Dad shoots laptop because of FB post

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Yep, I wore my Children all the time as babies. Very good for them.

Usually tantrums are for other reasons than not getting something they want, hunger, being tired, too much stimulation etc. I don't know, tantrums are kind of like barking and lunging in dogs. They are reacting to something. Sure, we can react back harder and supresses the behavior but are they really learning???
 

sparks19

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I never could do the babywearing. I tried but it was just too hard on my back. I couldn't do it. Sure made somethings difficult since i rarely had both hands free. I am the master at driving a shopping cart with one hand lol even those big ones with the cars on the front for kids to ride in lol

I don't know... Learning to do as you are told the first time can be a very valuable lesson lol its a good lesson as a child, in the workplace and for husbands LOL i am kiddig about the last one... Kinda LOL
 
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Yes people could talk about it, but they wouldn't be seeing it. Seeing it fuels the discussion which creates more interest in seeing it and it continues.

If he had taken it down early this would be a non issue, heck if he took it down today it would die off pretty quick.

I think he is enjoying the attention to be honest.
It's going to die off pretty quick anyway. Next week the world's righteous indignation will have someone else in it's crosshairs.
 
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I don't know... Learning to do as you are told the first time can be a very valuable lesson lol its a good lesson as a child, in the workplace and for husbands LOL i am kiddig about the last one... Kinda LOL
Honestly, i always want my kids questioning things and not doing what they are told, just because they are told.
 

sparks19

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Honestly, i always want my kids questioning things and not doing what they are told, just because they are told.
Thats all well and good and i am also trying to teach hannah to ask qestions but there are times where it is important to do as you are told as long as it doesnt violate any laws or your morals.

For example, no one will ever make it through basic training in the miltary if you don't know how to shut up an take orders.

There is a time to question and there is also a time to do what is asked of you. Both are very important skills to learn in life. Like if hannah is out of my reach and heading somewhere dangerous and i tell her to STOP. That is not an appropriate time to question what she is being told. She can question it later but right now she needs to do as i say when i say it.
 

LauraLeigh

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Wow posted this then got called into work, came back to check it... And it's been busy!

I don't have time right this minute to read all the replies but I feel the Dad did nothing wrong here, I was a bratty teen too, many of us were... But even when I was (99% of the time unjustified) pissed at my parents I would NEVER have dared to sass them, or bad mouth them in such a manner, vent to my diary? Sure, Vent to my BF? Sure... But to Post something so hurtful (and very exaggerated) on FB! Given it did not exsist then, but I would never have done it...

I have tons of my daughters friends who added me to FB, even the ones I know are a bit bratty/ entitled have never posted something so hurtful....

I don't see it as a horrible thing, I think he was trying to get her attention, and it seems it worked...
 

Paige

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Don't you know you're spoiling that child picking him up like that all the time? :p

Mom was in the wilds of central america when my sis and I were babies. Poor mom was so conflicted, the locals told her to never let us cry, nurse on demand, and to carry us around in a sling. Meanwhile her mom and MIL were telling her that if we were dry and fed to ignore us if we cried, and that we'd never learn to walk if she carried us around so much. Funnily, the native kids seemed to learn how to walk just fine - so did we :)
So true. You can never win as a parent. You either spoil them with love and thats why they are a brat or you ignore them and thats why they are acting out because you don't give them enough attention.

For us it works. Briggs does not feel punished by being thrown on my back to settle. Not to compare my child to a dog but it's kind of like putting your dog in a crate when company is over and you know it's going to over excite him. It's how I manage him when he is too distracted to learn. I can't leave my child at home like I cna my dog in certain situations so I've adapted. If the situation is dangerous like walking on a very busy street I put him on my back as an example. Plus its just our mode of transport. I don't even own a stroller. His legs get tired and he wants up. He's pretty heavy at nearly 35lbs to lug around in your arms for an extended period of time so a carrier is a must to keep my little high needs boy happy.

I think this dad is getting a bit more flack than he should. All parents do this people scoff at because its against their parenting styles and beliefs. I don't think he needs a medal of honor or to win the parent of the year award but I think people are overreacting to it.
 

AliciaD

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"the last time you were grounded, and quite frankly I forget now, but it was for something fairly childish and stupid..."

Had me rolling on the ground laughing, haha
 

skittledoo

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Personally I applaud this dad. Sure him posting it on YouTube may have been a bit excessive, but at the same time I see so many kids acting like the world should be handed to them. I was a selfish little brat at that age. If my father had done something like this to prove a point to me I can say that his point would have been proven. Honestly, if I was in this dad's shoes I would have totally shot the laptop too.... Only I would have probably used the shotgun. Sure some people think that's too harsh, but I was raised a little old fashioned and my parents absolutely did not put up with ****. I learned things the hard way and I am grateful for my upbringing honestly. When I was younger I definitely resented my parents at times, but they handled things the way they did for a reason and I have major respect for.them now that I'm older and have a better understanding. But that's just my take on it. Parenting style is one of those debates where there will always be people on different sides of the fence.
 

CaliTerp07

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Ugh. This is a fed up parent who has run out of patience. Someone posted it earlier, but an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind...

It's strange how people will readily accept Super Nanny type suggestions for 5 year olds, and understand the need to put a child in time out over and over and over again for the same misbehaviors until it finally sets in. Yet the 5 year old becomes 15, and they expect the punishment to work correctly the first time.

I work with 13 year olds all day. They are obnoxious as heck, whiny as anything, and developmentally they honestly believe they are the center of the world. #1 thing they taught us in behavior management class in teacher school is to never embarrass the kid in front of their peers--it just drives up huge walls.

I can remember to this day the things my parents said/did that harmed our relationship. Had my parent publicly filmed something like this, I can guarantee you it would have destroyed any lines of communication during high school. Shooting the laptop was wasteful (imo), and the dad probably should have taken some time out to calm down, but whatever. The worse part to me is filming it and intentionally trying to embarrass the girl. That's stooping to the level of a teenager, and is just showing her that her parent do exactly what they told her not to do.
 

Lilavati

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All I can think, and I admit I have not watched the video . . . the man annoys me for some reason . . . is that one thing I am sure will not happen is that when that girl is 30, she will not say to her Dad, with a laugh as they sit around the dinner table at Thanksgiving: "Hey, remember the time you shot my laptop because I bad mouthed you?"

This will NOT be a good father daughter memory. Indeed, this is likely one of those things that even as an adult she's not likely to forgive him for. Its also the sort of thing that means that if she ever gets in REAL trouble . . . she may not turn to him for help . . .

Since I haven't watched more than a little bit of the video, I don't know what she said. But I really can't imagine anything she could have said that justifies this sort of escalation: not in the long term.

I also think that destroying the laptop, or even wiping it and giving it away, is too much. Take it away. Lock it up. Let her earn it back . . . but teenagers these days have real uses for computers (like school!). More than that, by making her earn it back, you provide a way to HEAL this . . . she apologizes, does her chores, she gets her laptop back, and life goes on.

Right now this strikes me as one of those ever escalating teen-parent dramas that mess up everyone's life.
 

smkie

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All I can think, and I admit I have not watched the video . . . the man annoys me for some reason . . . is that one thing I am sure will not happen is that when that girl is 30, she will not say to her Dad, with a laugh as they sit around the dinner table at Thanksgiving: "Hey, remember the time you shot my laptop because I bad mouthed you?"

This will NOT be a good father daughter memory. Indeed, this is likely one of those things that even as an adult she's not likely to forgive him for. Its also the sort of thing that means that if she ever gets in REAL trouble . . . she may not turn to him for help . . .

Since I haven't watched more than a little bit of the video, I don't know what she said. But I really can't imagine anything she could have said that justifies this sort of escalation: not in the long term.

I also think that destroying the laptop, or even wiping it and giving it away, is too much. Take it away. Lock it up. Let her earn it back . . . but teenagers these days have real uses for computers (like school!). More than that, by making her earn it back, you provide a way to HEAL this . . . she apologizes, does her chores, she gets her laptop back, and life goes on.

Right now this strikes me as one of those ever escalating teen-parent dramas that mess up everyone's life.

That was Hyia, my grand girl's point. It was interesting watching the video with her and asking her opinion afterward. She is 12. i said she could use the one at the library but even I knew that was lame when I said it because the line at least at our library is very long.
 

Lilavati

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That was Hyia, my grand girl's point. It was interesting watching the video with her and asking her opinion afterward. She is 12. i said she could use the one at the library but even I knew that was lame when I said it because the line at least at our library is very long.
And try to write a term paper at the library. Some research, yes, a term paper . . .no.

Or do kids not have to write those anymore?
 

~Jessie~

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My sister has her own laptop, and my parents have a family computer. She's been punished before and had the laptop taken away. She still had the family computer to do school work on- she just didn't have the freedom to use her laptop in her bedroom or where ever else she wanted to use it at.

What the dad did in this situation is something I would never do as a parent, but like Sparks said, sometimes you have to make things up as you go.

I would've been mortified if my dad did that to me... but a lot of kids are harder to get through to.
 

skittledoo

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On the topic of kids even having laptops/their own computers.... I might get my child their own computer when they go off to college, but they will not have their own computers to take in their room and use for whatever they want and whenever they want before they are 18. That's not to say they won't have access to a computer. We'll probably have a family computer set up that our kids can use for school work and stuff. If Josh has it his way we wont have a computer at all since he doesn't like computers lol. We had a family computer when I was growing up so that my parents could monitor what sites we browsed and how much time we were on them. We also didn't really have video games growing up so I never got into the whole video game thing thank goodness. We found other ways of entertainment.... Dodgeball/basketball with the neighbors, painting/drawing... Legos.... Omg I loved legos lol. My sisters played softball and I rode horses whenever I could. We were outside a lot riding bikes and climbing trees etc. Kids seem to rely too much on technogy these days for entertainment and a lot of them act like they are entitled to it. I've heard some horror stories about kids flipping out that their parents didn't buy them an iPad or some new $50-60 video game. It's ridiculous in my opinion.
 

Lilavati

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My sister has her own laptop, and my parents have a family computer. She's been punished before and had the laptop taken away. She still had the family computer to do school work on- she just didn't have the freedom to use her laptop in her bedroom or where ever else she wanted to use it at.

What the dad did in this situation is something I would never do as a parent, but like Sparks said, sometimes you have to make things up as you go.

I would've been mortified if my dad did that to me... but a lot of kids are harder to get through to.
The question is what exactly did he get through to her . . . yes, she probably won't bad mouth him on Facebook again . . . but what else did she learn? And for that matter, did she learn the real reason why you don't? I know what *I* would have learned from this, and it probably isn't what this man wants to teach his daughter.

Yes, and the family probably does have a computer. Which she could use until she earns her own back. But I'm pretty sure no one in the family really wants her using the family computer to do all her school work for the next three years. And it sounds like your sister can get her computer back. I think taking the computer away is perfectly fine . . but destroying it or giving it to charity is over the top.

As to kids not really needing their own computer/shouldn't have one until college: I had my own from a fairly early age (this was pre-internet). For a while it was a dedicated word processor/typewriter. But perhaps it was because I went to private school, or took lots of writing classes . . . but I simply can't imagine having done all of my school work on a computer sitting in the middle of the living room. I mean, I suppose I COULD have, but it would have inconvenienced everyone in the household, would have denied me some quiet to think, and would have kept my parents from using it while I was working. Shrug. I see a computer as a tool. It can be a toy, but its also a crucial tool to be used work school/professional purposes. I also think there's a big difference between little kids and teenagers in terms of how much supervision they need.

But that's my take. I suppose if my kid was trouble, I'd give them a computer with no internet connection and nothing on it but Microsoft Office . . . or if they had a normal computer, take it away and make them use the family one . . . but only as a punishment. But making a kid (especially a teenager) sit in the living room and do their homework strikes me as . . well, annoying to me if nothing else, not to mention pretty much excessive unless they are being punished. (note, this assumes there is enough money for more than one computer).
 

~Jessie~

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I had my own laptop from the time I was 14... which was really nice, and I'm not sure I'd do the same with my kids. I used mine mainly for writing- I went to a high school for the arts and "majored" in creative writing. My sister used the family computer a good bit for learning games (she was 4 at the time) so we didn't have to argue about switching off.

When I was in high school, social networking didn't even exist, though (now I feel so old, LOL!). We used AIM for chatting and the internet wasn't nearly as exciting. Myspace didn't even exist until I was a freshman in college.

There is SO much drama with FB and teenagers. My sister and her friends have done immature things on it, and then cried when retaliation came.
 

AliciaD

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All I can think, and I admit I have not watched the video . . . the man annoys me for some reason . . . is that one thing I am sure will not happen is that when that girl is 30, she will not say to her Dad, with a laugh as they sit around the dinner table at Thanksgiving: "Hey, remember the time you shot my laptop because I bad mouthed you?"
Well, to be fair, I doubt he will ever be laughing about the time she called him lazy and told him to get up off his @$$.

I think the worst part would be the public humiliation, but that wasn't his idea, and I don't think his intent. She took it online, and he responded online. I doubt he thought it would get quite as popular as it did.

I don't have a laptop, and I'm in college. I also didn't have a laptop for a good deal of time during high school. So, I can't really sympathize with her on that point. No laptop? Lade****ingda.

EDIT: I would never do this to my kid, but I can understand why the dad did it. This wasn't the first time she had badmouthed her family online, and she had been grounded for it before (so it wasn't like he shot the laptop on the first offense. she had been doing this, and he had been disciplining her in other ways, and she hadn't changed), she was rude about "the cleaning lady", and he had not only bought the laptop for her, but had just installed $130 worth of stuff on there.

I mean, if my dad gave me $130 and the next day I called him lazy, and said he worked me like a slave, and did this all in a very public way... Well, my dad would have hit me, but he would have yelled at me.

I can't be certain, because I can't watch it right now, but I noticed that he calls her out on her behavior, not her character. He says she did something stupid and childish, not that she is stupid and childish. It would have driven me crazy if I had noticed him berating her.

And I honestly think she will recover. My family has been through insane ****, where I have been on the receiving end of much worse than a lost laptop. My parents and I maintain a good relationship.
 
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~Jessie~

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So you're grounded and had your laptop taken away and have to share the family computer? Not my problem. You can work your schedule around using it since you're the one who messed up and had your laptop taken away in the first place.

She could stay after school and use the computer lab, since she doesn't have a job. She can work out a schedule with her parents about using it from 6-8pm every night, etc. Chances are, her parents have their own laptops or tablets (as most people do), so I can't see it being a terrible thing to have to use the family computer.

If you use the computer your parents bought you to badmouth your family on FB, then I see nothing wrong with having it taken away (or destroyed, donated, whatever). Kids don't NEED their own laptops. It's a privilage and not a right.
 

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