Positive approach to stopping dog on dog violence?

one dog, louie will start fights with laila when food's around, so i started feeding them separately etc. i went on vacation for 6 weeks and when i came back, louie was now aggressive when laila was getting attention on a bed or couch. louie has always nipped or pulled laila's ears if she got any attention at all, but it wasn't aggressive.

so with this new aggression in louie i feel like i have to stop it since it's spreading. my wife thinks it's just resource guarding since we were gone for so long, and we are the resource. i couldn't get on the forum for a few days, so everything i looked up always said the problem was dog hierarchy. which i know the general feeling around here is that that stuff is nonsense. so i'm looking for the positive training explanation. also what i should be doing when louie attacks? everything i've read says 'show them who's boss'. but i don't see how me enforcing my authority really addresses the problem.

You are definitely a resource and dogs WILL guard you from other dogs. Despite the fact that it's not very unusual, there isn't really a lot of resources out there, that I could find.

Here are some resources to get you started, I really hope others see this and respond, as there are some pretty experienced trainers on here (note: trainers, not magicians, haha)

Kikopup has popular videos: kikopup's Channel - YouTube

Mine is all about resource guarding: Amazon.com: Mine! A Practical Guide to Resource Guarding in Dogs (9780970562944): Jean Donaldson: Books

Click to Calm is like the leading book on using clicker training for aggression: Amazon.com: Click to Calm: Healing the Aggressive Dog (Karen Pryor Clicker Book) (9781890948207): Emma Parsons: Books

You're right, it's not hierarchy, it does sound like resource guarding. I'm having the same problem with my dog and one of my cats. It's usually fairly easy to predict so I was carrying treats and when I saw my cat coming to sit with me I'd start giving Tucker treats as the cat settled down beside me. That way the cat coming over to me on the couch is good for him too so not something to get upset about. If for some reason he did snap at the cat he'd get a time out in the bathroom via a leash that he carried around at all times for various reasons (you could just get up and walk away as you are the resource he's guarding so you leaving would be him loosing the resource for his behavior, however I could not do that as the cat would run if I got up quickly and Tucker would chase him thus getting rewarded for his snapping) We were making some good progress but now I'm back at school so who knows what's happening at home.

i like your idea of just leaving. although i do hate getting off the couch. it seems to be fine if i just pay attention to the aggressor (louie), but that seems like i'm not solving the problem, just going along with her demands. i caught laila flashing her teeth at lou while up on the couch with me yesterday. i guess that's what triggers the attacks. laila's not so innocent after all.

i've started feeding louie most of her food first in the kitchen, then while she's eating (and barking/gobbling/growling) i'll give laila her food. when louie comes running in, i have her lay down and hand feed her the rest of her meal, but only while laila is at her dish eating (she wanders). louie shows no aggression while i do this. when she initially walks in she does, but not while she's down and i'm feeding and petting her.

on a side note we are watching our friend's cat and i let it walk around lou while she's eating to see what happens. the cat sticks its head in the bowl while louie's eating and louie doesn't react at all. laila must die if food's around, but the cat can share.

I agree with you,don't care for your dog too much ,otherwise,he will think himself a alpha dog. .

Romy had a really great game to play with two dogs who resource guard with each other.

Another thing....avoid letting them interact this way except in very controlled training sessions. If that means keeping them mostly separate for a bit of the time until it's sorted out, that's fine. It shouldn't be too hard of a fix, but it may escalate if it's left unresolved OR if you approach it the wrong way.