The Venting Thread

Spoke with my (very traditional/sexist) father in law last night. He's coming down for a visit at the end of the week (fun) and he wanted to know if he wanted me to bring anything down from Indiana. There were a few items, so we got that straightened out.

But he kept making comments about how he was trying to think of things to help me "decorate the home" and how he "imagines I have it pretty much how I want it at this point". Um. No. If you think I've done any form of decorating, you don't know me very well. I would *like* to have a house that doesn't look like two college students still live there, but I don't have the creativity to look at something and go, "Oh, that would look perfect over there!" and I don't have the money to walk into Hobby Lobby and purchase everything that strikes my fancy to make my house look magazine quality.

I don't even own any drapes. Or pictures. Or matching furniture. Pet hair is my decoration.

Just kind of touched a sore spot.

ETA:

Also, feeling very overwhelmed today and kind of feel like crying. I even made a list and am checking off stuff I've accomplished, but it's not helping. Still feel like crying. We have NO money (literally only $100 in the bank, with our credit card racked up to $1,000 thanks to car repairs), we need groceries, I feel like we were cheated when we purchased our car (the payment is only $35 less than what my Honda was, the car has 4x the mileage my Honda did, and we've been having some issues with the car that the dealership HAD to have known about before they sold it to us, but weren't apparent to us until now), I need to get **** done, but I don't feel like doing anything.

I miss home. I miss my old job. I miss my friends. I miss my old car. I hate this weather. I don't want to be here. *cries*

My family is unbelievable. That is all. Just unbelievable. And people wonder why I have trust issues. Whenever I actually get the nerve to build trust in anything, somebody's always got to take an match to it and burn it down.

I am so tired. I started my Lexapro last night and I didn't get any sleep at all. Switched it to morning so hopefully I can sleep at night.

I feel like some sort of party survivor, huddled on the couch with coffee waiting for the next upswing. I hope it goes away soonish. Or just curbs off a little. Mania is so not my thing.

But I would imagine that is part of why I am on this drug.

So confused, many mixed feelings less than 24 hours in. My brain hurts.

I have trust issues,& even more, because of what happened.

I think my family will be unbelievable soon, too. And ((((hugs))))

______
I'm stuck between right,& wrong.

I want to the right thing, I really do. But, I'm scared really scared to tell the truth, because of what might possibly happen. People would know it was my fault for not getting the kitten. My younger sister already treats my horribly,& if she finds about this-I just don't know.

I don't want someone who probably didn't do anything to get blamed.

I fully blame myself for this situation. It is my fault. I was the one who posted about not wanting to get the new kitten declawed. This guilt is over powering, I seriously can't think of anything else. I'm not even that sad. Just really pissed of with myself for creating this whole situation.

Do what you think is best. That's all anyone can ever do. (((hugs))) Trust me, I know. For me, at least, I find it easier to live with consequences than with guilt. Guilt eats me up inside and consequences suck, but don't stay with me forever. That probably isn't the same in all cases, however.

(((hugs))) again. Whoever went behind your back is completely out of line. I wouldn't even do that to someone I knew in real life, I can't imagine having the gall to meddle in someone's affairs that I only know through a computer screen.

Same. Big part of why I don't post here as often. I mostly lurk and read and I'll respond once in a while if I feel like it.

Definitely sorry all that happened. Internet sucks, sometimes.

I've had numerous places of employment contacted over the years by people from dog forums, due to random things I said that were taken the right or wrong way.

I posted once about thinking Recon had giardia here... turns out he didn't, but I was contacted by the parks department for using the dog park and two places of employment where he accompanied me because someone contacted them. Showed them the negative fecal and they all laughed about it, but do you know how much a pain that is? I've definitely learned to watch what I disclose on facebook and forums.

Everyone here is like, "internet".

And I am over here in my corner talking about all the things. I guess I am pretty transparent though.

So.

My jaw and head hurt so much. Tensing probably? Clenching my teeth? Like anxious symptoms but I am not anxious. At all. I am actually pretty happy. But it is weird. And IT IS SO HARD TO CONCENTRATE. By the way.

Obvious? Totally reminds me of obelisk. Which makes me think of Egyptians.

Supposedly I can't take NAID on Lexapro. So I have no idea what to do about my jaw and head.

ETA: That was supposed to be NSAIDs. Phone auto corrected. It auto corrected cantelope earlier too. To can't elope


Eta x2: BeAu told be to stay off the internet, actually, because of the Internet reasons you guys are talking about. But I think he was just talking about Facebook and blog posts.

I know how you feel, I have stress and anxiety issues so I am a horrible teeth clincher, to the point where I get pounding headaches from it. I also can't take NSAIDS , they give me horrible heartburn, but they are great for pain though.

My vent is "that time" of the month is here and I have had to take a codine because through pain is so bad. I hate to say it but I see how a person can become addicted to these things because they really do make a person feel awesome.

I'm so bored at my new job.

Well, I definitely do plan telling them. I just need to get myself to do it, because I always chicken out doing this like this.

This won't be fun...

I'm on Lexapro and it makes me sleepy, maybe you'll get that too once it's at a therapeutic level in your system. I'm a horrible jaw clincher and if a hotpack doesn't take the pain out of a headache, I will take excedrin or aleve. I've never been told not to take NSAIDs on Lexapro though so I guess it's good to know?

Anayways, I <3 Lexapro for making my moods and anxiety balance out so I hope it helps you too!

*hugs* I've honestly no idea why anybody could do that to somebody they only know online... But I also have NO idea at all why your family would be so harsh to you over this. I'm sorry *hugs*

I was taking Lexapro for my anxiety and to help cope with stress. First 2 weeks I was sick any time I ate or smelled food. Then I had nightmares - to the point where I got out of bed one night because I could SMELL smoke, even after waking. I began not sleeping, not being able to concentrate and yeah my anxiety was better but I was in a fog.

My new Dr. upped the dose because she said that happens when the dose is too low. After two weeks on that dose I was so tired that I would spend my entire break and lunch sleeping. I would get off of work and go lay down and sleep. Then, because I'd slept so much during the day, I couldn't sleep at night even though I was exhausted. I needed sleep like I needed air. Forget doing anything that required me to think.

I wound up stopping it because I couldn't take it anymore.

Hope your symptoms go away

So. . . that may or may not be a normal thing with Lexapro, but I'd be careful. Any drug that's throwing you into a manic phase is terrifying. Call your pharmacy and ask what you can take with it safely - I've always been able to take aspirin. It has no effect, so I stopped taking painkillers.

Yeah. . . most of us who have been on forums for a long time have gotten burned or watched enough people get burned that you just don't want to share. I don't share many of Middie's behavioral or health issues, any roommate drama, RL drama with other chazzers, personal health issues, relationship stuff, etc. It just doesn't need to be said. When I start searching for a breeder, I wont be posting jack **** about it. When I put a deposit down on a puppy, no one will know. And when I have that puppy, I wont ever mention the breeder's name on a public forum, and will okay it with them whether they want it shared privately or not. Because private is never private.

I've just seen too much **** go down.

Years ago before I got Cobain, I had people threatening to report to his breeder because of a situation I posted years ago.
I was a kid, it was a crappy situation that I had no control of, and a situation I didn't elaborate well enough on online. It really hurt to not only have people blame me for "not doing enough" to prevent the situation, but also to feel so helpless that an outside party thought they had the right to interfere with my life.

It seriously sucks being in a situation like that Jazzy, I am so sorry that someone went behind your back and did such a thing
I really hope that everything is okay between you and your parents.

Thanks guys. I do hope this all goes away. It starts about two hours after I take it and lasts maybe 4 or 5 hours. Then I crash. Well, not really crash. Fast things just aren't fast anymore. Slow down is probably the correct word. Sorta like a slinky...everything that happened in the last 4 hours comes snapping back and catches up to me. My stomach is like butterflies so I have a hard time eating.

I feel pretty normal now. Maybe a little dizzy and light headed. Hopefully it will all even out soon. I was able to grab a 30 minute nap or so.

I can't comment personally on the medication, as it's been too long since I've actually been on something so my experience in that area is minimal (and not pleasant which is why I'm foolishly off).
But I hope it all balances out well for you and helps. The teeth clenching is killer, I don't even notice I'm doing it until the headache starts -_-

I've always found that too much time on the internet will worsen my anxiety/depression/whatever else. Add on that fear of what's going on here having the wrong words taken and flown with to potentially affect your life. It's not pleasant.


Best of luck with everything.

You know I <3 you. Even if you spam me. Hopefully tomorrow goes better. If not I'll ask my pharmacist what she recommends. You were like a lonely chipmunk today! Also need more blog posts.



Migraine today. It's been on and off all week. I need it to just go away.

Sorry I didn't reply earlier. I had migraine,& being on my phone worsened it.

Thank you so much. ((((Hugs)))) back.
So sorry sorry about your situation. People can really suck sometimes.

Thank you so much,I really appreciate it.

((((Hugs))))

Same here. But, I've noticed I'm spending more,& more time on the internet,& less time interacting with people in real life. Which is just worsens it because I'm isolating myself more. To be honest, I really don't hang with my friends that much anymore, I just have no interest in doing it, with a few other reasons.