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Old 06-20-2013, 10:16 PM
Adjecyca1 Adjecyca1 is offline
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Default I am not ready to take this on

My family member is separating from her husband, she has no job, no money and a kid, and she wants me to house her until she can get a job and get back on her feet, i do not mind helping, but i am not really ready for this situation. I am young and have not been on my own for very long, i only have enough money to take care of me, my boyfriend, and my pets. I do not however have the money to take care of two more people... Plus she wants me to let her dog come..

I CAN'T let this dog in my house, i just can't she keeps begging me, and crying to me to let her bring this dog, but i don't even think this dog should be alive. i would need to buy a crate for the dog not a regular crate but a real heavy duty one because he destroys EVERYTHING and has ripped apart crates before too. He chews everything and has absolutely NO respect or manners. He is also very iffy temperament wise he bit my niece who was 7 at the time and left a BIG bruise, a little bigger than a baseball. I stopped going to their house because when the dog decided to rip apart my jacket i said NO to him, and this dog looked me dead in the eye and let out the deepest growl, hackles up and everything. I do NOT like this dog and don't want this liability in my home.
She keeps saying "well he can be an outside dog" i don't want the dog on my property, i don't want to dance around the dog in my backyard with my dogs.

She keeps crying to me and i know the dog loves HER and she loves it to death but still, my little neices LOVE to come over they love to see all my pets and i don't want to risk them just sneaking to see the other dog at night or something, i don't know how much they would listen/understand...She's trying to guilt trip me saying that her husband will just put him down now, and she keeps making me feel really bad and pressuring me but i just can't.
He's a BIG dog too, he's a GSD, and was really sweet when they first got him, but IDK what happened
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Old 06-20-2013, 10:27 PM
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AdrianneIsabel AdrianneIsabel is offline
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you really shouldn't allow a dog in your home that makes you uncomfortable. Maybe help her find a foster home?
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Old 06-21-2013, 08:29 AM
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Cardiparty Cardiparty is offline
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IMHO- saying no once should be enough. It really bugs me when people don't respect other peoples' boundaries.

If it were me, I'd be like, "I'm sorry, ______. You know I love you and that I have no problem with you staying for a s long as you need to get on your feet. But, I'm just not willing to let your dog stay here. We've discussed the "whys" before, so you know where I'm coming from. With that being said, just let me know what you want to do."

And leave it at that.

I absolutely would not let a dog like that in my house if I was not prepared to assume all responsibility for it.
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Old 06-21-2013, 09:24 AM
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MicksMom MicksMom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cardiparty View Post
IMHO- saying no once should be enough. It really bugs me when people don't respect other peoples' boundaries.

If it were me, I'd be like, "I'm sorry, ______. You know I love you and that I have no problem with you staying for a s long as you need to get on your feet. But, I'm just not willing to let your dog stay here. We've discussed the "whys" before, so you know where I'm coming from. With that being said, just let me know what you want to do."

And leave it at that.

I absolutely would not let a dog like that in my house if I was not prepared to assume all responsibility for it.
Absolutely! It's your home, and it's up to you who stays or doesn't. I had the same comcerns about our son and DIL's dog, which is why they lived with her parents instead of us when they first got married.

Also, I wouldn't be open to taking on the financial responsiblilty for her and her child, either. Offering them a place to stay is fine, but paying for them is a whole other can of worms. It'd be one thing if you were "rolling in money", so to say. But, you said you don't have the money to take on two more people. Personally, I think it's pretty selfish of her to expect you to take on them, money wise, as well.
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Old 06-21-2013, 11:24 AM
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Shakou Shakou is offline
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Straight up tell her the truth. It will save both you and her a lot of stress, even it initially makes things harder for her in the short term. There is nothing worse then being stuck in a place where you and your family (including the dog) isn't really wanted. Tell her no, you'd be doing both of you a favor.
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Old 06-21-2013, 11:42 AM
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sassafras sassafras is offline
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Ugh, it's a terrible feeling to want to help but you're just not in a position to do what the other person expects you to. Just keep telling yourself, it's ok to have limits and say so/say no! You have a right to feel safe (and feel your own pets are safe) in your own home, no matter how badly you would like to help. Don't feel obligated because of the guilt trip/emotional blackmail - you are not responsible for whatever decision THEY make.

Having said all of that... are there any resources in your area for sheltering dogs in this situation? In some cities ACs or private shelters have a network of foster homes or boarding kennels that will temporarily shelter pets for people in need due to stuff like foreclosures, divorce, domestic abuse, etc.
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Old 06-21-2013, 11:42 AM
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Mach1girl Mach1girl is offline
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I don't blame you. You just never know. And, if anything were to happen you would feel horrible. I would apologize and just say no. To either one of them. Because even if she finds someone else to care for her dog, yet she has moved in with you, if the other provider changes mind for whatever reason, the dog will HAVE to come to your house.!!!! Not worth it. Not worth the hassle. Not worth the worries.
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