Well, this has unfortunately been an interesting read.
Amber, I'm replying because I care about you as a person on this forum. We're both of a similar age and planning on having kids around the same period.
To myself and my husband, having children is VERY important. I guess you could say it's the most important "end goal" for us. Babies grow into children, who grow into people. The relationship doesn't end when they're children. They grow up, get married, have their own children, who become your grandchildren. It's such a large relationship, if that makes sense.
Bamm, realistically, is going to live another 10 years at the most. A dog living to be 20 is a lofty goal for a pet owner. In 10 years, you'll be nearing 40 which is pretty old to be looking at starting a family. I mean, obviously having kids at that age is do-able (my mom had my sister when she was 38). I know I personally don't want to start my family at that age- we're looking at 30 which is still "old" for most people.
All of my dogs seem like they'll do okay with kids, so I haven't even had to think about the issues you're having to think about. If so, I wouldn't be putting a dog's life over a child's life. I mean, my dogs are VERY VERY important to me and you all know the things I'd do for them, but I wouldn't delay having children because my dog didn't do well with kids.
Like it's been suggested, I'd rule out any medical issues with Bamm. It seems like his issues go deeper than just with children, so I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable rehoming him. I'd do as much as I could with him to rule out medical issues and to make sure he'd be stable with your children. I know you'll make the best decision for YOU and that's the most important thing.
Hopefully this makes sense- I'm still suffering from jet lag but wanted my opinion on here.