Breastfeeding in public
- Thread starter JacksonsMom
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My best friend is nursing a 40lb 2 year old and her breasts are bigger than my head. You can only imagine the looks she gets. People could very well think "WHOA, SHE IS DOING THAT TO PROVE A POINT HOW GROSS!" but really, she is terrified to even leave her house because of how she gets treated when they are out and her son asks to nurse.
To be shamed and treated like you are sexually abusing your child when you are doing something so natural is insane. The general public is nasty about it and yet all she is trying to do is meet a need her son has.
It's sad.
To be shamed and treated like you are sexually abusing your child when you are doing something so natural is insane. The general public is nasty about it and yet all she is trying to do is meet a need her son has.
It's sad.
It doesn't seem like Jackson's mom has a problem with breast feeding- just the idea of breast feeding in public.
I'm fine with people breast feeding in public, but I definitely think there is a time and a place for it. A mom's room, a daycare room, a bench off to the side in the mall, etc... to me, those are places that I would nurse. I couldn't imagine just walking through a store and doing it, but that's just me. Then again, I'm fairly modest with my body.
I'm fine with people breast feeding in public, but I definitely think there is a time and a place for it. A mom's room, a daycare room, a bench off to the side in the mall, etc... to me, those are places that I would nurse. I couldn't imagine just walking through a store and doing it, but that's just me. Then again, I'm fairly modest with my body.
My best friend is nursing a 40lb 2 year old and her breasts are bigger than my head. You can only imagine the looks she gets. People could very well think "WHOA, SHE IS DOING THAT TO PROVE A POINT HOW GROSS!" but really, she is terrified to even leave her house because of how she gets treated when they are out and her son asks to nurse.
To be shamed and treated like you are sexually abusing your child when you are doing something so natural is insane. The general public is nasty about it and yet all she is trying to do is meet a need her son has.
It's sad.
To be shamed and treated like you are sexually abusing your child when you are doing something so natural is insane. The general public is nasty about it and yet all she is trying to do is meet a need her son has.
It's sad.
The thing about this situation... its not REALLY in public. It's in a *daycare*, where the employees should want the best for the child -- which means that the parent should be able to breastfeed without being judged. I'm sure she's not doing it just to be like "LOOK I STILL BREASTFEED" and I'm sure she'd have no problem if you looked away while she was doing it.
As far as "its not like the kids hungry"...what? Did the baby tell you that? Cause I'm sure if it wasn't hungry, it wouldn't be eating. I'm sure the mother knows when her kid should eat, and 4 hours is kind of normal as far as time without feeding...
As far as "its not like the kids hungry"...what? Did the baby tell you that? Cause I'm sure if it wasn't hungry, it wouldn't be eating. I'm sure the mother knows when her kid should eat, and 4 hours is kind of normal as far as time without feeding...
While I understand the point behind this argument, I find it illogical when people argue for breast feeding in public by saying it's "natural", therefore it should be accepted. There are a lot of things that are natural/normal, that we don't do in public. Like pooping/peeing, having sex, giving birth, orgasming... So saying "it's natural" as a point to me, just isn't a logical argument.
My main objection is women who are nasty/sloppy about it. There was a woman in a Starbucks where I live who was breast feeding her child (who was old enough to be STANDING next to her while she fed) and the child kept letting go, spitting milk all over the place, hitting the woman's breasts and shoving them around... I mean, c'mon. To me, that's just deplorable and there is a certain amount of respect you should have for the general public around you. You shouldn't not cover up just because "you don't have to". To me, that's just being spiteful and immature about the whole thing. Now, the women who are neat about it...somewhat quiet and off to the side and not making a scene of themselves, I see no issue with. But most women don't do that. Most women parade it around like somehow they are better than the rest of us because they can do that. Really? No.
My main objection is women who are nasty/sloppy about it. There was a woman in a Starbucks where I live who was breast feeding her child (who was old enough to be STANDING next to her while she fed) and the child kept letting go, spitting milk all over the place, hitting the woman's breasts and shoving them around... I mean, c'mon. To me, that's just deplorable and there is a certain amount of respect you should have for the general public around you. You shouldn't not cover up just because "you don't have to". To me, that's just being spiteful and immature about the whole thing. Now, the women who are neat about it...somewhat quiet and off to the side and not making a scene of themselves, I see no issue with. But most women don't do that. Most women parade it around like somehow they are better than the rest of us because they can do that. Really? No.
I babywear still a lot and you can discreetly nurse pretty easily that way. I only ever had one man even notice I was breastfeeding in public and he was creepy. He came over and got way too close for comfort and i was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET AWAY FROM MY BABY
And yes it is sad. I can understand starring. Its not every day you see that big of a child being nursed. However, to accuse someone of committing the equivilant of molestation is really out of hand. I think thats why there are so many "F U I DO THIS TO PROVE A POINT" type of nursing moms. They get treated pretty poorly especially when they nurse older babies + toddlers. They feel the need to push back.
And yes it is sad. I can understand starring. Its not every day you see that big of a child being nursed. However, to accuse someone of committing the equivilant of molestation is really out of hand. I think thats why there are so many "F U I DO THIS TO PROVE A POINT" type of nursing moms. They get treated pretty poorly especially when they nurse older babies + toddlers. They feel the need to push back.
Ummm wow. Ok, so Jacksonsmom never said "BAN ALL BREASTFEEDING MOMS FROM PUBLIC" while grabbing a pitchfork. She was talking about one person that makes a big deal about it and goes about it in a fashion that she and others find rude. Yeah, she's making assumptions about her but those are based on being around her multiple times.
I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility this women is being overboard out of some weird idea to compete, push it in their faces or whatever. I mean, I work in a pharmacy and we get people in who try their hardest to make you incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that they have a catheter. Some people are just jerks to be jerks and rude to be rude.
No where in there did I see her say anything about being against it. Just that she wasn't exposed to it a lot and this women was going about it with an attitude that rubbed her and all her fellow works the wrong way.
On the subject, that would annoy me but as a general rule it doesn't bother me as long as it's gone about with the same courtesy they expect back
I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility this women is being overboard out of some weird idea to compete, push it in their faces or whatever. I mean, I work in a pharmacy and we get people in who try their hardest to make you incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that they have a catheter. Some people are just jerks to be jerks and rude to be rude.
No where in there did I see her say anything about being against it. Just that she wasn't exposed to it a lot and this women was going about it with an attitude that rubbed her and all her fellow works the wrong way.
On the subject, that would annoy me but as a general rule it doesn't bother me as long as it's gone about with the same courtesy they expect back
I find it strange because I'm not used to it, but I'm not aggravated by it. I think we had a thread like this before and I'm not really stoked about it in a somewhat higher-end restaurant, and in a proper nice restaurant I don't think it's really appropriate (nit a good idea to bring a baby anyways). I haven't seen anyone being obscene about it lol and it really rates very very low on my care meter.
This woman is a bit whacky in other ways.... so I think that contributes to our feeling too. She sits there and tries to talk to us while breastfeeding while we're trying to watch 20-30 other kids sometimes. We don't have time for that! This isn't like a "normal" daycare. It's a TINY room and every other parent just brings their kid in, drops them off, goes and works out for about an hour or two, and comes back and picks them up. She's also one of the only people besides staff who leaves her two kids there for almost the whole time we're open. Which is fine, whatever, they're paying for it. But we don't have time to sit and communicate with every one in full conversations. It's not like she's going off into the corner to breastfeed and not talk to anyone lol.
All I meant by saying the kid is not hungry, is that it's not like she's crying/whining/acting like she needs to be fed, AND like I said, she has a bottle which she always drinks all of during the time period she's there as well.
All I meant by saying the kid is not hungry, is that it's not like she's crying/whining/acting like she needs to be fed, AND like I said, she has a bottle which she always drinks all of during the time period she's there as well.
That's fine and dandy, but the story was that the mother tries to hold a conversation with a person who is uncomfortable. How is she supposed to look away?
Breastfeeding makes me uncomfortable. I would be awfully uncomfortable to have to try and hold a conversation with someone who is breastfeeding. It's not because it's a boob but like someone said, it's a personal moment between the child and mother, I don't want to be a part of that.
Breastfeeding makes me uncomfortable. I would be awfully uncomfortable to have to try and hold a conversation with someone who is breastfeeding. It's not because it's a boob but like someone said, it's a personal moment between the child and mother, I don't want to be a part of that.
Personally, I don't care.
Being confrontation and drawing attention to oneself would annoy me no matter what the person was doing. If the person was waving a bottle around and daring everyone to confront her about bottle-feeding her baby, I would think that was equally weird.
I was at a family event recently in which there was a big commotion over finding a new nursing mother a private place to nurse. She had a cover and all that and I can't imagine how anyone would have seen anything even if they tried but she sequestered herself into a dark corner of the house behind two closed doors so no one could possibly walk in on the nursing and be traumatized. The sheer level of hush-hush around it (yet making sure everyone knew) was much more weird than having her just feed the baby where she was lol.
That said I do prefer the mother make some attempt to cover up or turn away if she can't cover. At least in U.S. society, many people are not comfortable with public displays of that nature and most mothers are perfectly well aware of that whether they agree or not.
Common courtesy goes both ways IMO
But hey I don't have kids what could I know?
Being confrontation and drawing attention to oneself would annoy me no matter what the person was doing. If the person was waving a bottle around and daring everyone to confront her about bottle-feeding her baby, I would think that was equally weird.
I was at a family event recently in which there was a big commotion over finding a new nursing mother a private place to nurse. She had a cover and all that and I can't imagine how anyone would have seen anything even if they tried but she sequestered herself into a dark corner of the house behind two closed doors so no one could possibly walk in on the nursing and be traumatized. The sheer level of hush-hush around it (yet making sure everyone knew) was much more weird than having her just feed the baby where she was lol.
That said I do prefer the mother make some attempt to cover up or turn away if she can't cover. At least in U.S. society, many people are not comfortable with public displays of that nature and most mothers are perfectly well aware of that whether they agree or not.
Common courtesy goes both ways IMO
But hey I don't have kids what could I know?
I'd have a difficult time holding a conversation with someone who was breastfeeding as well. Personally, I'd go into a quiet area and nurse my baby. I plan on breast feeding, but I will be discreet about it. It's a lovely connection between a mother and child... not between the mother/child/world.
I'd feel uncomfortable watching people have sex, and that's every bit as natural (and a personal connection) as breast feeding. It's necessary (sex = keeping our species alive), but I feel like there is a time and place for it.
I'd feel uncomfortable watching people have sex, and that's every bit as natural (and a personal connection) as breast feeding. It's necessary (sex = keeping our species alive), but I feel like there is a time and place for it.