Lies dog owners tell...

I was just thinking of all the completely, utterly, obviously, blatantly incorrect things people have told me about their dog. I'm never sure if they're aware that they're lying, or if they're just misled, but the difference between what comes out of their mouth and what's radiating off their dog is often amazing - it'd be funny if it weren't scary.

The delusional
Claim: "He's friendly!"
Reality: He's frozen in place, rock solid and eye-f#cking us

The optimist
Claim: "He's scared of little dogs"
Reality: He's stalking the little dog in a way curiously reminiscent of a Nature special on cheetahs

The understated
Claim: "He's not very friendly"
Reality: He's hissing and crawling over mommy's shoulder to get closer to your face

The blind
Claim: "She loves kids!"
Reality: The kids are going down like bowling pins

The pitying
Claim: "He's shy"
Reality: He's staring you straight in the eye

The boastful
Claim: "He's game"
Reality: He once killed a Cocker Spaniel

The aggressive
Claim: "He's a (fill in scary breed) so watch out!"
Reality: He's clearly unaware he's supposed to be biting people

LOL! That list gave me a good laugh. But sadly, I know exactly what you mean by each of those.

A little peke mix tried to attack me at Petco one day. This little dog seriously charged me, barking and snarling. Only the leash stopped his attack. And what does the owner do? She picks up her dog, cuddles him and says "Doesn't he have the cutest little roar? He thinks he's a big dog!"

That's me. Our Berner loves kids. But he does sometimes knock them down like bowling pins when he's excited to see them.

The second part to that with some dogs is "She loves kids, they taste just like chicken!"

I love this! Been a long day... and just dealt with one of these owners today, (the understated) Needed the laugh!!

Eek, so many of those ring true to my experiences as well!

I heard a good lie today! I was out walking my babies when these two huge labs on tie outs started baring their teeth at my pups while basically foaming from the mouth! My pups kept walking, basically ignoring the dogs that wanted to eat them.. but Emma was whining and clearly scared. The dogs owner was outside doing some work and said to me... "hmm, they're usually very friendly" while scowling at me like I did something wrong!!!! I thought, okay right. My pups didnt even make eye contact or go near their yard. Friendly, yup okay.