The Venting Thread

You say that like its a bad thing ... I live in TEXAS, second biggest state in the United States, for us an hour is a short drive xD.

My folks ranch sounds like his kind of pace ... Even my phone's GPS can't pinpoint me when I'm there .............. And I love it.

Eventually you will love it too, once you go country you will never go back.

The last day of my summer program was yesterday, and it was a big day. Big week, actually... Lots of 2am nights because I was working on getting my movie and everything done. I'm really depressed about it being over, but it was amazing.

So, yesterday we walked to a pizza place, then to the pool and swam like crazy, then back to the center. Then I had to stay late to set up for our program, which was from 6:30-8:00, so I never went home... then I spent over an hour cleaning up. Afterwards I was starving because I hadn't ate dinner, and by that time I could hardly walk.

See, I rolled my ankle on the way to the pool. But there was no stopping, no way, so I didn't say anything until right before the program started I said something to my co-teacher after I changed into my dress clothes... because my foot had swollen in my tennis shoe so when I put on my flip flops it was like RELIEF and PAIN at the same time She wanted to ice it or wrap it but there was a late kid, and then the families started showing up over a half hour early. plus I didnt want to look like a doof

Today? So. Much. Pain. and... Maddie is being SUCH A PITA!!!! Someone please come get her

I've been thoroughly upset with my bf the last few days over a number of reasons I shall not go into right now. However, I was starting to feel more inclined to start at least talking to him again tonight. Then I got home to find the dogs had gotten into the trash, then gotten sick on the floor. I cleaned that up and reached into the fridge for my beer, some special seasonal stuff I can only get when I head back to KC. Only it's gone. He drank it. Out of the entire 6 pack I bought, of MY favorite beer, I had ONE.

Then he calls to ask if I can come pick him up from work and I say I'm still cleaning the floors because of the trash raiding.

"Oh yeah," comes his reply, "I left chicken bones in there. My bad."

:wall: :wall: :wall:

I'm sure it was Marley who poached and ate and has the constitution of a goat, but I can't be 100% sure and it's been hours since it happened.

We can switch? I'm DYING to get back out into the country. My bf is super-glued to the city.

You'd be amazed at how much you might like it. I was a city girl until my ex, and sometimes i miss it enough it hurts (especially when I watch Amish mafia or sparks posts about somewhere I've been haha) - we're just on the edge of a big recreational area/lake here, with some ranches down the road that make me feel better... but honestly the idea of the country gave me hives once upon a time lol

This morning my mother wakes me up: "Wake up, something's wrong with Juno."

She offers no explanation, so naturally I fly out of bed. Is she collapsed in the yard? Did she not eat breakfast? Is she completely lethargic? What could possibly be going on that it needs my attention asap.

I get upstairs and she's outside standing at the door waiting to be let in. Okay. I let her in. She greets me as enthusiastically as always. ".....What's wrong?"

Apparently she had been outside for "3 hours" eating grass. She hadn't even had breakfast yet because the first thing she did when she woke up was ask to go outside. She was stretching a lot and licking her lips.

Sigh. She's just nauseous. I'm going back to bed.

I don't appreciate being woken up like that and led to believe that my dog is gravely ill lol.

Yes if this was my bf we would be having a come to Jesus talk ... Right. Nao. I admire your patience, because I don't have that much.

Not necessarily true. I spent a small amount of my time as a teen out in a rural area. hated it. Would still hate it. I currently live in town but in a neighborhood that is on the side of town where there is nothing in the way of restaurants and stores. It's my biggest source of irritation.

Agreed. I'm from a town of less than 800 people. I have no idea why you would want to stay there. I got out as soon as possible. I like the suburbs. Being right outside of town, but close enough to get whatever you want. Hell, I get annoyed when things close at 9 pm here. I think I would prosper in a big city. :rofl1:

I only wish my boyfriend was receptive to living in the country. Even the suburbs would appease me!

I am a country girl through and through. I lived in a big city with houses on postage stamp yards for a year. Now I live in an apartment... but there's trees, and ponds, and walking, and yards! I like this a whole lot better!

I am not from a big city (well 30 years ago when I was born San Antonio wasn't the "big" city it is now lol) I grew up on what was at the time the outskirts of town in a quiet little suburb with a huge yard & no neighbors really close.

I could never do a big city & I can't see how anyone lives in New Jersey or New York or Boston or even Houston/ Dallas :/ I tried to live their for a fee months & rage hated every second of it, that & due to the pollution I was sick the entire time I was there, constant headache & sore throat ... No just ... No.

The race track is even in a semi rual area, about 30 min from San Antonio so it's quiet here too.

But my family ranch is where I really love to be, it's an hour from San Antonio, the nearest "town" , which is about 800 people is 10 min away but there isn't snugging but gas stations there.

The next nearest town is seguin which is about 30 min from us, it has eveythin we need.

Where in PA are you heading? You know that NY is between MA and PA.....just saying

I would hate living in a large city-there are people EVERYWHERE, ALL.THE.TIME.
Plus urban areas tend to STINK--I'll take horse, hay, and burning leaves smell over city stank any day.

We live in a moderately sized town now, a block off the main road, and I'd love to eventually get land. It will be so nice to not have to worry about the dogs that live next door, to not have trash carelessly tossed into the font yard, to not have 57271883 strangers walk by my house daily.... having to drive an extra 15-20 minutes to get to Kroger is a small price to pay as far as I'm concerned. I'll live as far out in the country as I can and still get cable Internet-lol.

^^^ THIS!!! Being people-phobic (sort of) I would prolly DIE if I had to live & we that many people all the time, every day, day in & day out. I also hate having neighbors, having to "make" my dogs behavior suit them (out at the ranch they can bark, play, & do doggie stuff all. Day. Long. Without fear of a complaint

I'm definitely not a city girl. Heck, living in the NOVA/DC metropolitan area stresses me out so bad. Sucks because there are a ton of jobs here, but I don't handle living here well and I don't handle driving around here well. I would give anything to live out in the country.

I actually quite like where I live. We have 3 acres plus 90 acres of farmland behind us and one neighbor. My dads house is similar - it's in a 'neighborhood' as there is one street with about 12 houses. BUT we're still close to everything.

Like, at my moms place with the 3 acres... I'm 10-15 mins from the mall, and Annapolis, I'm like 45 mins from Baltimore and DC. We can get to cities easily, mountains, water, etc.

Whenever I dogsit or stay somewhere in a townhome, or an apartment, or a busy neighborhood, I'm always reminded of how much I appreciate being all out in the middle of 'nowhere'. I can't just go outside without a bra, and in my disgusting clothes with my hair all disheveled lOL... well I could, but I think I'd feel a lot more stupid than I do going outside with nothing around. I also do not care to talk to people when I walk out of my door and I get annoyed when people try to talk to me, hahaha, antisocial, much?

No, but really, I don't know, I go back and forth. I think I like something in between for sure. True city life would NOT be for me. I could never live in a place like NYC, or DC, or Baltimore.

Yeah, we've been having those. He groveled last night fit to beat the band, LOL.

It's not that frikin complicated!!!
I love her. I really do. But I CAN'T DEAL WITH HER ANYMORE WHEN IS THE MOMMY SMUGNESS GOING TO END?!

5 Things Parents Need to Stop Saying to Non-Parents

1. “Dogs are not kids.â€
It usually goes like this. “Ugh. You know what really bugs me? When so-and-so compares her dog to my kid. Or when so-and-so refers to his or her dog as his or her kid. Dogs are not kids! She has NO IDEA!â€

You know what? Unless “so-and-so†needs professional help, I guarantee “so-and-so†knows that her dog is not a human child. She also knows that having a dog is nothing like having a kid. What she’s really saying is “Oh! Yes. I also have something in my life that poops AND brings me joy.â€
She is trying to relate to you and be a part of your life — the life where all you do is talk about your kids. I know that it’s hard to relate when you have kids and your friends don’t. What were once close relationships can become sporadic meet-ups where you do your best to try and catch up with someone with whom you have very little in common anymore. Sure, you two were best buds in college, but now you have very different lives. So, when “so-and-so†offhandedly, and perhaps awkwardly, tries to relate to your story about picking poo out of your bangs by comparing it to scraping dog **** out of the carpet, cut her some slack. She’s just trying to be nice. And she misses you.

2. “You think you’re [insert anything here]? Try having kids!â€
Tired, stressed, in pain, covered in urine, it doesn’t matter. They all apply. Too often, we parents downplay non-parents’ concerns by pulling ours out and tossing them on the table. “Oh man! You worked 50 hours this week? Try doing that with kids!†“Oh man, you think your feet hurt from working outside all day! I’ve been chasing my toddler blah blah blah punch me in the face, please.â€
It’s not a competition. If, on a scale of 1 to Passing Out Awkwardly in the Shower and Waking Up When the Hot Water Runs Out, your friend is at a 7, and three weeks into your first newborn you were at a 9, that DOESN’T MAKE YOUR FRIEND ANY LESS TIRED.
It isn’t that your experiences can’t be a valid contribution to the conversation, but instead of a “my pain is more painful than your pain†approach, instead, try sympathizing. Why not try using your experience as a new parent to help instead of compete? Say something like, “Whoa! I bet you’re tired. When I was tired after my daughter was born, I found that pouring coffee directly into my eyeballs was incredibly useful.â€

3. “Don’t worry, when you have kids you’ll…â€
… not be grossed out by boogers, know who Dora the Explorer is, be happy… UGH. We’ve got to quit assuming that everyone is going to have kids. Some people don’t want kids and choose not to have them. Some people really want kids and are trying incredibly hard to have them. Indicating to these people that having kids is the only way they will reach some higher level of understanding is both inconsiderate and rude. I don’t know what the alternatives to these statements are. Maybe just cut anything that starts with “When you have kids…†out of your repertoire all together. It makes you sound like someone’s mom, anyway.

4. “Is the party kid-friendly?â€
Unless you and your friend have some previous communication on this topic about how your little one is always welcome, assume the party is not kid-friendly.If it were “kid-friendly†they would have invited you AND your kids, and mentioned the awesome playroom that they will have set up in the basement. By asking your non-kid-having friends if their party is kid friendly you are putting them in the really awkward position of either MAKING their party kid-friendly on the fly, or telling you that the party is NOT kid-friendly which, then, no matter how low-key the party was intended to be in the first place, pretty much requires that they now provide a steady supply of hookers and blow.
Don’t make your friends set up a kids’ room, and definitely don’t make them buy hookers and blow.

YOU are on the invitation. YOU are invited.
Yea, finding a sitter is hard and by all means if you don't want to go anywhere without her, do not feel guilty for replying "no" to the RSVP.. but don't just bring your tiny plus one along and "hope it's ok" it's awkward and it's rude.

ESPECIALLY TO FRIKIN BACHELORETTE/ADULT OCCASIONS.
You know we all LOVE your kid. But we want to drink and say what we want and not have to interact with your child for one evening. Someone took the time to host/plan this event and didn't want kids there, respect that.

5. “My life didn’t have meaning before I had kids!â€
Another way to say this: My life was meaningless before I had kids. Another way: Life without kids is meaningless.
Look, I know this feeling. Sometimes it feels like all the worries I had before my kids were trivial. I understand the urge to convey that feeling into words. Don’t do it. Your life may have a different purpose now, but your pre-kid life was an important part of your story, and your non-kid-having friends are a part of that. Don’t dismiss that part of your life the way most people skip the foreword to a novel they really want to read. By dismissing the “before†as just a buildup to your kids, you are not only dismissing your friends, but you’re also implying that their story has not started yet.

We have tried EVERYTHING. We've had the conversation PLENTY of times (especially when she shuts down ANY talk of glee/sadness with trying to one up it with her baby!! NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN MORE TIRED/HAPPY/SAD THAN YOU! YOU WIN!!!)

but nothing works.
We invite her out, she does ALL OF THAT.
We don't invite her (we think, ok, the friendship maybe has run it's course and this is her way of telling us she is moving onto her mommy friends.. ) she pouts and cries that we don't invite her anywhere..

We spend PLENTY of time with her kid and are MORE than supportive (financially and time wise) we have all attended baby classes, baby showers, baby yoga, lunch at kid friendly restaurants NOT TO MENTION paying for baby shower gifts, random gifts, etc..etc..etc..

WE HAVE LISTENED to her talk about poop, placentas, baby wearing, diapers, her kids MANY MANY MANY MANY trivial ups/downs, watched iphone video after video of her kid doing ALL KINDS OF THINGS.
And we smiled and hugged and showed support.

but when it comes to being supportive of us? Nope.
She cancels last minute,she complains when she isn't invited, complains when she is and it's somewhere that isn't kid friendly, she doesn't listen, there is NEVER enough money for a sitter (and she won't even let us pay for one!!) NOTHING we do is important.

We don't want to lose her.
We don't want to lose her kid, we do love her and love being her "aunties"
but being her friend is exhausting and one sided and it's becoming unfair and we are all starting to resent her.

And ANYTIME we talk to her, she either gets defensive or acts like she understands but DOESN'T.

And ANYTIME we try to mention inviting her somewhere without the kid..
she goes OFF THE WALL EMOTIONAL.
"WELL IF YOU GUYS DON'T LOVE HER YOU DON'T LOVE ME EITHER!! IF SHE ISNT WELCOME NEITHER AM I!!!"

WHAT?!?!? BECAUSE WE WANTED TO HAVE DINNER WITH YOU SANS BABY?!

She was NEVER like this.
Not all the parent friends we have are like this.
So what is going on with her?!
WHY?!?!?!?!?!??!

How old is baby? The last part sounds like maybe there's some post partum depression involved.

Being a new mom is really really hard trying to figure out your new identity and your new role in a group of friends who you suddenly have little in common with.

My daughter is three months old and I'm constantly torn between hating the feeling that my only identity is now Everleigh's Mom and never going out with my girlfriends like I used to, and not being able to pry myself away from her. It's a hard thing to accept, even though she was planned and we wanted her, that your identity has seemingly changed over night.

So, I suspect that it's nothing to do with what you guys are doing or not doing and everything to do with her trying to figure stuff out.