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  #3191  
Old 08-27-2014, 08:31 PM
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Originally Posted by milos_mommy View Post
Jules, I felt the same way. Even though Lillian was unplanned and I hadn't tried, after 2 miscarriages and with endometriosis it seemed unreal. I didn't tell anyone until I was like 5 months pregnant. I refused to buy baby things until around 7 or 8 months.
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Originally Posted by Taqroy View Post
(((((hugs))))) That would be so so hard. Have you considered talking to someone? I went to a therapist after miscarrying and I honestly think she saved my marriage. Pregnancy is hard and the hormones and feelings around all of it (including prior losses or infertility issues) make it infinitely more difficult.

If it helps though - I didn't have any cravings either. Have you felt the baby moving yet? That's when it got real for me (and then real annoying as she spent a good majority of her time crammed inside my rib cage having a dance party).
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I completely understand. I had a hard time being confident about my pregnancy as well. In the beginning, I told myself I'd be comfortable once I hit 12 weeks... then once I hit 12 weeks I still wasn't, so I thought by 20 weeks I'd definitely be comfortable, and once I hit that I was still nervous about potential loss... and I was nervous up until I delivered. I always felt like being "more" pregnant would make me less fearful- I wish that I stopped and enjoyed my entire pregnancy because I LOVED being pregnant besides fearing the tiny tiny chance of something potentially going wrong.

I guess I felt that it was such a fluke that I was actually pregnant and it wasn't going to last. I had a chemical pregnancy in the past, so I went through the excitement of getting a positive result and then having it go away.

Even when we decorated her nursery when I was 8 months along, I still couldn't shake the feeling. I felt the more stuff I bought or did would make the pain of a loss even higher because then it would be more "real."

So... my advice would be to try to relax and realize the chance of everything going smoothly is WAY WAY WAY higher than something going wrong. You've already made it 19 weeks and there's no reason that you won't have a beautiful baby at the end. The worrying really takes away from the enjoyment of the moment.

Thank you guys for your responses and sorry for not replying sooner. I just had to take an internet break for a bit and it definitely helped. It just felt like the rug was going to be ripped away from underneath me for so long... I was an anxious mess.

So.. here I am today, almost at 21 weeks. We had our anatomy scan today and everything checks out perfectly fine. We're having a little boy

Admittedly, I had gender disappointment for about an hour, but I am perfectly fine now. Now it's time to think about some boys name... we already found the perfect girl name... well, now we have to put our thinking caps back on.

I am just glad that he (ha, it's so weird to be able to think in a gender now) is healthy. Now it's time to shop! Ha!
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  #3192  
Old 08-27-2014, 09:01 PM
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AllisonPitbullLvr AllisonPitbullLvr is offline
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Yay!!! Congrats! I had gender disappointment too, for longer than I would like to admit. But now I can't imagine having a boy.

Names. Oh lawd, I struggled and stressed and questioned our choice, even months after she was named. So hard!
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  #3193  
Old 08-28-2014, 01:37 AM
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We've picked names and I don't think I'm ever going to be 100% satisfied!!!

My main worry is the boys middle name which my oh really really wants!! I don't know if it's just a bit silly. But he's wanted it forever.

Plus I really like the girls name but not sure if it's a bit weak.

It's such a responsibility!!!!
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  #3194  
Old 08-28-2014, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Jules View Post
So.. here I am today, almost at 21 weeks. We had our anatomy scan today and everything checks out perfectly fine. We're having a little boy
Yay!! I am so glad we found out the sex - it made it so much more real for both of us. As we left the appointment Matt started talking about baby names (a topic that he was fairly meh about before). I'm glad that I wasn't the only one with a bit of gender disappointment. I was weirdly sure that Falon was a boy, so it was a shock when she wasn't.
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  #3195  
Old 08-28-2014, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Taqroy View Post
Yay!! I am so glad we found out the sex - it made it so much more real for both of us. As we left the appointment Matt started talking about baby names (a topic that he was fairly meh about before). I'm glad that I wasn't the only one with a bit of gender disappointment. I was weirdly sure that Falon was a boy, so it was a shock when she wasn't.

Same here! I was positive Ev was a boy!

And Dizzy, that's just it. I felt so much more pressure to give a girl the perfect name. Strong, unique, but still feminine. My sticking point was I didn't like the spelling "Everly" but "Everleigh" seemed frivolous. Oh well. Too late now.
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I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that. ~W. Dayton Wedgefarth

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Obi - 7 year old Incorrigible Dog.

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  #3196  
Old 08-28-2014, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by AllisonPitbullLvr View Post
Same here! I was positive Ev was a boy!

And Dizzy, that's just it. I felt so much more pressure to give a girl the perfect name. Strong, unique, but still feminine. My sticking point was I didn't like the spelling "Everly" but "Everleigh" seemed frivolous. Oh well. Too late now.
FWIW I really love Everleigh's name (and the spelling).

I had the same issue with Falon's name - I brought it up as a joke because I was SURE Matt wouldn't like it and then it ended up being the only name we both liked. He liked more normal, popular, names and I liked old time hollywood style names. I can't imagine Falon by any other name but she definitely had to grow into it. For the first 6 months or so she went by little girl, baby, or zuzu.

Actually, we both liked Mallory too but with Avery as a middle name and N for the last initial....lol. That would just be mean.
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  #3197  
Old 08-28-2014, 05:00 PM
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One of our early sticking points was that I don't like the whole "name every boy in this family" such and such name tradition that my husband's family has. (they use it as a middle name) It's not that it is a bad name, but it is a common one, and it's just something I think is silly. (Bestowing a name on a child just because it's what's always been done) But, we ended up coming up with a unique to us name that we both liked (a character from a book my husband really likes) His sister ended up giving her child, born a few months later, the family middle name, so it all worked out
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  #3198  
Old 08-28-2014, 05:19 PM
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Congrats, Jules!

BTW, I love the names Falon and Everleigh. Both are unique but classic and the exact style names I love.

We had names picked out before we found out the gender. I still second guess our name choice, but she's been Nora since I was 15 weeks pregnant
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  #3199  
Old 08-28-2014, 05:40 PM
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All this baby talk is getting me excited to start trying in a few years. But I have to admit I have a terrible fear of not being able to get pregnant. There is no reason behind the fear, I just have that fear.
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  #3200  
Old 08-28-2014, 05:43 PM
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Originally Posted by HayleyMarie View Post
All this baby talk is getting me excited to start trying in a few years. But I have to admit I have a terrible fear of not being able to get pregnant. There is no reason behind the fear, I just have that fear.
On average it takes about 6 months from what I have heard. DH is convinced that we won't have any trouble and should be prepared for it to work on the first try, but yea, there's def that little bit of worry in my mind about not being able to conceive that easily, hence my push for starting things at 30, "just in case".
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