Breastfeeding in public
- Thread starter JacksonsMom
- Start date
Meh ive done it at the table countless times and never had a issue with anyone but if I bottlefed her at the table it would. Not only does she get VERY gassy, she gets LOUD, spits up large amounts and sometime in a projectile state, and cries for about 10 minutes after unconsolably.
Now which would you like to see in a restaurant?
Now which would you like to see in a restaurant?
Well, to be fair and honest, when I was in Texas at varying eateries, I'd say the least gross/obnoxious thing I found at a lunch/dinner table was a woman breastfeeding. And that includes conversations about other things that Texans find "appropriate" in society.
Your eating, kid is eating, I don't see the problem here. Tables are generally for eating.
Your eating, kid is eating, I don't see the problem here. Tables are generally for eating.
But its not the breastfeeding that makes the woman’s behavior obnoxious. Its very likely that the woman is just an obnoxious woman. Yes, obnoxious people breastfeed too 
And its not my responsibility to apologize for her actions with my breastfeeding. Because others have been offended by obnoxious breastfeeding (whatever that may be), I have to be MORE discreet to somehow even the score? It doesn’t work that way.
I mean... Its the whole burka argument in a different context. Women have to wear burkas lest a glimpse of their flesh entice a man. The onus is entirely on the woman to cover up and avoid tempting a man, no responsibility for the man to have any self control.
In the same way, why should all the onus be on breastfeeding moms to be quiet and demure and unobtrusive? Its like we’re saying “listen, we conceded the whole breastfeeding in public, you don’t have to do it in the bathroom any more, now try to act appreciative and be quiet about it will ya?â€
Sorry, but no.
And its not my responsibility to apologize for her actions with my breastfeeding. Because others have been offended by obnoxious breastfeeding (whatever that may be), I have to be MORE discreet to somehow even the score? It doesn’t work that way.
I mean... Its the whole burka argument in a different context. Women have to wear burkas lest a glimpse of their flesh entice a man. The onus is entirely on the woman to cover up and avoid tempting a man, no responsibility for the man to have any self control.
In the same way, why should all the onus be on breastfeeding moms to be quiet and demure and unobtrusive? Its like we’re saying “listen, we conceded the whole breastfeeding in public, you don’t have to do it in the bathroom any more, now try to act appreciative and be quiet about it will ya?â€
Sorry, but no.
This is 100% a cultural thing. What may be widely accepted and even honored in one culture may be looked at with the sort of horror in another. Mongolia probably has the widest accepted culture of breastfeeding pretty much however you wanna do it for however long you wanted to do it.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/07/breastfeeding-in-land-of-genghis-khan.html
This article always gives me a chuckle.
Here in my corner of the USA like everywhere else in the world you are expected to socially obey a code of conduct. When you have to do something that leans outside of the social contract usually that means doing it discreetly or meeting people's disapproval. That's life. I probably wouldn't be ok with one of my employees breastfeeding at work - with someone at a formal meal - or during a business meeting. Doesn't mean there isn't a time or a place but it's not anytime/anyplace unless you happen to live in Mongolia.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/07/breastfeeding-in-land-of-genghis-khan.html
This article always gives me a chuckle.
Here in my corner of the USA like everywhere else in the world you are expected to socially obey a code of conduct. When you have to do something that leans outside of the social contract usually that means doing it discreetly or meeting people's disapproval. That's life. I probably wouldn't be ok with one of my employees breastfeeding at work - with someone at a formal meal - or during a business meeting. Doesn't mean there isn't a time or a place but it's not anytime/anyplace unless you happen to live in Mongolia.
But its not the breastfeeding that makes the woman’s behavior obnoxious. Its very likely that the woman is just an obnoxious woman. Yes, obnoxious people breastfeed too
I didn't say it was, you should, or it does.
It was simply bothering me that negative experiences were being minimized and the conversation was taking on a "breastfeeding women can do no wrong, so clearly you aren't telling the truth" tone. As well as being legitimately curious as to whether anyone thinks there IS any inappropriate behavior when it comes to breastfeeding -- which still, no one has answered.
Yes, and again... that's kind of my point. But when milk is being sprayed over the table, and her boobs are "hanging out" because she's feeding her toddler, than yes - the breastfeeding is involved in the obnoxiousness.
I didn't say it was, you should, or it does.
It was simply bothering me that negative experiences were being minimized and the conversation was taking on a "breastfeeding women can do no wrong, so clearly you aren't telling the truth" tone. As well as being legitimately curious as to whether anyone thinks there IS any inappropriate behavior when it comes to breastfeeding -- which still, no one has answered.
I didn't say it was, you should, or it does.
It was simply bothering me that negative experiences were being minimized and the conversation was taking on a "breastfeeding women can do no wrong, so clearly you aren't telling the truth" tone. As well as being legitimately curious as to whether anyone thinks there IS any inappropriate behavior when it comes to breastfeeding -- which still, no one has answered.
Repost:
There are lines and I have seen it personally One woman I saw didnt even have her kids head anywhere near her nipple when she exposed and she was OVERfull so leaking. I did in fact nicely offer her my cover to hint that ummm you might want to wait till your kid is in front of your nipple to pull down or hoping maybe she just forgot hers LOL.
I did
Repost:
There are lines and I have seen it personally One woman I saw didnt even have her kids head anywhere near her nipple when she exposed and she was OVERfull so leaking. I did in fact nicely offer her my cover to hint that ummm you might want to wait till your kid is in front of your nipple to pull down or hoping maybe she just forgot hers LOL.
Repost:
There are lines and I have seen it personally One woman I saw didnt even have her kids head anywhere near her nipple when she exposed and she was OVERfull so leaking. I did in fact nicely offer her my cover to hint that ummm you might want to wait till your kid is in front of your nipple to pull down or hoping maybe she just forgot hers LOL.
As well as being legitimately curious as to whether anyone thinks there IS any inappropriate behavior when it comes to breastfeeding -- which still, no one has answered.
For example, eating with your mouth open is generally rude and obnoxious, right? No one wants to see it, everyone will rage about it. But what if the story BEHIND the behavior was something like, oh, the kid is mentally disabled, that man just had surgery and is having a rough time eating, etc, etc..? Still obnoxious?
Same can be said for breatfeeding women. Maybe a woman WAS being obnoxious. Or, maybe her kid was being overly obnoxious and excited that day and slapping her breasts around very noticeably. Or maybe she had just finished trying to settle down and get into the BFing, and then her kid slipped and took her shirt with him, thus her boobs were all over the place.
It's not "hiding" the obnoxiousness or rudeness of some people. It's doubting, because you never ACTUALLY know what is happening. And if someone is obnoxious, the PERSON is obnoxious, not the action they are committing. So what is "acceptable" and "not acceptable" is a huge range for different people.
Which is why a LOT of people in this thread said they hate the ATTITUDE of some people, not breastfeeding itself. But not everyone is mentally adult enough to make that sort of distinction.
You answer all the questions I'm too embarrassed to ask myself. Ditto with the milk letting down when things get exciting between the sheets comment.
Ditto with the milk letting down when things get exciting between the sheets comment.
Also ask away Im sure most of us have no issue asking embarressing questions LOL.
I can tell you breastfeeding cut down my period DRAMATICALLY
I did
Repost:
There are lines and I have seen it personally One woman I saw didnt even have her kids head anywhere near her nipple when she exposed and she was OVERfull so leaking. I did in fact nicely offer her my cover to hint that ummm you might want to wait till your kid is in front of your nipple to pull down or hoping maybe she just forgot hers LOL.
Repost:
There are lines and I have seen it personally One woman I saw didnt even have her kids head anywhere near her nipple when she exposed and she was OVERfull so leaking. I did in fact nicely offer her my cover to hint that ummm you might want to wait till your kid is in front of your nipple to pull down or hoping maybe she just forgot hers LOL.
Also, yes I find obnoxious, tantrum-ing kids & parents who don't do anything about it (they NEVER do anything about it!!!!!) equally annoying.
I'd be curious how many in this thread feel bf in public is inappropriate are actually Moms?
I'd also be curious to know how many people find the nipple on a bottle offensive? Or a pacifier? It's all a bit ridiculous if you ask me.
Do you find puppies eating from the nipple offensive?
It's feeding. It's not some super magical moment between mom and child, not to be intruded upon or witnessed. Those who think it is so intimate I think are viewing the breast in a sexual manner--THAT is intimacy, and yet we see it all over the television, in movies, etc. Talk about twisted thought process. Breast feeding is that....using the breast to feed. Simple.
I'd also be curious to know how many people find the nipple on a bottle offensive? Or a pacifier? It's all a bit ridiculous if you ask me.
Do you find puppies eating from the nipple offensive?
It's feeding. It's not some super magical moment between mom and child, not to be intruded upon or witnessed. Those who think it is so intimate I think are viewing the breast in a sexual manner--THAT is intimacy, and yet we see it all over the television, in movies, etc. Talk about twisted thought process. Breast feeding is that....using the breast to feed. Simple.
because you can just see SOOOO much boob when I do it. Where else are mothers suppossed to feed besides the car and bathroom? You have YET to answer that. Society is not breastfeeding in private friendly when it becomes that way I have no issues going to a nursing room until then I will feed where I can.
BTW you would have a "tantruming" kid if I bottle fed at the table. Bottles and her dont mix not just formula but bottled breastmilk
Also why is my child not allowed to eat at the table with the rest of the family just because how her food is delivered?
Society would be in a sad state if mothers werent allowed to leave the house while they breastfeed. You think the number of mothers killing babies is high now.... imagine being stuck inside after having a baby not allowed to go ANYWHERE for MONTHS. Thats asking for Postpartum deppression.
BTW you would have a "tantruming" kid if I bottle fed at the table. Bottles and her dont mix not just formula but bottled breastmilk
Also why is my child not allowed to eat at the table with the rest of the family just because how her food is delivered?
Society would be in a sad state if mothers werent allowed to leave the house while they breastfeed. You think the number of mothers killing babies is high now.... imagine being stuck inside after having a baby not allowed to go ANYWHERE for MONTHS. Thats asking for Postpartum deppression.
Many people in this country think the sight of two same gendered people kissing, holding hands, or showing any form of public affection is vomit-worthy and that it should be illegal because they are offended by it and don't want their kids exposed.
Should the rights of those same gendered people be compromised just because other people can't get over themselves?
Should the rights of those same gendered people be compromised just because other people can't get over themselves?
Why don’t you make a list of all the things you don’t want to see. That you feel you shouldn’t have to see. Seriously. Make a list of things that personally offend you. Then send them to your local legislators and ask them to draft laws that make sure you, dogdragoness, are never personally offended by anyone else ever.
Seems legit to me...
Seems legit to me...