Girly Stuff

Google OSMW, or overly sensitive military wives, you'll see all kinds of entertaining nonsense that spouses and girlfriends pull.

Yes, this. I'm honestly surprised I didn't attempt and succeed suicide. Mood swings were intense and I seriously plotted suicide more often than I'd like to admit.

Never heard of it.

I like you sane and not wanting to kill yourself. No Yaz for you. Can your backup plan be to move to CO? We can be insane together!

So, I want to talk about last night. . . and have feedback if any of you feel like it.

I went hiking on Sunday, ran into this guy (he's cute!) and hiked the rest of the hike with him. afterwards we had lunch together. He seemed fun, but we have nothing in common whatsoever. That's probably my fault, as all I talk about is dogs and cars.

He asked me out to Circue du Soleil - their Amaluna play. I was torn on accepting or not, but I switched shifts with my coworkers and went because everyone told me to just go out and have fun because I was over-thinking it.

He picked me up from work, it was fun. . . the play was great and I think he's entertaining.

Problem number one: I don't understand dating etiquette. I really, really, don't.

Problem number two: He's a little touchy feely. That ties into number one - is it proper etiquette to lean against your date? Or share a drink with them? Or attempt to kiss them? I realize it's a guy thing to be a little pushy, but I tried to make my boundaries clear, and when we agreed on a hug goodnight there was an attempted kiss after I also made it clear I wasn't drinking after him. I think that's a little bit much, and definitely rubbed me the wrong way.

Problem number three: I think I keep coming back to the same **** thing. I don't want to date a guy. I kept checking out all the hot women, and I think I may have checked out one guy. There's a distinct lack of interest there.

He wants to know if we're going on date number two, and invited Moo & me hiking, but I'm not sure how to respond. I'm thinking no to the date and maybe yes to the hike. Or was the hiking thing a date? I have no clue.

There are a lot of other issues with this, but I'm out of time.

I've only tried Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo, but I've done really, really well on it so far. I went from 2-3 periods per year to very predictable periods every 28-30 days, which I like (don't have to worry about being pregnant while waiting for the next period, lol). The first month or so I had some nausea problems, but it turns out there was also something harmful in my water supply, so I'm not sure which it's from...

My only complaint is that I've gained weight despite no changes in exercise or diet. Not sure if it's due to the BC or not, but I started gaining about a month after I started taking it. I've been on it for a year this month and I've put on about 40lbs.

The attempted kiss after you made it clear you didn't want to would really bother me. Dis-regarding boundaries is not cool. I wouldn't go on the hike if you're not interested in him - he'll probably just take it as a sign that you're playing hard to get and he should try harder.

I think it's NOT ok to ignore boundaries you set...especially on a "first date". Especially.

If you don't want to date a guy...or don't want to date THIS guy, don't. You don't have to (keep that in mind).

I would not go hiking if you're not interested...if he's already pushing boundaries, then he may not "get" that the hike is ok, but it's not a date. OR you can have that awkward talk with him about not wanting to date - but I prefer to avoid that at all costs lol

Sounds like he thinks the hiking thing would be a date. I'd tell him thanks, it was fun, but future dates will not be happening. He may be sort of an awkward dater and pushes more than he realizes or he may be a complete tool who doesn't like to take NO for an answer. Cut it off now.

Absolutely agreed, and also agreed with Zoom. Best to just cut it off now.

That's so stupid! I think it is great that you are a "Military GF". I know a lot of people who wouldn't do that just because it is more difficult. I think you are very intelligent for wanting to be with someone who you actually like and are happy with. Screw her. Lol!

Um, no. Touchy feely **** on the first date? That guy can sod off, IMO. Deliberately crossing the few boundaries initially set, just for the hell of it, doesn't bode well for future interactions. Ugh. I hate people who insist on touching all the time.

Nolu, I wish you lived closer!

1.) MY ****ING FACE AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. I have three mosquito bites and three zits mucking it all up, and I'm at my wit's end. I use a salicylic acid wash and toner on the zits, which improves the situation (but slowly) but I have no idea what to put on the skeeter bites. It's so ugly. Help me.

2.) My henna hair has reached the point where it's so saturated with pigment, it looks almost purple. Score. It's been almost one week.

3.) I'm going to a concert in six days with a dude I'm kind of interested in. I need suggestions for stay-put makeup. It's a death metal show and I intend to be in the pit, sweating it up, but I still wanna be able to clean up and look kinda cute afterwards. Especially if I get to meet the band. Eeeee. So yeah, waterproof makeups?

Never at a death metal show but at the gym...
This for face:
http://www.sephora.com/all-nighter-long-lasting-makeup-setting-spray-P263504?skuId=1458173

This for eye primer:
http://www.sephora.com/eyeshadow-primer-potion-tube-original-P284716?skuId=1325547

This for liner:
http://www.sephora.com/24-7-waterproof-liquid-eyeliner-P292015?skuId=1348697

And this for mascara:
http://www.sephora.com/diorshow-black-out-waterproof-mascara-P212928?skuId=1078138

With the primer potion for lids you should be able to use pretty much any high-quality shadow.
Use your favourite foundation (no time to be testing out something new, you don't want a bad reaction) and set it with powder, then the finishing spray.

I know it's a thing, but I didn't realize it was as big of a thing that they have a name for it .

Oh god, this is the worst. I feel like I'm going to end up on that show "I didn't know I was pregnant". And I use protection but I still worry. I quite like not having periods though, for what it's worth.

I'm not using any birth control right now, and I won't unless I'm in a steady relationship. If I do end up in one I'm interested in the depo shots and the implanon or IUD. I hate pills, I don't remember to take them, I don't want my period every 30 days, and I get bad headaches. The nuva ring/mirena wigs me out, my uterus is messed up enough I don't think it is a good idea to have something up there long term . My only problem with depo is that if something goes wrong...I can't 'stop' taking it, or have it removed, or whatever. And I also have to remember to go to the doctor to get it.

Pretty much what crazed said. Sticking a circle in me to prevent pregnancy just seems weird to me. Might consider a shot or something. Depends on how my visit goes. I would like to have the option to have kids.

I was on Seasonale and things were okay. But I think it messed up my system even more than it was before.

A lot will depend on this appointment.

Thanks

I had NO idea that that was even a "thing". If anything him being in the military was one of my biggest reservations for even dating him... he makes the distance and everything else worth it but I can't imagine going LOOKING for that. Girls do that?! WHY?! I mean insurance I get it sort of but is it really worth it I mean ****..

it's just a complicated situation. He is great for me and I'm so happy, even with the distance..
but do I want that life for myself one day? I really like him, I know I'm starting to love him.. he feels the same way. and I just.. do I really want that?
On one hand I totally want it, I want to be his girlfriend, my life is better with him in it, I am happier than I've ever been with a guy.
On the other.. him being a marine is complicated

I started reading all this stuff about "milsos" and "tag chasers" and everything else and now I'm more scared than ever. It's like this secret world I knew NOTHING about and I don't feel equipped.

I really really like him.. like, I just like having him around, he makes me a better version of myself, I am happy when he's happy, he just..gets me.. the way very few people do. He just might be my best friend.

but I just..wish he wasn't in the military.
Is that wrong?
ugh.

Thanks. I like me like that too. Backup plan is still CO. We'll see how the next 6 months pan out, but I think that is still my endgame plan regardless. Seems like everyone should just move to CO!

And no touchy feely. Nope. That would rub me the wrong way too.

It isn't wrong Fran. *hugs* It's a lot like the dog world if it makes you feel better. There's gossip and negativity but if you stay away from it you don't have to deal with it. Let them stay in their own crappool and I hope it makes you feel better that you aren't anything like them. I understand having a SO in the military sucks major. Take your time with it, and if you need to just look at it as another long distance job until you're more ready to deal with it. To be honest, I never got into that world in the whole 2 years Jin and I were married. I didn't think about it, I didn't socialize with anyone near the base or who he worked with and it treated me just fine.

(I mean, except for him ending up insane, but that part doesn't apply to just the military.)

no, it's not wrong at all. My bestfriend is married to a military man. And before she married him she was feeling the same way as you are. Actually he stopped being in the military after his tour for her, but both of them realized that being in the military is who he is and what he was born for so he regoined and they are both happier for it.

Also, they will be trying their hardest to
Never live on the base. They own their own home away from the base right now and plan on doing that again if they move.

She does know that life might get shifted and they might have to move eventually because of her job, but she has accepted it. And lucky for her, her career is moveable.

I think having that kind of lifestyle is something you have to think long and hard about, but if you really feel this guy is something really special. He might just be worth it.

The nuvaring does NOT go in your uterus. There's no medical insertion or anything, you stick it in your vagina for 3 weeks(the muscles hold it in place, and you can take it out briefly during sex) then leave it out for a week for your period, then put a new one in.

It's the only BC I've tried that didn't give me horrid side effects, but alas, can't use it while breastfeeding and the copay was expensive for me.

I'm trying the mini pill now, and if it goes ok, will get the mirena or implanon. I'm thinking implanon but don't want to deal with breakthrough bleeding. The though of an IUD REALLY wigs me out, though.

Thank you for all the input, everyone. <3

That was what I was worried about. Oh well. I'm not very comfortable with the idea of a second date with him.

Okay, so good to know I wasn't missing out on some sort of etiquette thing where that's normal.

I wish you lived closer to me, too! Why don't you move here? You've been everywhere so far, why not live somewhere beautiful where there are tons of jobs and a low cost of living? And think of all the hiking and swimming and camping you and Eve could do! You could at least come visit. Zoom has a spare bedroom. I have enough floor space for an air mattress, as well. But there are more dogs here.

1. Toothpaste. I cured my crazy breakouts with toothpaste. My face looked like a teenage boy's. Now it's clear-ish. Try it on the bug bites, too - what's the worst that could happen?

2. SCORE. Pics needed.

Doo eeet! Everyone should move here. We should have a giant chaz meetup this winter - everyone should book a ticket for a week or two and go skiing and hiking and stuff. It would be fun!

Ew. Super good point.

Agreed.

I actually think I don't want to "date" anyone. I just want a casual ****buddy. I was thinking about it more today, and while occasionally I miss waking up next to someone and having a glass of wine and a hug waiting for me when I get home from work, I don't miss it enough to justify a relationship. Part of what I'm loving about being here, in a totally new state, with barely anyone I know is that I don't have to compromise. When I seek out new experiences and have new adventures I get to do it by myself, or jut with Middie. I'm independent again and I feel like I lost so much of that being in a LTR. I don't like asking permission or making plans only to find out that, whoops, I already had them made for me that night.

On Valentines Day I was supposed to go out with my coworkers - we all looked at the date, realized it was the 14th and that we had to go home and spend it with our SOs. We simultaneously started cussing about it because it was the only convenient day and we'd rather be hanging out with each other - that was one of those defining moments for me when I was certain that I was making the right decision to move here.

I miss physical contact and I miss getting laid. My sex drive finally came back after the last year of feeling like I wasn't sexy or desirable. I felt rejected and like I wasn't worthy of anyone's attention. That took my sex drive from "yay! 6x a day!" to "maybe twice a month." Not being into having sex drive made me crappy in bed, so then I developed a complex over thinking that I was awful in bed.

So, now that I'm back I need a FWB. Or a not-friend with benefits. And she needs to be awesome. I'm not sure how to go about finding that. If you say you're just interested in sex it tends to attract the wrong type of person. . . but I don't want to go on a "date" with someone under the premise that I'm interested in dating them when I don't want a romantic relationship.

I'm so incompetent at this.I don't even know where to start.


Have I turned this into Nolu's venting/musing thread now? I feel like I should start paying you all for therapy sessions. . .

I meant a year, not a week LOL.

I need your number Nolu. Why I'm stuck here is such a long, complicated story, rife with boundless stupidity on my part! I'd really like to move, but erry time I get close to doing it, I pussy out.