UGH *vent*

darkchild16

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#1
I need to get this out because Im sick of hearing it and have no where else I can say it.

Do not complain to me how hard it is to take ONE kid somewhere that is like BOTH of my older kids. Grow a pair and learn how to keep him occupied so you can get things done. You have ONE kid and you let him control your life to the point you cant do things that NEED to be done. If you cant handle being a parent why did you have your kid.


Sorry Im just sick of hearing it from this person. Especially when they go on and on about how they need this certain stroller to keep a 2 year old in when they have 3 other ones at their house then comment on me wanting to get 2 cheap small strollers when I have 3 under 5 and only one LARGE stroller.

Just UGH

Anyway banana pudding to any who actually read this LOL
 

MicksMom

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#2
:hail: I hear ya.

Here's another "huh?"one for you- I had a Kindergarten parent tell me that watching her twin girls on the class trip to the zoo was harder than when she took her entire 5th grade class to the zoo the week before.
 

Paige

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#3
My friend rarely leaves the house. In the 4 years I've known her she has only come out my way twice. I think she just has a harder time with it than I do even though if you look at what we have to deal with it appears like iI should be more overwhelmed when I'm not.

Parents have different needs too and whatever they need to do to get through the day is their business. I sure as poop wouldn't let having kids get in the way of things I need to do. I just find a way and get it done. But I dont have help so I have to.
 

sparks19

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#4
Not all kids are created equal lol. I can take hannah anywhere. She is so mild mannered and laid back but a friend of mine has a boy the same age and he is a terror to take anywhere. Not because she lets him run her life or because she doesn't discipline him. He is just high spirited and hyper active.

Like my nephew when he was a kid. I could take ten Hannahs out at once and it would be a cake walk compared to trying to take only my nephew out lol
 

darkchild16

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#5
I get that twins are hard but harder then a entire 5th grade clas LMAO. My friend has twin girls that are 3 and a 1 year old and she takes them EVERYWHERE alone. Even on planes.

I take my three everywhere but girly appts with me. Savannah strapped to me, Morgan in the cart or holding my hand and Bev holding my hand or the cart or Morgans hand.

She lets him get away with sooooooo much though so he refuses to behave. Shes suppossed to go do something at the college so she can get her VA housing but HAS to have a 100 dollar (USED) stroller to take him.

Sparks bith Morgan and Bev are REALLY high spirited and I do it with Savannah. ;)
 

LindaJD

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#6
I learned early on not to let stuff like that bother me. For some reason many mothers are so defensive against other mothers. It's like a competition of who has it harder or who's kids are smarter. I just care of my own and didn't let others remarks get to me, if they need to think their kid is smarter or their kids are so tough to handle, it didn't effect me or my kids in anyway.
 

Paige

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#7
Tanya my kid does not listen and is freaking fast. He runs away at full speed. I'm very pregnant and have the joy of RUNNING after him when he is on the ground. Which is quite often. Gives me quite a workout hahaha. One less stop in the day. I no longer need to hit up a gym. ;)

Not just are kids not created equal but neither are the parents. WHat might be easy to you may not be easy to them.
 

Fran101

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#8
Honestly, I used to have no pity for these hermit stressed out people. I used to RESENT my friends who got pregnant and could never come out or never wanted to come on trips with us with their kid. I mean..everyone knows kids are messy, time consuming and stressful.. I mean did they NOT have a plan? or 9 months to prepare?

but as I've gotten older and started to look closer at what some mothers DO everyday.. some WITHOUT full time help.. whatever you need to get through the day.. do it.
Some people deal the only way they can to stay sane..by staying indoors, by seemingly giving up on discipline, by bribing, by sitting their kids in front of the TV.
Who knows? Maybe they have a really fussy baby, a neglectful husband, depression, regret..
and like you said, some people just CAN'T HANDLE IT. And do the best they can.. It's hard for people who are GOOD at being parents to see that because it's something that does come almost naturally to some people.
 

JessLough

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#9
Yep, what she said ^^

Parents are going to find different things hard, and some will have a harder time overall, no matter how easy you think their kid is or how much harder you think it is. Having more kids does not make somebody's life harder. It depends on the individual -- both the child and the adult.
 

Fran27

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#10
Some women have an obsession with strollers. Seriously. I don't get it, lol. I bought a use snap'n go when we got the babies, then did my research and bought one stroller when they were 5 months, and that's it. Buying a stroller at 2 seems like such a waste, but of course mine refused to sit in strollers after 3 so maybe I'm not a good example.

I have a hard time understanding how people can have a hard time with one child too though. I lost Chris one day in JCPenney (ok, his father lost him, it took us 15 minutes to find him and they had to 'lock' the store, it was scary as hell), so I know what it's like to have a kid that runs off. But you teach them. And put them screaming in the stroller if you have to, until they learn to listen. And if she uses a stroller, it's even easier...

I've taken my kids everywhere, shopping, grocery store, doctor appointments, hospital, funeral, you name it. They do fine. You just can't expect a 2yo to suddenly behave like an angel if you never take him anywhere (that's a generic 'you' lol).

Now, I agree that not all kids are created equal and some of them are way worse, but still... it's not a reason to be a lazy parent.

ETA : agreed with everyone though, some things are much harder for some parents than others too. But still. lol.
 

darkchild16

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#11
Im sorry but if you regret your kids or the situation grow some balls. Your kid doesnt deserve to be shut in because you regret them. Kids pick up on that. You chose to have them deal with it. I NEVER wanted to be a mother. NEVER but I got pregnant and decided to be a parent. I faked it until it came to me. There have been alot of nights (not in the past 3 years tho) where I cried and asked myself WHY i chose the way I did but that quickly passed when I realized how much I would have missed out on. Now I cant imagine life without them (even when im functioning on 30-40 minutes of sleep)

Her kid HATES the stroller Fran. I just gave her a umbrella I dont use and its not "good enough". Its more she wants to look like she has money when she is technically homeless (as she tells me typing on her Iphone *rolleyes*) .

Now I do avoid taking mine if I can because I hate unbuckling 3 carseats lol.

ETA: im not talking FUN things but NECESSARY things.
 

sparks19

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#12
Honestly, I used to have no pity for these hermit stressed out people. I used to RESENT my friends who got pregnant and could never come out or never wanted to come on trips with us with their kid. I mean..everyone knows kids are messy, time consuming and stressful.. I mean did they NOT have a plan? or 9 months to prepare?

but as I've gotten older and started to look closer at what some mothers DO everyday.. some WITHOUT full time help.. whatever you need to get through the day.. do it.
Some people deal the only way they can to stay sane..by staying indoors, by seemingly giving up on discipline, by bribing, by sitting their kids in front of the TV.
Who knows? Maybe they have a really fussy baby, a neglectful husband, depression, regret..
and like you said, some people just CAN'T HANDLE IT. And do the best they can.. It's hard for people who are GOOD at being parents to see that because it's something that does come almost naturally to some people.
Yep, what she said ^^

Parents are going to find different things hard, and some will have a harder time overall, no matter how easy you think their kid is or how much harder you think it is. Having more kids does not make somebody's life harder. It depends on the individual -- both the child and the adult.
AGREED!

Oh and paiges post too although I forgot to quote it lol. Different parents have different strengths and weaknesses and sometimes they have kids who seem to play on every weakness they have. I don't envy them and I don't want to laugh at their struggles.

Seriously, Hannah is a dream child lol. She never runs off, she is very rarely outright defiant, and I can take her all through the grocery store without her touching a thing or throwing a tanrum. but... because of this I am also very spoiled so on days when she is out of sorts I want to tear my hair out. Is it as bad as some people have it? not even close but it's way beyond normal for us so I often have less of a threshold for such moments.

What I can't stand is parents who just don't give a rats patoot and let their kids run wild around the grocery store while mom just chats on the phone and doesn't care that said child is knocking everything off the shelf and bumping into everyone. Those are the people we should be complaining about... not the people who just don't go out because they don't want to BE that parent outlined above lol. If you don't take your one child grocery shopping because it's not something you are prepared to handle at the moment then THANK YOU :)
 

Paige

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#13
People comment on how my kid is so well behaved when on the bus... and I just smile and think YEAH I'D HOPE SO HE HAS BEEN RUNNING AT FULL SPEED FOR THE LAST 5 HOURS. He really ISN'T well behaved. At least no more than anyone else's kid. I just know my own abiltiy and melt downs are so stressful I try and exhaust him before we go anywhere so him and I are not over our threshold.

I can't take Briggs to the park beside my house. He tries to run into the road every time. He won't listen. Try as I might he wants to play right in the middle of that freaking road and I just don't take him anymore. I've had one too many sprints after him where I've just got him by the hair before he barrels out into traffic. I am pretty confident in my ability to take him anywhere else. There? No.
 

JessLough

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#14
Meh, I'd rather see kids not going to a grocery store than then going, their parents getting pushed past their threshold and hurting them in the heat of the moment.
 

sparks19

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#15
People comment on how my kid is so well behaved when on the bus... and I just smile and think YEAH I'D HOPE SO HE HAS BEEN RUNNING AT FULL SPEED FOR THE LAST 5 HOURS. He really ISN'T well behaved. At least no more than anyone else's kid. I just know my own abiltiy and melt downs are so stressful I try and exhaust him before we go anywhere so him and I are not over our threshold.

I can't take Briggs to the park beside my house. He tries to run into the road every time. He won't listen. Try as I might he wants to play right in the middle of that freaking road and I just don't take him anymore. I've had one too many sprints after him where I've just got him by the hair before he barrels out into traffic. I am pretty confident in my ability to take him anywhere else. There? No.
see I think this is key. Admitting when there are certain positions you can't or won't put yourself in anymore as a parent :)

We all struggle with something
 

-bogart-

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#16
i am one who will not take the kids with me , I cant go with just chris and I , we dont go , he goes.

It is easier all around for us to do this , lugging 4 kids and 2 adults to the grocery/pharmacy/anywhere is to much. It is easier all around to just let him go and I stay with the kids.

I dont drive right now and he drives us everywhere.

When i do start driving again , i will take either the boys or the girls , no way in hell am i taking all 4 . at least i have a listener and a rebel with each set , so I only really have to worry with one as the other are angels to deal with.


well at least until the "Iwantssssssssssss " Start! lol
 

darkchild16

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#17
People comment on how my kid is so well behaved when on the bus... and I just smile and think YEAH I'D HOPE SO HE HAS BEEN RUNNING AT FULL SPEED FOR THE LAST 5 HOURS. He really ISN'T well behaved. At least no more than anyone else's kid. I just know my own abiltiy and melt downs are so stressful I try and exhaust him before we go anywhere so him and I are not over our threshold.

I can't take Briggs to the park beside my house. He tries to run into the road every time. He won't listen. Try as I might he wants to play right in the middle of that freaking road and I just don't take him anymore. I've had one too many sprints after him where I've just got him by the hair before he barrels out into traffic. I am pretty confident in my ability to take him anywhere else. There? No.
thats how Morgan and Bev are. At home omg youd think Taz was their dad. (currently one is dancing while standing on my couch lol and the other is attempting to climb my plastic office cart for the 5th time today so he can grab a peice of printer paper that I tried to give him already.) They are taught to behave in public OR be put in the cart, no park or some other punishment.

Again Im talking NECESSATIES not fun things. I bypass alot of things my moms group does because its scheduled at 10 in the morning and IM not getting all 3 of mine ready at 10 for a fun event. I take mine grocery shopping at 1am when Jeremy gets off so that we can get it done if its not something that HAS to be done by a certain time.
 
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Fran27

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#18
Paige I never take my kids to playgrounds because I know they'll be too excited and run all over the place. I totally get it. Even now, they'd just run in two opposite directions. The few times we went to the children's museum we just each took one child and we still ran all over the place.

And honestly I don't take the kids out that much either. Some moms do it all the time but I can't imagining spending that money on gas just to do something every day (plus it's good for kids to learn to entertain themselves at home anyway). But the few times I've been out with just one kid omg it was so easy, lol. But still, I like being alone when I want to get things done, have a lot of errands to run etc.
 

sparks19

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#19
That's great if it works. When my nePhew was young it got to the point where he was being disciplined more than not. He was always grounded, having stuff taken away, at one point his room was nothig but his bed and blankets. Being disciplined eventually became his new normal. I honestly don't know what else they could have done but he was totally apathetic to punishment. It didn't phase him at all
 

Fran27

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#20
That's how mine are honestly. They have too much fun making a mess or whatever, that they don't care about the punishment. They grow past it though (mostly).
 

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