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Old 07-12-2013, 10:05 PM
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Airn Airn is offline
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Default What Would You Do?

So... I have a bit of dilemma and I have no idea what to do.

My boyfriend and I broke up. We decided to be roommates, more for financial reasons than "Oh yeah, living with an ex will be so fun!" I feel like if I continue to live with him I might kill him. (We're getting better, but still, living with an ex is a horrible idea.)

We JUST moved into this apartment. We both like it but I decided that I would move out and find a roommate. We called the apartment office to see if I could do that. Apparently I can just sign a release form and be on my way. No penalty for me whatsoever. He has to live here for 6 months before he can get another roommate. However, if/when I sign the release form, they will evaluate him to see if he can afford the place on his own. If he can't, they kick him out.

At first I was bummed about moving out. My relationship fell apart, I'm not at a good point in my life and... everything was just a downer. But I started to think positively about it and I got excited. A new adventure!

But then I feel awful because if I do decide to move out.... he might get kicked out and have to find another place to live. I'm really not sure what he wants to/can do. I know he doesn't want to move but he's iffy about getting a stranger for a roommate. (My father has offered both of us a place to stay, so he will not be homeless. )

What would you do? What do you see as options? Any advice you have is welcome.


(Oh and I totally get Gwen. Although Jess is heartbroken I will probably not get the ferrets.)
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  #2  
Old 07-12-2013, 10:10 PM
JessLough JessLough is offline
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I don't think where I stand will be a surprise to you, but I think you should move out. In the long run, you will be happier, and that's really all I care about.
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Old 07-12-2013, 10:16 PM
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CaliTerp07 CaliTerp07 is offline
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You can't stay put. It's unhealthy and a bad idea for all involved. The rest is his decision. If he wants to try to find the money to live alone, great, that's his deal. If he wants to find a roommate, okay--his choice. If he wants to move to Timbuktu tomorrow, wish him well and start the new chapter of your life.

Really, he's a big boy capable of making his own decisions. I'd sit down with him and tell him that you are moving out, are planning to be out by xx/xx/xx, and just want him to be aware of what's going on.

Whatever he chooses at that point is his decision.
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Old 07-12-2013, 10:24 PM
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I'd move out. He won't be homeless, he can figure something else out. You need to put your own mental health first.
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Old 07-12-2013, 10:31 PM
ruffiangirl ruffiangirl is offline
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Really I agree with everyone else, I left my sons father and was really worried about what he would do...he just manned up, got a place and went on with his life.
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Old 07-12-2013, 10:41 PM
Brattina88 Brattina88 is offline
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I vote... a new adventure!
Honestly, I think you should focus on you right now, and do what's best for you! You said things are getting better right now... but how long are you willing to stick it out? Because you feel bad for him... How bad is it going to get if one of you meet someone and want to hang out with them or bring them home to hang out. Weird/awkward, right?

(((hugs)))) I'm in a weird housing situation with my brother right now... so I really sympathize with you, choices like these are never fun.
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Old 07-12-2013, 11:01 PM
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Laurelin Laurelin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
You can't stay put. It's unhealthy and a bad idea for all involved. The rest is his decision. If he wants to try to find the money to live alone, great, that's his deal. If he wants to find a roommate, okay--his choice. If he wants to move to Timbuktu tomorrow, wish him well and start the new chapter of your life.

Really, he's a big boy capable of making his own decisions. I'd sit down with him and tell him that you are moving out, are planning to be out by xx/xx/xx, and just want him to be aware of what's going on.

Whatever he chooses at that point is his decision.
Yep exactly.
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Old 07-13-2013, 09:35 AM
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Pits&Pugs Pits&Pugs is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
You can't stay put. It's unhealthy and a bad idea for all involved. The rest is his decision. If he wants to try to find the money to live alone, great, that's his deal. If he wants to find a roommate, okay--his choice. If he wants to move to Timbuktu tomorrow, wish him well and start the new chapter of your life.

Really, he's a big boy capable of making his own decisions. I'd sit down with him and tell him that you are moving out, are planning to be out by xx/xx/xx, and just want him to be aware of what's going on.

Whatever he chooses at that point is his decision.
100% agree ...you need to do what is best for you now...you can't move on and heal if you are still living together
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Old 07-14-2013, 11:03 AM
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Airn Airn is offline
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Thanks guys. We talked and I'm still not sure what he's doing. I told him I plan on moving next month. He needs to figure something out by then. I think now he wants me to pay the fee to break the lease. I can understand that since he'll need rent plus a deposit for another place... however that's not really my fault. Maybe we'll split the cost? I think he's really just pissed that I can just sign a form and be done with it. Maybe he should have decided to move out then.

Anyway he's hesitant about a roommate but has no solutions. I told him I will help him if he wants but that he's not really my problem anymore. He also refuses to ask his family for help. I can respect that but I don't want to pay a bunch of fees and feel guilty because of his pride.

But it's happening. I'm freaking out. Excited and terrified and sad all at the same time. But I'm ready. Doing whats easy isn't always what's best, right?

Again thanks for the advice
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