Not sure what to do

I've been struggling with this for a long time. I just don't know what to do. With Dustin unable to work, and me nursing and only able to work part time on weekends, it isn't likely we'll find an apartment that allows animals anytime soon - especially not three (our two cats and Cocoa).

I'm just so torn. We could care for her if she could live with us. We don't have fleas, I could feed her, and I could afford basic vet care. I even have money set aside that I don't allow myself to touch in case there is ever an emergency with her. But the problem is we CAN'T have her here with us. DH's grandmother hates animals. She's met my dog, She's seen that I keep her clean. She knows she hardly sheds at all (cockers hair all comes out when grooming, shaving, bathing) unlike the cats. She knows how well behaved she is. She knows how upset it makes me over the thought of rehoming her. But still, she hates dogs and won't allow it. It's her house, there's nothing I can do about that.

Cocoa's really not in any real need for a new home. She's got plenty to eat, she gets attention (though she really misses me), she's groomed and ears cleaned. She's taken care of. She's still on moderate/good quality food, and she's on flea treatment. Sometimes I just wonder if the grass could be greener for her, you know? Sometimes I wonder if I could just find a temporary home for her until we have a place of our own, but that's not likely. If she was being neglected, I couldn't care for her, I'd rehome her in a heartbeat. It's just that I have the means to care for her, and she is cared for, she just doesn't live with me. Anyone want a friendly, bubbly cocker spaniel until we can find a place and could take her? *sigh*

Do you get to visit her where she is now?.

Yes. She's living at my mom's house. I'm there usually about once a week, but when I do visit it usually isn't all that long. Not nearly long enough. I truly hardly see her but to make sure her ears are cleaned and she gets a good petting once a week. The thought of rehoming her tears my heart apart. She's my baby. My heartdog. I envisioned my children having her as their first family dog.

As long as she is in good hands now then I would wait until you can get your own place. Even if the place does not allow dogs you may want to ask the landlord to make an exception. Let the prospective landlord meet the dog and if she has a CGC certificate it might make it easier. My landlord's agreement said no pets but I had told her about my cat that I had upfront and that part was crossed out. She also was ok with Lola when I adopted her and I adopted Lola after I had moved in and was living here about a year. Since my original cat passed away I told her I would like to get another cat and she said it was ok.

We now have four dogs living in the apartments out of 9 apartments total. I was the first and everyone else got their dog after I did. I think I might have started a trend :rofl1:

I think this could be a time where you have to set aside your emotions for a minute and think about what quality of life she's getting now. If you think she is fine living with your mother, well cared for, okay for her to stay with her mom, etc, then I say let her stay till you will be able to find a place. If living with her mother isn't doing well with her, than you might need to think of rehoming if you could find the right home for her. Or if you don't think you'll be able to leave the place you're staying now for a long time, then it might be in the dog's best interest to have a permanent home.

Either way, I think it's a choice only you and Dustin can make since you know what's best for your dog. ((hugs))

sorry... I dont' see an immediate need for her to be moved far away wher eyou won't be able to see her at all.

if you can afford basic vet care like you say you can then take her when it's nessecary. everything else seems to be taken care of.

what is the REAL reason you think she needs to be taken? really?

you say she is cared for just not living with you

what is the difference... if someone else takes her you won't be able to see her at all and she will get the care she needs.

I'm sorry... NOT ATTACKING. I'm just curious. what was the point of this post? you said she is cared for she just can't live with you so what difference does it make if she is with someone else?

Well, my mom's house does have fleas. She's on flea treatment, but she's not 100% flea free all the time. Frontline has to work hard to keep the fleas off her when other dogs (brother's dogs) have fleas. Other than that, it is just a matter of never hardly seeing her anyway. I guess it is just whenever I see one of my brother's dogs being neglected, I always wonder If I could do better for my dog. Truth is, my brothers dogs are the ones that should be rehomed. But my brother would never be selfless enough to think of anyone but himself.

I can tell that this is something that really worries you, because its come up before. I can't imagine if that were Maddie and I were in the situation you were in... that decision would be impossible for me to make. It is selfless, and I admire that. It might help to litterally make a list of pros and cons on paper, and talk it out with Dustin. You have a baby now, and its different than last time in that aspect...

You know if it comes down to it, I'm here. I could do that. But I'm not as close as your Mom's. I could send pics, but it wouldn't be the same (for you). But you know I spoil the dogs rotten, work with them daily, walk them, groom them myself, take them places, etc. But only you know your situation... We're just her for ideas and moral support
((((((hugs)))))))

And see, that's what I'm really afraid she's missing out on. She doesn't get a lot of individual attention because there are so many dogs. She hardly gets out of the house anymore. And she hardly sees me. Maybe that'll change once Mason gets a bit older and I get out of the house a little more often...

I just never want to her to go without the things she needs. I can buy her all the pigs ears, treats and toys her little heart could desire to try and make up for not being able to spoil her rotten with affection, but it isn't the same as lots of attention, walks, training, exercise and playing.

I'm sure every new parent struggles with trying to find time for both the animals and a new baby... I could be overreacting.

Believe me , it gets easier .

Not sure what the temps are like there, but can you put Mason in a stroller/bjorn/moby wrap and take her for a walk once a week or so? Dogs are pretty adaptable, it's humans who have to adjust to new routines and such

I think I'm going to try and do that. I know she'll really like that. And it'll give me some more exercise. Though I don't think it'll be warm enough until spring to take Mason with us on the walk. But that's okay, it'll give my mom some more time with him when we visit, and me some alone time with Cocoa.

Before I got really big & pregnant, I was at my mom's at least 2-3 times a week to see her. I think in time I'll start making it up often again, just need time to get Mason on a routine/schedule so I'm not too tired to go anywhere.