IF a middle school councilor
- Thread starter smkie
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This wasn't a consoling touch though. It's the opposite of consoling, design to throw a kid off balance, make them uncomfortable and hopefully disarm them.
It was a familiar touch combined with a reprimand. If a female counselor put her hand on my child's knee, leaned in close to their face and started in on them, I'd be up in their face making them back off. That's just, eww. That goes for whether my child is male or female. It doesn't really have to do with gender/molestation in this case, it has to do with what is and isn't professional. And it's not professional.
The part where it gets into zomgpedofile!!!!11 is the part where the male counselor is using crappy judgement and putting himself in a situation to be accused. Which is really stupid on his part.
It was a familiar touch combined with a reprimand. If a female counselor put her hand on my child's knee, leaned in close to their face and started in on them, I'd be up in their face making them back off. That's just, eww. That goes for whether my child is male or female. It doesn't really have to do with gender/molestation in this case, it has to do with what is and isn't professional. And it's not professional.
The part where it gets into zomgpedofile!!!!11 is the part where the male counselor is using crappy judgement and putting himself in a situation to be accused. Which is really stupid on his part.
I know I would've felt uncomfortable. I've never had a father figure around me, so I'm a little skiddish around older males(that aren't related), and that with the combo of watchingL&O SVU...yeah, I would've definitely felt weird. Being the age that I am now, I also would've gotten up immediately and said something to him.
But Hyia is a little girl(actually, she's growing up too fast!)...I can't speak for all kids, but I know that at her age, I probably wouldn't have said anything to the counselor himself.
But Hyia is a little girl(actually, she's growing up too fast!)...I can't speak for all kids, but I know that at her age, I probably wouldn't have said anything to the counselor himself.
Well glad you read that edit clarifying my statement. 
Again, not saying this girl is a victim. I was speaking to a type of mindset.
They are all about talking a talk of standing up to authority. I'd wager most, in a private situation, would not actually stand up for themselves or say anything. Heck, most adults wouldn't.
Again, not saying this girl is a victim. I was speaking to a type of mindset. They are all about talking a talk of standing up to authority. I'd wager most, in a private situation, would not actually stand up for themselves or say anything. Heck, most adults wouldn't.
It's also the job of the caregiving adults to step in and shield their CHILDREN from situations they aren't emotionally developed enough to handle yet.
Oh yeah. I forgot, your parents taught you everything you need to know to be an autonomous adult by age 7.
Smkie did a wonderful job stepping in for Hyia, because she is an amazing parent who gives a ****.
ETA: Children are conditioned specifically to trust and obey adults in authority positions (like the councilor) regardless of how uncomfortable it makes them feel. It's a pretty huge stretch to assume that a 12 year old will have the maturity to recognize that this person in authority is doing something inappropriate and call them out on it as it's happening.
Maybe if it was a stranger, but not someone they're used to obeying. That's why child molesters are generally someone the kids know well and it's not usually a total stranger. The kids are less likely to call a familiar authority figure out. (NOT saying this guy is a molester, just that's how the dynamic works as far as speaking out against an adult's behavior).
Oh yeah. I forgot, your parents taught you everything you need to know to be an autonomous adult by age 7.
Smkie did a wonderful job stepping in for Hyia, because she is an amazing parent who gives a ****.
ETA: Children are conditioned specifically to trust and obey adults in authority positions (like the councilor) regardless of how uncomfortable it makes them feel. It's a pretty huge stretch to assume that a 12 year old will have the maturity to recognize that this person in authority is doing something inappropriate and call them out on it as it's happening.
Maybe if it was a stranger, but not someone they're used to obeying. That's why child molesters are generally someone the kids know well and it's not usually a total stranger. The kids are less likely to call a familiar authority figure out. (NOT saying this guy is a molester, just that's how the dynamic works as far as speaking out against an adult's behavior).
S
No, I'm pretty sure I didn't miss the point.
WHAT "victim!?" There is no VICTIM here, FFS.
You know what? Seriously, it's people like you and some others in this thread that make me, as a man, feel like parents are looking at me like I'm a creeper if I so much as glance over at some kids playing on the school playground while I'm sitting at the park with my dog.
Apparently being born with outdoor plumbing put him in enough of a situation to be accused, because...
"That's different." No, it wasn't consoling, but it IS normal human body language to touch another person while confronting them.
WHAT "victim!?" There is no VICTIM here, FFS.
You know what? Seriously, it's people like you and some others in this thread that make me, as a man, feel like parents are looking at me like I'm a creeper if I so much as glance over at some kids playing on the school playground while I'm sitting at the park with my dog.
Apparently being born with outdoor plumbing put him in enough of a situation to be accused, because...
"That's different." No, it wasn't consoling, but it IS normal human body language to touch another person while confronting them.
AHMEN Romy and Renee , I think they just dont know because they haven't been around to know the back story.
EDIT:: Seven , i do see how you could feel that away , and I get why you are arguing the point , but it is just the way the world turns now a days .
For the record though I WATCH , like BIRD DOG WATCH anyone at a playground that does not have kids.
Now in a regular park then yeah they dont get the staring treatment , but just hanging around a playground around kids , yeah creepy also.
Hate to be this way , but it is just the way it is.
EDIT:: Seven , i do see how you could feel that away , and I get why you are arguing the point , but it is just the way the world turns now a days .
For the record though I WATCH , like BIRD DOG WATCH anyone at a playground that does not have kids.
Now in a regular park then yeah they dont get the staring treatment , but just hanging around a playground around kids , yeah creepy also.
Hate to be this way , but it is just the way it is.
S
If this is not a "normal" 12 year old then the OP failed to disclose details about THIS particular 12 year old that some of us wouldn't know, and how were these not "normal" circumstances aside from the fact that apparently, said 12 year old was being confronted by a school counselor for allegedly lying?
Well glad you read that edit clarifying my statement. Again, not saying this girl is a victim. I was speaking to a type of mindset.
They are all about talking a talk of standing up to authority. I'd wager most, in a private situation, would not actually stand up for themselves or say anything. Heck, most adults wouldn't.
Again, not saying this girl is a victim. I was speaking to a type of mindset. They are all about talking a talk of standing up to authority. I'd wager most, in a private situation, would not actually stand up for themselves or say anything. Heck, most adults wouldn't.
A type of mindset when there is no victim, yes. Mindsets do change with different situations. Plus, I wasn't really blaming the kid, not her fault she was t taught to speak up. I disk even say it would have stopped, I say it may have been (or cLuke have been or something like that).
We've obviously grown up in very different areas -- kids i was in school with had no issue standing up to the authorities or whatever.
That's weird, I wonder if it's like people have suggested here where it's a gender difference or if it's a regional difference.
I have never seen someone lay hands on another person in a confrontation unless it was going to escalate into a full out altercation. Ever. That in my mind makes it totally unprofessional for a school official to do to a student.
I have never seen someone lay hands on another person in a confrontation unless it was going to escalate into a full out altercation. Ever. That in my mind makes it totally unprofessional for a school official to do to a student.
It's also the job of the caregiving adults to step in and shield their CHILDREN from situations they aren't emotionally developed enough to handle yet.
Oh yeah. I forgot, your parents taught you everything you need to know to be an autonomous adult by age 7.
Smkie did a wonderful job stepping in for Hyia, because she is an amazing parent who gives a ****.
ETA: Children are conditioned specifically to trust and obey adults in authority positions (like the councilor) regardless of how uncomfortable it makes them feel. It's a pretty huge stretch to assume that a 12 year old will have the maturity to recognize that this person in authority is doing something inappropriate and call them out on it as it's happening.
Maybe if it was a stranger, but not someone they're used to obeying. That's why child molesters are generally someone the kids know well and it's not usually a total stranger. The kids are less likely to call a familiar authority figure out. (NOT saying this guy is a molester, just that's how the dynamic works as far as speaking out against an adult's behavior).
Oh yeah. I forgot, your parents taught you everything you need to know to be an autonomous adult by age 7.
Smkie did a wonderful job stepping in for Hyia, because she is an amazing parent who gives a ****.
ETA: Children are conditioned specifically to trust and obey adults in authority positions (like the councilor) regardless of how uncomfortable it makes them feel. It's a pretty huge stretch to assume that a 12 year old will have the maturity to recognize that this person in authority is doing something inappropriate and call them out on it as it's happening.
Maybe if it was a stranger, but not someone they're used to obeying. That's why child molesters are generally someone the kids know well and it's not usually a total stranger. The kids are less likely to call a familiar authority figure out. (NOT saying this guy is a molester, just that's how the dynamic works as far as speaking out against an adult's behavior).
this.
What a frustrating view on society.
Would I be uncomfortable? Maybe. It would have to be by the case. At 12 I was easily taken advantage of, I wasn't a confident, strong, knowing child.
I still find it unsettling how drastically sterile we're becoming as a society and this is coming from someone who hates to be touched by most everyone in most every situation, but I'm F.I.N.E.
What a frustrating view on society.
Would I be uncomfortable? Maybe. It would have to be by the case. At 12 I was easily taken advantage of, I wasn't a confident, strong, knowing child.
I still find it unsettling how drastically sterile we're becoming as a society and this is coming from someone who hates to be touched by most everyone in most every situation, but I'm F.I.N.E.