The musing thread

Something to consider... I hope you figure it all out.

http://www.afterellen.com/the-hook-up-can-a-long-term-relationship-get-its-intensity-back/07/2013/

http://askville.amazon.com/long-term-relationship-boring/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=3515014

Oh my god. That's what I needed. The first one... Chris and I have been together 2.5 years. (Would have been 3 in October) we've lived together a year and a half. That's crazy how... common? This is.

Thank you (I'll read it completely once I'm off work but skimming it, I find a lot of "omg that'sme!" Moments)

Yeah..what I thought a long term relationship should feel like, and what it actually is, was totally different. I blame Disney movies . But seriously, of course there is a difference between settling into the relationship and being totally unhappy, but you need to answer that for yourself.

I had a serious hangover. Now I have the serious munchies...

I'm never going to grow up am I?

I really want to get a Harry Potter tattoo, but am way too much of a perfectionist to ever be completely happy with a tattoo.

After-run happy is very strange. Considering I have inflicted the running upon myself, it's not like I was about to be eaten by a bear and ran/got away. THAT would be a reason to be happy. Ho-hum. I don't think Wesley shares in my after-run happy.

This job is so stressful at times, yet so rewarding when each child makes progress, whether they are learning to blow bubbles or learning to do a front crawl. I can't count the amount of times that I have actually done a happy dance on the deck because one of the kids finally got a certain stroke/drill. I still remember my first few instructors so it's really neat to think that when my students are the ones teaching lessons, they'll be able to look back and remember me.

This session, we have a young boy with autism, who is non-verbal, and he absolutely loves the water... and as his mother warned us, is completely and totally fearless, plus he is a runner. This was confirmed when he got out and started running towards the deep end, cue myself sprinting full speed after him, and jumped in. Luckily, I got there right not even a second after and got him out... but I was still catching my breath for a good five minutes afterwards.

For his safety, can he wear a life jacket at all times?

I might suggest that, although we now have one lifeguard on each side of the pool to catch him if he gets out and runs. He can swim well where he can touch but since he can be so unpredictable, we make sure he has two noodles before heading to the deep end.

On a brighter note though, today I figured out something that he really enjoys... being bounced up and down in the water. The half hour went a little better once he realized that doing a float results in him being able to play the "up" game. We tried doing the whole, "touch your nose" to get his attention as we do for all of the younger levels but his babysitter said that those things have stopped regaining his attention. We let him adjust to both myself and the other instructor today so tomorrow we'll be trying to really get him doing things in the water.

I might have found a doctor I like. I'm going to make an appointment.... I'm so nervous. What if he sucks? Or blows off my concerns? And I didn't really want a make doctor. If I'm going to be naked and uncomfortable with a doctor, it'd be nice if they had felt the same way.... also scared of what I might hear. I just want someone to be nice and listen to me. I'm not stupid but I'm not a doctor. You went to school for years for a reason.


Anyway hopefully things go well. Scared, though :\

I miss Michael. So do the dogs. Even Abrams has been looking for him today, and we weren't sure if he'd even register that he's gone.

I wonder what cat forums are like...

Sometimes, I just want to say, screw it to university.

I just want to live somewhere outside in an old creaky house with a big garden which provides me with everyday food, dogs and a few geese & ducks. Chickens would be awesome too.
I want to be married, 30 and have like 3 kidletts and own my own store with my mom, so I can take my dogs to work every day.
I want to spend my summer evenings making marmalade, muffins a breads goddamit.

Sounds awesome to me! Well, maybe only one kidlett though

I nearly teared up many times at work at the clinic today. We had a bunch of long-time clients I've come to know really well come in, and I kept thinking "This is the last time I'll see ________" :/ I know this is the right decision for me, but it's still a bit sad. I've known a lot of these people for SEVEN YEARS. That's my entire post-highschool life.

My head hurts. Two days of nonstop EVERYTHING at work, plus 6! emergencies on top of it all...I need a drink. (But my drinking buddy is gone and drinking alone is no fun. *sigh*)

Sorta feeling like my life is kinda whatev's right now. Not sure how I feel about it. I'm not depressed, but I'm not happy. I don't necessarily want to be in a relationship or be close to someone but I know realistically I can't shut people out forever. I feel like I'm wasting my time doing this, but not sure how else I would prefer to spend my time. Is it cowardly to just wanna run away for a while, get drunk every night, make bad decisions and have some fun? I guess it's more "responsible" to stick around and do what everyone else wants and feel whatever everyone else wants me to feel. But it doesn't make me happy.

Life sucks peeps. Or maybe it doesn't suck. I dunno, I can't decide on anything lately. Confused, confused. Musing = confused.

Feeling a little down living here. There is good money to be made around here, more stability financially, but I'm unhappy. I'm a country kind of girl and would rather be out in the country somewhere. I miss small towns. I miss slow paced life. I don't like it out here.


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Agreed. When I was a kid I thought I would know what to do when life changes happened. Like I knew I'd go to college, get a good job, married maybe, kid? But I failed to realize that you never know if youre making the 'right choices'. And in most cases, these goals dont just float to you. I thought you just went to school (which was totally easy and exactly 4 years) and then magically had a job after graduation. Life gets in the way of cookie cutter plans. We're young. We get to make choices now. But we dont have to know everything. I thought things were much more black and white. But we live in a world of gray. Im finding a lot of people (people I think of as sucesful or they have it all together) worry and fuss and question just as much as I do. Everyone is pretty ,messed up, in their own way.

Lol end random rant. Going to bed at 3 AM appartently makes me want to be philosophic.

Anyway! Give me a month or so and I will get you and drag you out of thst place. At least for a little while. Its no Colorado but I think we can still have fun. ;p

(Took forever to write on my tablet...)

There is a giant baseball spot on my leg that has suddenly ballooned into a huge swollen mass. It's red, swollen, and a bit warm in that spot. No itching or pain. WTH body? Yesterday night before I went to bed my cheeks were both bright red and swollen, now my leg?? I am not impressed. T_T