where they think they may not be the best person for that dog and I wouldn't fault you under your circumstances for sending him back to the breeder. But I do agree that right after this sudden shock of losing Leo, your decision making ability may be skewed a little. So, take extra caution as you try to decide. But yeah....the earlier you can make the decision, the better for the pup. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It will take time, but the pain will ease.
 

yoko

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#14
I don't think anyone should keep a dog where they think they may not be the best person for that dog and I wouldn't fault you under your circumstances for sending him back to the breeder. But I do agree that right after this sudden shock of losing Leo, your decision making ability may be skewed a little. So, take extra caution as you try to decide. But yeah....the earlier you can make the decision, the better for the pup. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It will take time, but the pain will ease.
This sums it up for me. I think you really need to make sure this isn't just a snap decision you are making because of your sudden loss. If you give him up make sure it's because you really think he would be better off. You don't want to go a while and realize you gave up a little companion that you needed.
 

LabLove

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#15
Thanks for your replies.

I am still heartbroken over the loss of Leo but I have decided that I am going to keep little Percy. I don’t think I could live with myself if I gave him up. I do love him very much. I am working with the leash training with the method Miakoda recommended and he is slowly gaining more confidence. I initially got a chihuahua so I could have a small dog, as well a large one, a best of both worlds kind of thing. After Leo died I think I started wanting Percy to be exactly like him.

Hopefully with time, I can heal and one day have just as many great memories with Percy as I do with Leo.
 

Doberluv

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#19
Percy is adorable...so sweet looking. (and I love the name...so cute) Like they say, "good things come in small packages." You'll bond with him in a big way in no time. And he'll be a comfort to you. It is good that you're taking things slowly with training. He's a baby and all the learning about his world, how to walk nicely and confidently on a leash takes time...growing up is a work in progress. I'm sure he'll be great.
 

~Jessie~

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#20
Percy is adorable...so sweet looking. (and I love the name...so cute) Like they say, "good things come in small packages." You'll bond with him in a big way in no time. And he'll be a comfort to you. It is good that you're taking things slowly with training. He's a baby and all the learning about his world, how to walk nicely and confidently on a leash takes time...growing up is a work in progress. I'm sure he'll be great.
This!

He'll never take the place of your Leo, but he'll help fill the void in your heart.
 

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