The word Mom...

Calling other woman mom....

  • I have called friends' moms 'mom' no biggie

    Votes: 7 14.6%
  • Nope, can't do it, feels wrong.

    Votes: 34 70.8%
  • Meh, it's just a word........who cares?

    Votes: 2 4.2%
  • Hershey bar with almonds

    Votes: 5 10.4%

  • Total voters
    48

puppydog

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#21
I don't think Pauls family is my family. I am MARRIED to him, he is my husband, not my brother. The only way his family could be my family is if he was my brother and if he were my brother I certainly wouldn't have married him.
 

ACooper

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#22
I probably should have mentioned this in my original post!

Adoptions and/or step parents I don't consider in the same category. That's just completely different than calling friends' moms Mom.

Anyway, I have 3 step children. Their mom died when they were ages 2, 5, and 6. I have been their step mother 13 years, so longer than they had their birth mother and they all call me mom. (which is fine because I love them dearly and feel as though they are mine)

Honestly though, if she were alive (and I was step mom still) and the kids wanted to call me mom, I think it's something I would discuss with her. If it hurt her feelings or was something that made her feel uncomfortable it wouldn't happen.

AND..........

I'm SO glad to see that I'm not the weird one for a change! :rofl1:
I have seen that post on Facebook more times than one and always thought maybe I was the weirdo for thinking it was weird! WOOT! LOL
 

sparks19

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#23
Yeah it weirds me out to call anyone else Mom. My MIL and I are very close and I absolutely consider her family but I just CAN'T call her mom. Luckily, she understands this and it doesn't hurt her feelings. So I just call her by her first name or Grammy when Hannah is around :)

I don't know why I feel this way. My mother certainly doesn't care if I call anyone else Mom. it's just a weird quirk of mine. Now hubby does call my parents Mom and Dad. he's comfortable with it, my parents are comfortable with it. it works lol but it's just not something I can reciprocate. For the longest time I didn't call his parents ANYTHING. Any situation where I would have to call out to one of them... I'd avoid those moments like the plague. Finally one day my MIL called me on it and said "you know... you don't call me anything. What would you like to call me?" that's when I told her about my issue about calling anyone else "mom" and she said "that's ok... just call me Peggy" and that's what I call her lol. I talk to her on the phone everyday just like I do with my own mom but still can't do it lol
 

eddieq

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#24
So either I'm the "weird" one or you're all neurotic :rofl1:
 

M&M's Mommy

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#25
I don't think Pauls family is my family. I am MARRIED to him, he is my husband, not my brother. The only way his family could be my family is if he was my brother and if he were my brother I certainly wouldn't have married him.
What?? I'm trying to understand the statement "the only way for my in-law family to be my family is if my husband was my brother"? It just doesn't make sense to me.

When I married my husband, I married into his family, and became a member of his family. I attend family dinners and events that are for family members only. I gained a mother, siblings, and multiple relatives-in-laws. They consider me a daughter of the family and love me as such... In returns, I consider myself a member of the family and treat it with as much respect as I would my own. It's a win-win situation for everyone involved :) My MIL has two daughters and three daughters-in-laws... and if you see the five of us together, you wouldn't be able to tell which one is in-laws and which one is by-blood.

I realize that not everyone is as lucky as I am when it comes to the in-laws.. but I'm not alone with the the mentality/reality of "when you marry someone, you're marrying into his/her family", am I?
 

ACooper

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#26
So either I'm the "weird" one or you're all neurotic :rofl1:
Take your pick Eddie........probably truth in both! :lol-sign:

Seriously though, I do think it's less of an issue for guys. Don't know why, I just think it is for the most part.
 

*blackrose

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#28
My mom has been called "Momma Smeltzer!" or "The Other Mom" by quite a few different kids, mainly very good friends that spend all their time at our house. She says they are her other kids, so they call her their other mom. I have no problem with that at all. That being said, I've never called anyone mom (or dad) besides my own parents and I doubt I ever will, even with my boyfriend's family. Mom is my mom, Dad is my dad. That's just the way it is.

Now, it was rather funny when my parents and I met up with my boyfriend and his father to go out to eat. When my boyfriend introduced my parents, he said, "Dad, this is...Dad and Mom." LOL

I realize that not everyone is as lucky as I am when it comes to the in-laws.. but I'm not alone with the the mentality/reality of "when you marry someone, you're marrying into his/her family", am I?
No, I have that mentality as well. My boyfriend's family is like an extended family to me. When we get married, I expect to have all of the same commitments/relationships with his family as I do with my own extended family. And I would absolutely hate it if he didn't expect to be a part of my family. Family is family - blood doesn't matter.
 

puppydog

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#30
What?? I'm trying to understand the statement "the only way for my in-law family to be my family is if my husband was my brother"? It just doesn't make sense to me.

When I married my husband, I married into his family, and became a member of his family. I attend family dinners and events that are for family members only. I gained a mother, siblings, and multiple relatives-in-laws. They consider me a daughter of the family and love me as such... In returns, I consider myself a member of the family and treat it with as much respect as I would my own. It's a win-win situation for everyone involved :) My MIL has two daughters and three daughters-in-laws... and if you see the five of us together, you wouldn't be able to tell which one is in-laws and which one is by-blood.

I realize that not everyone is as lucky as I am when it comes to the in-laws.. but I'm not alone with the the mentality/reality of "when you marry someone, you're marrying into his/her family", am I?
Because in order for Pauls mother to be my mother and his sisters to be my sisters, he would have to be my brother. I don't see them as my family. I am not related to him or them. I don't want them as my family. His older sister is my VERY close friend but is not my sister. I can't stand his younger sister and the feeling is mutual. His mother is just that. HIS mother. Not mine. They are not my family. I married him, not them. Some people think you marry a family, that's great for them. I didn't. I married a man.
 

Paige

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#31
I only will call my mother Mom. I don't even call my stepdad Dad. I call him Serge because thats how I grew up. I don't refer to my bio father as dad either though. I'm pretty stuck in that and have no desire to call anyone else Mom or Dad.
 

sparks19

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#32
I didn't technically marry a family, I married a man with the added bonus of more family members. there are lots of people in my life that I am not related by blood to but are my family none the less.

I think it is easier for guys too, Coop. There was never any sort of internal struggle for Brian about what to call my mother lol. For me it was something I would lose sleep over sometimes LOL. If I called someone else mom I'd be up all night thinking about it lol
 

puppydog

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#33
What bugs me about his family is that they are constantly harping on about how I should make an effort to be part of the family and then they all sit and talk about me when I am not there. (Well, his mother and younger sister do)
 

sparks19

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#34
What bugs me about his family is that they are constantly harping on about how I should make an effort to be part of the family and then they all sit and talk about me when I am not there. (Well, his mother and younger sister do)
well yeah... that totally sucks. My sister is a lot like that so we really just keep our distance from her
 

Paige

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#35
Tyler told he I should call his mother Mom because I am the daughter she never had. I was like uhh... Tyler I like your mom, we get along and all but we do not have that kind of mother daughter relationship. I'd feel incredibly awkward especially because if I called her Mom I'd feel obligated to call your dad Dad and he doesn't even speak to me directly. It'd just be weird for me and it'd be so unnatural.
 

JessLough

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#36
I have somebody at work who adopted me as her granddaughter and I'll call her Nan from time to time. Generally I don't call other people mom/dad, the boyfriend's parents refer to themselves as mom/dad to me (like I'll be leaving to the guesthouse and if I don't say anything his dad will say "bye dad, goodnight" to remind me)

However, we've always grown up calling our non-family family. My dad was "adopted" (aka lived with them for 8 years) by friends of his family, he always called the parents mom/dad and we grew up calling them Nanny/grandpa, and their kids and uncle/aunt. We consider their kids cousins, and they consider my parents as aunt/uncle.
 

Gypsydals

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#37
I rarely call my MIL anything other than her given name, If I call her something else is Ma, never. ever. Mom. That word is reserved for my mom and my mom only.
 

ACooper

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#39
However, we've always grown up calling our non-family family.....
Don't have a problem with that at all. For example, if good old 'Dave' has been a close friend of the family for years, the kids can call him uncle Dave if he doesn't mind! And if good old uncle Dave has kids..........well those kids can be honorary cousins if you want! All that is fine and good, just not MOM or DAD, LOL
 

Lyzelle

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#40
None of my friends ever called my mom mom. She was about the farthest thing from "mom" any of my friends could ever consider, and she actually chased a good many friends away. So I never had to think about any of that. I never called any of my friends moms "mom" though, either.

There was one friend I was extremely close to, and her family. And, according to them, they very much adopted me into the family(and were willing to sign the papers). I used to spend weeks over there, and it was always a great time. Not just fun, but happy. They'd go see other parts of the family, go on family vacations, and I was there, always. I called all the aunts/uncles Aunt/Uncle ___ and her grandparents by their titles as well. But I never called her parents Mom/Dad. It never really occurred to me to do so, although they called me their daughter plenty of times. I guess by then, mom/dad had taken on a new meaning for me, and I was soured by it. But I did very much, and to this day still do, consider them all more family then my own blood.

As far as marriage, I don't call DH's mom/dad mom/dad either. They're nice, I really like his Dad, but he isn't "Dad" to me. His mom used to pester me all the time to call her "Mom", and I was her "daughter" but that changed somewhere down the road. Maybe after I didn't loan her money. But I'm Daughter-In-Law now. Lol.
 

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