do you find being called Ma'am annoying?

Miakoda

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#21
As for the Mr./Mrs. stuff, heck, I'm in my thirties and refer to my in-laws as Mr. or Mrs. (first name). My hubby is the same with my mom. In fact, this is the norm for most of the people I know.

I'll tell y'all what personally irks me: my younger brother and did-in-law have instructed their kids to call us (aunt/uncles) by our first names. I despise having an 11-yr-old (& 7, 6, 5, 3-yr-olds) talk to me like I'm their school/playground friend. Without the proper salutation (uncle/aunt) the age barrier and respect are absent.
 
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Dekka

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#22
I really hate it. Its not that common here to call someone Ma'am so it really stands out when someone does it. It still irritated me when I was in the US, but because it was so common I kind of got used to it.
 

Skivvies

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#23
I understand why it's used, and it doesn't bug me if people call me that. But I irrationally think it's an unpleasant-sounding word, along the likes of moist, chunks, ointment, seepage, etc. So basically, I don't mind other people calling me that but I try to avoid saying it myself.

(I just noticed that I couldn't even bring myself to type that word, haha)
 

JessLough

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#24
As for the Mr./Mrs. stuff, heck, I'm in my thirties and refer to my in-laws as Mr. or Mrs. (first name). My hubby is the same with my mom. In fact, this is the norm for most of the people I know.

I'll tell y'all what personally irks me: my younger brother and did-in-law have instructed their kids to call us (aunt/uncles) by our first names. I despise having an 11-yr-old (& 7, 6, 5, 3-yr-olds) talk to me like I'm their school/playground friend. With the proper salutation, the age barrier and respect are absent.
I called my aunt by her first name once and got yelled at majorly. But I wasn't even talking to her, she called and asked to talk to my dad, so I said "Joanne's on the phone". Frankly, you better show me respect if you want respect, beig a family member doesn't automatically get it.
 

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#25
This.

Here in southern Louisiana, it's standard terminology. To me it sounds polite and courteous.
Its the norm here as well.
I do it all the time.

And I still say Aunt/Uncle *insert name*
I've always done it.

If I don't say Yes/no ma'am/sir, I feel bad for not saying it. My dad would ring me a new one if he heard me say "Yea" to someone (other than my friends, even then I only say it to a couple of friends just cause I've known them forever and they don't care). But my dad really HATES that word "Yea".
 

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#26
I don't know... for me everyone deserves basic respect. Like customer A may be a pain in the arse and very unpleasant but they still deserve basic manners
 

JessLough

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#27
I don't know... for me everyone deserves basic respect. Like customer A may be a pain in the arse and very unpleasant but they still deserve basic manners
Oh I'm still respectful to people and maintain my manners, but to me, aunt/uncle isnt manners/basic respect. It very well may just be because it's my family, though. That certain aunt thinks we are the scum of earth and would like us to die, so...
 

Dekka

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#28
I don't know... for me everyone deserves basic respect. Like customer A may be a pain in the arse and very unpleasant but they still deserve basic manners
Everyone does deserve respect. But calling me Ma'am isn't showing respect. Its just something some people where 'trained' to do, its not like you say Ma'am only to those you deeply respect. Its what many people call a strange woman over a certain age.

I don't find someone not saying Sir/Ma'am less respectful. I would say tone of voice, eye contact, mannerisms show more about how they really feel. When I was in the US this summer I got called Ma'am by bored disrespectful teenage types. It was like it's a habit, not a conscious demonstration of respect.

Some parents have their kid's friends call them by their first name. I am one of them. Mrs Harper is my MIL :p There is nothing wrong with my name.. its MINE :) HOW they say my name and talk to me is far more telling to me than if they call me by a more generic last name or VERY generic Ma'am.

hmmm I guess I also don't like Ma'am as its very depersonalizing. Its a catch all term for millions of women.
 
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#29
Everyone does deserve respect. But calling me Ma'am isn't showing respect. Its just something some people where 'trained' to do, its not like you say Ma'am only to those you deeply respect. Its what many people call a strange woman over a certain age.

I don't find someone not saying Sir/Ma'am less respectful. I would say tone of voice, eye contact, mannerisms show more about how they really feel. When I was in the US this summer I got called Ma'am by bored disrespectful teenage types. It was like it's a habit, not a conscious demonstration of respect.

Some parents have their kid's friends call them by their first name. I am one of them. Mrs Harper is my MIL :p There is nothing wrong with my name.. its MINE :) HOW they say my name and talk to me is far more telling to me than if they call me by a more generic last name or VERY generic Ma'am.

hmmm I guess I also don't like Ma'am as its very depersonalizing. Its a catch all term for millions of women.
This

I dont see how using the word ma'am somehow is all of a sudden more respectful. Again, in the workplace I would use it if I didnt have the clients name handy but to me, the word ma'am is kind of cold and formal.
 

sparks19

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#30
I'm not saying ma'am is or is not respectful. I was more commenting on the "you have to give respect to be treated with respect". I agree that you should treat people how you want to be treated but I think everyone deserves basic respect. what constitutes basic respect I guess depends on how you were raised. like Sally may be a bitch but it's no reason to just say "hey bitch" LOL (my apologies to any Sally's on the board lol)

Hannah's friends will call me whatever their parents deem appropriate I guess. if their parents want their kids to refer to me as Mrs then that is what they will call me. If they want their kids to call me by my first name, that's what they will call me. I personally don't really care what they call me as long as they aren't blatantly rude so whatever their parents are teaching them in that regard is what I would follow.

As it is now we have Hannah call adults Ms first name or Mr first name. Some people might find it strange but we find it respectful, so it just varies from family to family. growing up I called close family friends "Aunt/Uncle" lol my one brothers kids don't call me aunt Tanya and my other brothers kids do call me Aunt Tanya lol. I don't care either way. I just try to respect their parents teachings
 

Dekka

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#31
That is interesting, most parents just leave it up to the other parent what they want to be called. Darien calls many parents Mr.. or Mrs... but the parents or adults who want to be called by their names are fine. The kids who's parents wish to be called Mr... or Mrs.. don't seem to have issues with their kids calling the adults by what the adults prefer. To me that is more respectful than calling them a name they aren't as comfortable with.
 

sparks19

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#32
That is interesting, most parents just leave it up to the other parent what they want to be called. Darien calls many parents Mr.. or Mrs... but the parents or adults who want to be called by their names are fine. The kids who's parents wish to be called Mr... or Mrs.. don't seem to have issues with their kids calling the adults by what the adults prefer. To me that is more respectful than calling them a name they aren't as comfortable with.
yeah... I think the kids should go with whatever their parents deem appropriate. We have friends who have their children call all their elders Mr/Mrs and since I don't really care what they call me I figure it's not my place to tell them otherwise. I suppose if it REALLY upset me that they called me that I would tell them to stop but I can't fathom why it would bother me that they refer to me as Mrs Beakes. As long as it's not appropriate and truly offensive I can't see making an issue of it. If they were taught to refer to their elders a certain way, I'll let them call me what they think they should call me.

My best friends parents always said Oh call me Pat but I just couldn't do it. I kept calling them Mr and Mrs. I couldn't call them by their first names lol. They understood.

Basically, if the kids are trying to pratice the brand of respect they were brought up with why would it bother me. I get the basic idea that they are being respectful even if it's not my personal choice of things to be called, I appreciate the sentiment.

some of my friends kids call me Tanya, some call me Ms Tanya and some call me Mrs Beakes. I'm Ok with all of them, they all apply to me and I understand the idea behind it.
 

Beanie

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#33
As it is now we have Hannah call adults Ms first name or Mr first name. Some people might find it strange but we find it respectful, so it just varies from family to family. growing up I called close family friends "Aunt/Uncle" lol my one brothers kids don't call me aunt Tanya and my other brothers kids do call me Aunt Tanya lol. I don't care either way. I just try to respect their parents teachings
I like when little kids call me Miss Beanie, but it's weird when anybody else does it LOL. It seems so cute for kids to toddle around calling me Miss Beanie, I don't know why, LOL.


My parents were always "Beanie's mom" or "Beanie's dad." I don't think my mom really wanted to be Mrs. Lastname or even Mrs. Firstname.
I don't like "ma'am" (and I agree that it's kind of an ugly word to say!) but I think I would rather be called "ma'am" than "miss." I don't really like either though. I don't find them necessary to be used either, really... "excuse me" works just as well as "excuse me, miss?" And yeah I think "hey you" would be preferable to ma'am or miss LOL.
 

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#34
We didn't really actively teach hannah to call people ma'am or Sir but she must have picked it up by listening to us and one day we were at the park and she walked up to this little girl's dad and said "Excuse me Ma'am" LOL I was like DOH but he just laughed lol awkward
 

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#35
That being said, there have been quite a few times when I've been out west or up north and they thought I was completely disrespectful because I was using ma'am or sir. One of my aunts told me to stop saying yes ma'am to her because she was not old, but I just CAN'T DO IT. haha
LoL i live way up north ( MN) i've actually seen several women give funny looks when a guy calls someone ma'am. I get the point though, just weird to hear it out of the blue and i was thinking " is he calling me old?!" :yikes:
 

Dekka

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#36
Basically, if the kids are trying to pratice the brand of respect they were brought up with why would it bother me. I get the basic idea that they are being respectful even if it's not my personal choice of things to be called, I appreciate the sentiment.

some of my friends kids call me Tanya, some call me Ms Tanya and some call me Mrs Beakes. I'm Ok with all of them, they all apply to me and I understand the idea behind it.
Not to pick on you... lol but this is an interesting point. Who is respect for? If someone would rather be called X, is it more respectful to call them what they wish to be called, or call them a name you have been taught is respectful (forgetting if its hard to do due to 'training.. I get that) But as for teaching a child, what IS more respectful?

Thinking about it, I think if my child is unsure and asks the adult how they would prefer him to refer to them and then follows it, that is showing interest in their wishes. To me showing sincere interest and helping someone be most comfortable is showing a high level of respect.
 

CaliTerp07

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#37
Not to pick on you... lol but this is an interesting point. Who is respect for? If someone would rather be called X, is it more respectful to call them what they wish to be called, or call them a name you have been taught is respectful (forgetting if its hard to do due to 'training.. I get that) But as for teaching a child, what IS more respectful?

Thinking about it, I think if my child is unsure and asks the adult how they would prefer him to refer to them and then follows it, that is showing interest in their wishes. To me showing sincere interest and helping someone be most comfortable is showing a high level of respect.
This this this this! It is not respectful to refuse to call someone by their wishes. (Or more accurately, to train a child to call everyone the exact same thing, regardless of their wishes). It frustrates me to be called "Miss Karen" or "ma'am", and while it's not worth throwing a hissy fit over of course, I really wish that parents would ask what I want to be called before instructing their child, or teach them to listen to what the person says they'd like to be called.
 

umterps97

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#38
YES! I hate "ma'am"! I would seriously almost rather be called "hey you!"

I was raised to be extremely respectful to adults. I don't understand why "Yes, please" and "No, thank you" aren't sufficient, or "No, Mrs. S" and "Yes, mom, sorry mom", etc.

I always ask kids to stop calling me "ma'am". It just makes me ridiculously uncomfortable.
I agree with this 100% (especially the first sentence!!)
 

Red.Apricot

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#39
I don't mind being called ma'am at all. I usually get honey and sweetheart (or babydoll, which is the worst) which make me crazy. There's something about my face that makes people want to treat me like I'm 12, even when they know I'm not.

When I worked retail, I called everyone ma'am (if I had to get their attention). I hope I didn't offend people.

Edit: Called every female ma'am. Men were sir. :rofl1:
 
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Doberluv

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#40
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to be called Ma'm. It most certainly IS a mark of respect, something added that stands for respect. I love how the southerners are taught to use it and I wish all children would be taught that. I also love it when little children use "Miss" before my name. I'm thinking back on the many people I've known in my past who were from the south...kids I babysat, friends and even some of my relatives. I'm from the north and I think that little term is something we missed out on. By using that little term, Ma'm, it is a split of a second of holding back. Just say it to yourself. "Yes, Ma'm." A split of a second longer in which to think...respect. I'm all for it. I do get it a lot from people in stores, even though this is the north.... mostly men. I appreciate it a lot. :) Of course it doesn't replace good manners and respect. It's in addition to...that extra icing on the cake.
 

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