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Old 05-26-2006, 01:52 PM
tessa_s212
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Default How to Communicate Peacefully-A Tutorial

It seems every now and then we have quite a few fights and/or rude comments thrown around on Chaz. I do really enjoy this forum, and would like to propose some recommendations for posting. If we all abide by the following steps, we can all have a happier place to discuss dogs.


1. Clarify. If someone says something, make sure you understand it! Rather than jumping right on their backs, ask them if thatís what they mean.

DON'T DO THIS:
Member1: I donít care for your dog.
Member2: OH MY GOD HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT I HATE YOU

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
Member1: I donít care for your dog.
Member2: What do you mean? Is it his coat, his structure, his tempermant?
Member1: Well his coat is pretty gross.
Member2: He did blow coat earlier this month, thereís not much I can do about it.

Please note the civilized manner the second conversation was carried out in, as compared to the first.


2. Keep it private. Should someone blatantly attack you on a thread, donít keep fighting there. Take it to personal messages quietly, and fight all you want there. Perfectly good threads have been ruined by arguments and grudges, and that should never happen.


3. Don't use sarcasm. Donít be snide, rude, inconsiderate or amazingly sarcastic. Simply state your side of an argument, and accept the fact that people will disagree with you. You can argue until youíre blue in the face, it will probably not change someoneís opinion. Remember Ė there is a difference between an argument and a debate.


4. Don't hold grudges. Donít bring up previous threads, arguments or statements. A discussion is for the topic on hand, not what someone said some other time. Do not bring in the personís past, habits or actions from their personal life.


5. Reread your posts. Never post anything without rereading it. Look at it from the perspective of an outsider. Does it make sense? Can it in any way be offensive? Many times a person means one thing, but it comes out very different. Thirty seconds to scan over a post will save hours of fighting.


6. Don't take things personally. Odds are if you take something personally, it will get out of hand. Should someone say something you think is a direct attack, ask them exactly what they mean. If they are being rude, ignorant or offensive, either take the conversation to Personal Messages or report them to an Administrator.

*by James
 

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