The Venting Thread

Headaches, nosebleeds, and overheating...

Apparently these things are related.

I just made an awkward discovery... an awkward Match.com discovery.

NO.
WHY IS THE WORLD SO SMALL.

NO NO NO NO NO.

Blah just all kinds of anxiety tonight.

My dear sweet cousin was found dead this morning. 28yrs old. I'm extremely heartbroken. I should have spent more time with her, should have forced her to go see if my kidney would be a match. So much guilt. Its eating at me.

She had kidney failure since she was around 13. Had a transplant from her dad, after a couple years her body rejected it and it had to be removed. She has been waiting on a donor for years on end. Doing dialysis three times a week. Her blood levels were messed up from it and she was in constant pain, for the last couple years she had a really hard time walking and had to use a cane or wheelchair. Two months ago she was having uncontrollable seizures and had to be put in a medically induced coma for a while. She had been out of it since then.

This isn't fair. She never got to have a normal life growing up. My heart is bleeding for her mom who took care of her and waited on her hand and foot. And her sweet boyfriend, he is having a hard time.

April was found dead this morning in her bed. By her boyfriend and mom.

I just don't know anymore. So upset.

Thought I was going to be assisting with a class tonight... Have never taught or watched this class before.

Ended up having to teach. I'm sick, coughing a lot... all over in the middle of the class, now my voice is barely there and my throat hurts. And the "oh **** I'm teaching this ok *brain scramble*" stress. Went surprisingly well.

Plus side was it was a nice group of dogs/owners and +2 hrs for my certification? SLEEP NOW. :hail:

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family, that's so sad.

This.

Why do I not have any wool daubers?! I hate moving. Everything gets lost. Now I have to wait to sure this leather piece until tomorrow. Grr.

My car was towed to the shop.

I didn't realize I liked it as much as I apparently do, or I wouldn't be this upset.

I know that feel :/ My Caliber was a piece of ****, but I still totally miss it sometimes. Even my Jeep now, I have a pending trade, and I'm all "BUT I LOVE IT."

There is some debate over whether the 3 is a POS right now, actually. BAHAHA. I don't care. I love it. It can break all it ****ing wants.

TMI Vent of the WEEK: Why can't I find a FWB? I would even fake date someone to get laid at this point. I don't even care if it's a guy or a girl. My sex drive has been THROUGH THE ROOF and toys are just not cutting it.

I got rejected hardcore by someone this month. I sort of maybe found someone and then that fell through. I have two friends who might be in for a threesome, but we have to actually find a TIME that works. And then I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MEET PEOPLE. Supposedly like two dudes from parts are super into me, and I've met them already, but. . . ew.

I'm despairing.

I think it's time I delete someone off my friend list. We were acquaintances in middle school and I just can't take the OBAMA IS A MUSLIM, TRAITOR TO AMERICA! crap any more. She always had interesting drama to keep up with, but that seems to have died away, so I guess no big loss.

Bleeehhhh middle of the night emergency vet trips. I went to feed the rats and found Poncho laying at the bottom of the cage unresponsive. Not expected. The closest e-clinic that treats rats is like 30 minutes away so off we went, not really knowing if he'd even be alive by the time we got there. They're suspecting he had pneumonia but he was clearly in really awful shape, the estimate for treatment was like $1300-$2000 and with how poorly he was doing it might not work anyway, and I just can't pay that for a rat.... so I had my little buddy euthanized.

As far as I recall, he was fine yesterday. He's never shown signs of being sick.
They did make me a cute clay pawprint with all 4 feet plus his tail. And now I just have to hope it wasn't something that could have been passed to my other 2?

Aw, I'm sorry

OMFG I am in a PISSED OFF MOOD.

Woke up after a very frustrating dream. Went to let Abrams outside and he peed everywhere, including on my legs. (At least it was on the linoleum...) For the second time this morning Cynder flat out refused to go outside (I have no idea what her boggle is) and I had to chase her down and throw her out.

Just BAD MOOD. RAWR :madgo:

It is effing snowing. I say this as a winter-lover... ENOUGH. STOP.

It is becoming increasingly apparent that I can no longer hold onto things for an extended period of time. Pouring drinks at work the other day, and an almost empty bottle of cranberry juice goes flying out of my hand. My hands hurt like heck after walking Roxie just now, and from holding onto my iPod.

Anybody have any ideas on how to circumvent this? Cuz unless someone makes 1/2 inch rolled beta biothane leads, I'm probably gonna be f*cked. Or just go back to rolled rope leads (I have a few from EL, but I love my beta leash).

I mean, I count on Roxie to be pulling me (and she pulls really well, and hard like a freight train when I need her to) but I may just never do anything ever if my hands can't bloody hold on. It's more of an issue with my left than right, but my right shoulder/back was injured and still recovering, so I can't hold onto her with my right without risking re-injury because she does pull nice and hard.

I've always had issues with grip, but it was never this bad... It's just gotten a lot worse since my bike accident.

I'm just so frustrated by this right now. I will probably be using my police lead as backup on walks from now on, just in case.

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One more vent for today- don't bloody talk about trying to find a dog-less way of including me in things if I'm not going to be able to go home to Roxie after. I don't have a dog sitter, I will not be getting one, and YES, THERE ARE HOTELS THAT ALLOW DOGS! Not that hard to find them.

I don't like being without Roxie for an extended period of time. Stop telling me that having my dog is a PITA and you wish I'd never have gotten her. At least I have a life because if there's someplace I want to go and can take her, I CAN GO! And I don't skip out on it because I don't feel like being around a lot of people. It may be the case that I don't want to be around people, but if its dog-friendly, I will go anyways because I have Roxie and she loves people and I'd feel worse staying home when I know that she would have fun... Which then (usually) turns into me having fun too (because who can't be happy when Roxie is happy?).

Raaah. It annoys me so much when my family gets me all pumped about doing things and then they're like, OH WAIT, WE THOUGHT YOU COULD LEAVE THE DOG. Even if I wanted a dog sitter and didn't have trust issues, how would I find a reliable one last minute? I wouldn't.

I can't stop sneezing! Bah! I even threw out my shoulder with a sneeze... It hurt.

Bah.

My sister is stressing my out to the point of where she's giving me anxiety.

I hate trying to find housing! Everything is either too expensive or too far away. I currently pay for my rent partially with student loans. I need to move by August, to a cheaper place, because I still likely won't be making enough to cover it when I graduate, especially when student loans kick in.

Waaah. Wallowing tonight. I posted on FB, because I figure my best chance is through someone I know. Craigslist isn't giving me much to work with.