How to Handle Heat

OK, until I find a vet I like and cash my next paycheck, I have one very very horny kitten. Jade is reallly young to be in heat, like, not quite 5 months old but as far as I can tell, she's showing all ths sings. She's whiny... constantly meowing and purring for attention, getting in what I call the "ready" position when anyone looks at her twice, and being very snuggly in general. Now, she's a friendly kitten to begin with but she's been waking us up at 4 am with vocalizations and the "reay" position is rather embarrassing with people over.

Short of getting her spayed ASAP, is there anything I can do to get her to quiet/calm down? Also, how long does the typical feline heat usually last?

This is going to sound gross, but the only way to end a heat is for penetration to occur. Some vets will insert a "probe" in there and that will usually end it, if you are seriously desperate.

When we fostered a mama cat and kittens she went into season before the kittens were weaned, so we couldn't spay her right away. It lasted 2 weeks. I don't know if that is normal. I never took her to be "probed" as we never got desperate enough, lol. She WAS very irritating though. Some cats go straight into another season too, depending on the individual, so probing won't work for those cats.

Make sure there is no possible way out. Do not let her have access to open windows with only screens covering them. If a tom comes by (and he will if there is one within 5 miles of your house) one or both will claw through the screen to get to each other.

ETA: 5 months is pretty normal for the first season. The cat we fostered gave birth at 6 months old. It was so sad because we had to buy kitten food for mama, who was still a kitten.

Only way out is the front door and we keep her on a harness when she's not locked in our room. But good to know that being extra cautious is a good idea.

And probing? Ew. Good to know, but ewww.

Thanks for responding Romy!