Something my cousin posted on FB about Halloween

LOVE that line! I think I will use it this year.

And that's HUGE. If the kids are little enough to have mom or dad come up to the door with them, I expect the parents to say thank you if their children are too shy/unable to do it themselves.

Kids are getting stuff for FREE from strangers. If there is no appreciation for it (from someone in the family), that's a huge problem.

If we have school Wednesday (big if with this darn hurricane), I'm going to hammer home to my 8th graders how nice everyone is being to them, and how the only thing they have to do to get free candy is say "Thank you". Hopefully it sticks with a few of them.

But...what a teachable moment! Those are the kind of things teachers are constantly looking for! I absolutely understand that some kids are so focused on running to the next house they forget to say "Thank you", but where is the harm in saying, "You're welcome!" as they run off or saying, "What do you say when someone gives you free treats?" It's a life lesson to learn how to be grateful, even when running around like little hooligans.

Really though, I'm not talking about the 5 year olds (who should have mom or dad up with them saying thank you if they forget, anyway). I'm talking about the 13 year olds who turned up their nose at my candy and asked if they could have a soda out of my fridge instead. The 16 year olds who stole candy and ran off. The teenager who came back to my door 3 times demanding more candy ("I'm back! Give me another reese's!") before finally forcing me to turn out the light (despite the fact that it was only 8:00 and there were still lots of kids out who I would have liked to see.) I would have been grounded for life if I had done any of those things as a child--and I'd be absolutely mortified to find out my child had done any of those things. I find it hard to believe anyone would say, "It's the spirit of halloween--just go with it!" if it was their child.

We're in a new neighborhood this year. I'm hopeful that kids are more polite this time around.

Yep, your kid can't say thank you for whatever reason? Say it for them, as the parent. Show some appreciation - - your child is not entitled to the candy just because they exist. People don't HAVE to give them candy.

I've never had a problem with kids not saying please and/or Thank you.... Probably because I ask the child to say it, and if they can't, I've never had a parent get upset about it - - they just say "s/he's non-verbal/other language/whatever"

But yes, I am that butch that expects your kid to have manners if they can, and if you as a parent aren't going to teach them that, I will while they're getting free **** from me.

Saying thanks doesnt mean they actually mean it btw. I would much rather a kid feel grateful even if they don't show it then just say thanks because its routine.

I won't give a 7 month old a chocolate bar for their parents to eat. Or if the parents are giving the 7month old chocolate, and I'm not going to condone that, it's not what I feel comfortable with. And hey, it's me candy. I can do that.

Its been said if I don't like it, I don't have to participate.
Well, if you don't like your kids having to say please and thank you, you don't have to participate. It goes both ways.

Except people get mad that *I* say it for him and dont prompt him without knowing our issues. I actually flew off the handle at one lady once Who told me we were just lazy for not working with him and Im just lazy for doing it for him. She caught me on a bad day and she found out. Which was not good at ALL because it stressed Morgan out and I ended up taking him to ice cream because I felt bad. :doh:

I don't care if they mean it or not. Its MANNERS. As far as I see if, don't have rude kids and you won't run into the problem with people expecting manners. (general you, not specifically anybody here)

eta: and as stated in my other posts, there are some exemptions, yes.

Its supposed to be fun and for kids....its not about adults and what they want other peoples children to be. I just find it weird to be self righteous about Halloween. I love giving out candy, I love the excitement, I love the magic of it. I could care less if the kid is going to eat it, or if they dont say thank you, etc. Its ridiculous IMO to make "rules" about which kids deserve candy.

(and I personally do say thank you for my children if they dont, but I would NEVER expect it...to me expecting and demanding it is more rude than not giving it in the first place)

We give out full size king size candy bars. Excuse me for thinking that a candy bar that is almost as long as your baby isn't baby appropriate.

I get if you want to walk around and show off your baby. I get it be a proud parent.

But don't expect free things for yourself on a child's holiday.

Asking Morgan to say it ends up sometimes causing a melt down so I actually would be upset if someone asked him. He gets frustrated with it and either takes it out on him, throws a tantrum or takes it out on me.

ETA: I obviously wouldnt tell the person that but I would stew quietly LOL.

They're getting candy for free- them saying thank you SHOULD be sincere.

My sister and I always said thanks when someone gave us something- it's just manners. When kids become functioning adults they're expected to say "thanks" even they don't really mean it. I mean, I can go through self checkout at the grocery store and sometimes it's quicker than having a cashier ring me up. Should I stop saying "thank you" when a cashier hands me a receipt because I don't reaaaaallly mean it? No, because then I'd be a rude customer.

If your kid feels grateful on the inside, than you should especially say "thanks" and be sincere. No one HAS to give free candy out.

I'm not talking about kids with different circumstances, however, I do think a parent SHOULD be with them to say thanks for them.

I disagree that its a teachable moment! For many kids they're way over the top excited and it is going in one ear and out the other. Its like taking your Labrador to the dog park once a year and wondering why they're acting like an idiot

Sure, its nice if the parents can prompt them before they run off, but honestly I'm just glad they don't start bawling because someone told the overly shy kid to say please and thank you.

The point is you dont know which kids have different circumstances.

So you should be preemptive , have quite a few parents like here there too.

Exactly- that's why their parents or an adult should be with them to help.

How dare you ask that a parent be there to watch/pay attention to their kids

Well, I am just thankful I have fun neighbors who understand kids are kids, when overexcited and aroused they don't always put their best self forward. Model behavior you want but forcing it is not ok.

And I'm glad to live in an area that understands that manners are important regardless of age.