The Venting Thread

Well I like living in the city.

Granted, Minneapolis is no NYC or LA. But while it's a nice place to visit I would not want to live in the middle of nowhere.

I live in the city, just not in like the heart of down town.

I go out to get the mail, water plants, whatever all the time in my pjs, sans bra, hair a mess, whatever

I dont talk or even see my neighbors every day...but its nice (for me) to have them when a nice hello or quick convo perks your day up. When our next door neighbors were there, it was awesome having kids for mine to play with. I LOVE being able to get to the zoo, science center, museums, parks, hiking trails, on and on within 20 minutes. I love having a diverse and large group of people to make up my "community".

I however ALSO love the country. I love open spaces and wooded glens. I love having animals of all sorts and room to just be.

That's what I love about Lancaster, pa. I call it country in the city. Right now we live in a neighborhood and right at the end of our cul de sac... Is a cornfield lol. 5 minutes down the road and there are farm properties, 5 minutes past that is the next small burgh, and 5 minutes grom my house in the other direction is a shopping plaza with groceries, pharmacy, big lors, restaurants, liquot store, hair dresser, k mart, pet store, etc etc.

It is the perfect fit... You can have tons of land and be "in the country" while being 5 minutes from a neighborhood and amenities you need or you can live in a neighborhood and still feel in te country... Or you can be downtown and be right in the city.

On top of that, it's incredibly beautiful

I'm locked in the salon. I locked myself in to count cash A's when I went to leave my key broke off in the lock. Panicking a little.

I really want to drive to Dallas to visit my best friend, who I haven't seen in 3 years. It would be so **** expensive though... the gas itself would be doable, but Riff can't come, so I'd have to pay for boarding for him because I don't have anyone to watch him. Then I'd have (want?) to stay at a h/motel because she is living with her mom so I wouldn't want to stay in the living room, and her boyfriend lives there now too so we couldn't share her room like we did last time I visited because that would be... weird. Then I'd probably want to find a daycare there for Rowan for at least a couple of days so that we could actually go out and do things, since I couldn't leave him at the hotel. I'm not sure about leaving him at her place because it's a small apartment and she has a dog I'm not sure he'd get along with, so I wouldn't want them together unsupervised.

So it's not just the round trip gas like I was thinking, it's also a hotel, boarding for Riff, daycare for Rowan, saving up to be able to take the time off in the first place... all to go to a place I hate But man, I miss her. I wish she wasn't afraid of flying. It would be SO much easier (and cheaper) for her to come up here.

When would you be thing? If Riff is ok with other dogs and its not between the 4th and the 11th of September, we can watch him.

See, a "small town" is doable for me, most have everything in a very convenient distance, but it's not too ... "Urban".

I was more referencing "big" cities & urban areas ... No way, never could do those.

Hate? Dallas ain't that bad. Lol

Agreed. I thought I would hate living in the city (although really I live in the burbs and work in the city-ish) and I LOOOVE it! But it's also easy to find space here in Minneapolis, it's green!

Yes, Minneapolis loves its green space.

It's funny, I don't live in the most urbanized, concrete jungle, downtown part of the city but I am not that far away from it, and my neighborhood reminds me a lot of the small towns my grandmothers lived in except the houses are a bit closer together. People who are expecting the version of a city in their head are often surprised when they visit us and see what it is really like.

I lived in a city that I liked, but even when I got a day off, the first thing I'd do was get in the car to drive somewhere green to walk bodhi.....

I don't think I get the most out of city living lol.

Now the nearest shops are a 20 mile round trip away, and there's no high street, just 2 small supermarkets and shops that sell odds and ends etc, usual small town stuff.

There's odd things I miss, like being able to go to the cinema now and then, or variety of deli type shops etc, but I'm not really a cafe goer, and I hate clothes shopping... I do most of my other shopping online anyway...

I don't like the fact there's no dog stuff round here! No trainers, no groups, no nothing!

To Hop Bottom! Totally do-able, just a bit of a tricky situation to figure out, they'll be gone at the national sheepdog finals with their dogs when I'd normally come to get the puppy.

But really, I have come here to vent that the payroll service decided to pay me $31.50 for 38 hours work. It's going to be called in and sorted, but good grief.

My friends are not allowed to be grandparents.
That's too weird.

I mean I know my friend is older than me.
And his daughter is a fairly young mom.

But that ain't right.

August is bleh.

The kid is about 1.5 years old.. can PPD last that long?

The swings in mood are just.. a lot. One minute she is little miss happy parent sunshine (She even has a blog about how much she loves parenting! People come to her for advice, it's a popular blog!) "my life is just where I want it to be right now, being a mom fulfills me"

and the next, it's meltdown mode. The kid is too much, her husband doesn't help, she hates that she quit herjob..



She has plenty of mommy friends...
I just feel like this has gone on for almost 2 years and as long as you didn't personally know her (If you read her mommy blog, knew her on facebook etc..) you would think she is the happiest mom on earth

I'm just confused as to what to do..

As for the city/country thing, it is totally personal. PROS/CONS to both, it all depends on what's important to you.

I don't notice the smell or noise lol honestly, at all. Unless it's REALLY BAD (like sitting next to a homeless guy during rushhour on the subway), honestly don't even notice a smell.
As for the noise? I can barely sleep without it. The city noise that bothers most people (cars, people talking, sirens), I find oddly comforting.

I like all the people the diversity and people of all kinds,creeds all over the place is one of my FAVORITE thing about the city.

There is so much to do! And you can do it at any time! haha Restaurants, bars, activities, doggy stores/daycare/training, laser tag arenas!

Only thing that bothers me is the cost of living expenses (my rent. ugh!) haha
I have a friend who pays less to rent her HUGE house than I pay for my studio LOL that hurts a little, but I wouldn't have it any other way I'd rather pay more and be happy lol

I'd be bored stiff in the country honestly.. if nothing else the city has gotten me used to constant over stimulation.
It would likely end in a meltdown like...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NOTHING OPEN?!?!? IT'S 11 OCLOCK! WHY IS IT SO QUIET?! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"

I read that article you quoted and was like "HALLELUJIAH!" :lol-sign:

It sounds like she can't figure out how to reconcile her "ideal" of what motherhood and raising kids should be and what the reality actually is. She's probably also really missing having her own life, adult time, etc and feels super guilty about thinking that way. I ran into A LOT of this when I was doing Passion Parties. There's this cognitive dissonance that modern moms are getting and it's a hard thing to work through. They're not sure how to maintain their own special identity now that they are wife AND mother. We're not taught how hold on to who we are; there is still that pervasive unspoken expectation of putting everyone else and their needs before any of ours. It's bullsh*t and the tides are changing, but slowly.

I would honestly suggest she go to a therapist, maybe one who specializes in families, so she has someone non-judgemental to vent to and maybe she can figure out WHY she's having such a hard time personally and discuss options. Maybe just having a professional tell her that she needs and deserves to take some time to herself will help her stand up for what she needs in order to be an effective wife and mother the rest of the time.

Sounds like depression to me while trying to maintain the socially acceptable "perfect mom" facade

ZOMG. STRESS.

Not being able to pick up the phone and talk to your significant other is really not what I need right now. We had a brief phone call today and he said something in regards to seeing if he can get liberty for a few days after he graduates, and if he can, we can get married on paper then. He sounded fairly confident that it would be possible as long as his A-school doesn't start right away. And once A-school starts, he doesn't know how easy it is going to be for him to get us both to the same court house during his free time on a weekend. He was told the base he will be at is "3 hours away from civilization".

Now I have this huge ball of anxious stress sitting in my gut, because if he can get leave, I don't know if we should just go ahead and have a really quick spur of the moment ceremony and call it done, or if we should still stick to our original plan and have the ceremony after A-school, since we don't really know how that is going to work out, either, and we'll be needing to move during that time as well.

STRESS. STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS.

And what is really killing me is that even if I were to write it down and ask him, I won't get a reply until next week at the EARLIEST. And that means I will have THREE WEEKS to plan something. THREE WEEKS.

Did I mention STRESS?!?!?!?!

I have insane job stress.

I am very stressed about the wedding/money.

Limit's neuter incision looks terrible. I'm taking him back in tomorrow to get it looked at. How did they mess up a neuter?? Poor guy's scrotum is ANGRY.