In Which I Thank God that Boo is Alive so I can Threaten to Kill her Myself

GoingNowhere

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#1
Just as the title says...

It was my very first morning back and I decided that I would take my walk deprived pup on a nice morning stroll. I hooked up the long yellow leash, stuck Boo in the hatchback, and off we went. All went fine and well at first. We meandered here and there, Boo saw a cat, I thwarted Boo's efforts to chase and eat said cat, Boo pretended that she hated me for a while, Boo smelled a deer, Boo got over the cat quickly.... and that was when the nice walk ended.

She tried to chase the deer into the blackberry thicket. I pulled back on the leash, and just like that moment when you're fishing and reeling in a big one and the line snaps, I suddenly felt nothing but air when I yanked back. I panicked, yelled at the dog (who has a wonderful "emergency" recall in calm non-emergency situations :rolleyes:) and attempted to chase her down. Boo might be 56 human years old, but "chasing" her was about as productive as trying to outrace a nascar driver in an oldsmobile. So I walked quickly in her general direction all while yelling at her that she'd better get her fuzzy bum right back this second. She continued sprinting toward the general direction of the road.

She must've finally decided she'd had enough - or just had one too many thorns in her paws - because she finally decided it was due time to come back to me. I have never seen that dog wear a bigger grin as she came galumphing back. I thanked her for coming back and promised to beat her, kill her, and give her the longest bath of her life when we got home. With extra suds.

Lucky for you, I have photo documentation of the entire bad dog episode.

When she was still a good dog:













and then she saw the cat





luckily for me, the leash decided to work that time.

and so she was forced to return unscathed




MORE...
 

GoingNowhere

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#2




A nice little bit of foreshadowing. “Mom, doesn’t this look like a fun place to play!?â€




Some pretty scenery:


Some pretty light:








And tricking me into thinking that she was a good dog just before she decided to be a bad dog…


MORE...
 

GoingNowhere

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#3
Is that a deer!?


And the last picture I got before I realized the leash broke:


She ran straight into this:


And came out with lots of these:


The remainder of the yellow leash… (I had another leash connected to the yellow one to make it even longer… that one (the brown one that you see) stayed intact and was the leash that I used to bring her back home.


And one very tired, very bad, very lucky little dog:



DONE.


As a little sidenote - it amazes me how well Boo's coat protected her. She has a scratch above one eyelid, a bloody spot in between her paw pads, and a slightly bloody tip of her ear, but the vast majority of her body was unscathed. I once fell into one of these blackberry bushes while picking them in the summer and still have scars from it. I can tell you that those bushes would've shredded any normal human with unclothed skin. I did have to pick a ton of thorns out of her face, but didn't notice any blood other than the aforementioned places.
 

GoingNowhere

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#7
happy voice murder threats is exactly what I was doing.

"Oh Boo I'm so glad you're back! Aren't you excited? Now we get to go home so I can beat you and wring your neck! And maybe give you a bath too. An extra long one. Doesn't that sound like fun!? You're such a bad bad bad dog." (all while speaking in a baby voice, petting her, hugging her and dethorning her poor little face.)
 

HayleyMarie

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#8
Bah haha that's a great story. I need a Boo to chase all the deer out of my yard. I would let Teagan do it, but town deer are firstly and might try and stomp her.

P.s your a great story teller.
 
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#9
She looks like it was totally worth it! She's a gorgeous girl, even when being terrible.

I HATE when they do that. You want to throttle them but have to say it all nicely.
 

~Jessie~

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#10
I agree with Hayley- you're great at story telling! I know it was the least funny thing at the time, but the details and imagery really cracked me up.

I HATE when they do that. You want to throttle them but have to say it all nicely.
Ugh, I know! A few nights ago, Rory was being a butt and didn't want to come inside. Finally, we were able to get him in the house and we had to shower him with niceness even though on the inside I wanted to strangle him. Brats.
 

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