I am frustrated.

We did not get that other dog. However, Sophie is really frustrating me. Why?

No matter how long we leave dry food out, she'd rather die than eat it. Except my mom won't BUY wet food. Instead, Sophie is getting whatever we had for dinner mixed in with dry dog food. Except she still doesn't eat the dog food.

When I try any obedience training with this dog, she gets so scared of me no matter how softly i talk and how gentle I am with her that she ends up peeing and running away. I swear all I do is say "Come here, Sophie" and give her treats. Why is she so scared of me when I do this? She didn't even have a leash on, I wasn't even touching her at all, my voice was really soft. All I was doing was saying her name and giving her treats. What happened?

How long have you had Sophie? How old is she? Where did you get her? Do you know anything about her history? I think if I had Sophie, if she were that scared.....I'd leave the obedience training for later and just try to develop some rapport with her...just hang out and let her decide on her own time when she wants to come closer. Try not to make a big deal out of her fearfulness or her submissive peeing...just go about your business and if she comes a little closer or looks a little curious, drop a little treat on the floor. Or sit on the floor and see if she'll come close, then give her a treat. Go gradually. But leave things more up to her instead of you or anyone else pushing her too hard to be sociable.

As far as the food, leave a small amount for her for 15 minutes and then pick it up and put it away until the next meal time. Don't leave it there for a long time. Have you tried a different food? What are you feeding? If you're putting some goodies on it from dinner and she still doesn't eat for a long time, you might have her looked over by a vet. Maybe something is wrong with her teeth or something is bothering her. (?) Too many skipped meals for a tiny dog could bring on a hypoglycemic episode.

She's not always scared, she usually loves me to death, covers me in kisses and wants to be near me at all times. It's just with the obedience training... And Sophie is 1 year old. We had her looked at by a vet who said everything was OK, including her teeth. We've tried a lot of different foods.

Picky eaters are made, not born. If you keep mixing better things in daily.. she will learn and has learned to hold out in hopes of better. I wouldn't do more than wet the kibble to make it have a slight gravy, put it down for 10-15 and remove it if she doesn't eat every meal time.

Cider used to be picky, I used to coddle her. When I finally stopped and started giving specific meal times she quit being so finicky. Took more than one meal though. It's now rare she misses a meal.

Sophie gets fed once a day only. Thanks for the advice, I'll try that.

Personally I would stop the 'Obedience Training', regardless of whether you are doing it on your own or with an instructor.

It sounds like she is concerned/worried or scared of you WHEN you are training. That can happen for several reasons, your stressed, your expectations are too high and she doesn't understand and you get frustrated are usually the top ones.


Train by play and teaching her tricks, make it fun and happy. Train for 20 secs, tell her she is done and reward often and get rid of the frustration. Get a good instructor that trains this way.

Lots of info on how to train like this in books and here at Chaz.

Good luck

Alright, thanks for the help. I think I am just getting frustrated because I know I get frustrated when she won't eat and she does the same thing. She usually does eat but last night she wasn't feeling all that great and I got a little frustrated/worried.

Maybe all she needs is a bit of bonding time, just try to lay day by her and pet her. Take a few of her toys and throw them around, perhaps gradually when she's all hyped up you could teach her a small trick, nothing too big though. Just make it look like you're still playing a game, maybe she's just worried to fail your expectations. My old dog used to be like that, then gradually he came around.

As for the feeding, maybe put a tiny bit of water(not too warm but not too cold either) on his food to dampen it. If all else fails, just keep trying to ask your mom to buy wet food.

I hope this helps !