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Old 01-02-2006, 08:51 PM
lucille lucille is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2005
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Default Gently, gently.....

This actually happened today at word. I was yakking with a woman that I genuinely like and care for. She is intelligent, caring, funny.

The subject got around to dogs, and I told her about the new pup. She told me she had a GSD also. She asked about the gender, and I told her that Jake is a male and will probably get neutered around spring break
She said that was too bad, that she had a male also because otherwise we could have made a litter right before the appropriate surgery.

She is caring and a nice person. I think some people who are not in the 'dog world' don't realize what a responsibility it is to have a litter. I didn't, years ago, myself.

We have similar people that come to the board here and do not have those realizations.
It might be good to think out a game plan ahead of time so that when this happens, a thoughtful and non intimidating answer can be forthcoming.

I had to run off and do something, but I am going to broach this subject again and want to do it the right way, educating while at the same time retaining this budding friendship.

Saying something that will cause an argument would be like slamming the door, it will do no good for either the people or the dogs involved.

So can anyone help me out, how would you go about gently introducing your own thoughts and feelings about this subject so that people, both my friend and people here, leave with new ideas that they might use, but leave feeling appreciated also?
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Old 01-02-2006, 09:11 PM
Fran27 Fran27 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 10,637

Very good question, and I wish I knew the answer, lol. In this case I think it would be better just to say nothing, as it was just a random comment and she probably won't breed her dog anyway hopefully.

Honestly I've never met any person who really wanted to breed their dogs that changed their mind. Most get upset when you try to explain to them that it's not a good idea, no matter how you say it.

But my best guess would be to ask them why they want to breed first, then tell them that it's a lot of work to get a litter, that it costs money and that the female can die from it. I guess to scare them off. If it doesn't work, maybe explain to them that lots of dogs suffer from serious health problems because the parents are never tested before being bred, and that breeding dogs without making sure they have no genetic problem first can make puppies with lots of problems.
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Old 01-03-2006, 12:19 PM
Mindy Miller Mindy Miller is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 880

I've been in the same situation a few times recently. It's hard to come up with something good to say without putting them off or sounding like know it all. You could say something like, "I thought about breeding, but did some research and you wouldn't believe how expensive it is and how much work it takes." See if she asks more questions and go from there.

The other situation I've encountered a lot lately is people wanting to buy dogs. I live in Missouri, the puppy mill capital of the world. When this happens, I will usually say something like Missouri has lots of puppy mills and then I tell them what they are. I say, "You can tell by looking at Cassie that the people who bred her did not care about the breed." (my dog has a TERRIBLE underbite and I'm worried that it will cause more problems later on) Then I suggest animal shelters. I may come off a little pushy on this topic to them, but I really don't care. People need to know.

I never knew the extent to which puppy mills and bad breeders ruin dogs until I found this site. I found it too late, after we had purchased one of these puppy mill dogs from a broker. More people need to know sooner so these things don't happen. As far as breeding goes, I think some people will breed their dog for fun not really knowing the consequences. Education is key!
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Old 01-03-2006, 12:31 PM
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showpug showpug is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Oregon
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Mindy, you have a very good point and it is indeed very true. I think to bring the subject up again would be awkward and out of place unless she brings it up again. In these types of situations, I usually make comments like "oh no, I could never take on that kind of responsibilty!" or "I would be too concerned for my dog's health to put her at that kind of risk" or "I don't have the money to breed a litter!" I have found that when you make these comments as part of your response in a nice way, people start asking questions. They wonder what you mean and it starts a conversation where you can help educate without seeming judgemental, over opinionated or "better" than the other person. It used to work well for me when I worked at the vet clinic and I would have my dog with me behind the front counter. Clients would ask me all the time if I was going to breed her and I would chime in with the above responses and they always looked suprised and would ask questions etc.
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Old 01-03-2006, 04:02 PM
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RD RD is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ohio
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If she wants to breed her dog, I'd just make little suggestions to her as far as how she could go about it responsibly. Not all at once nor very forcefully, but suggest it nonetheless. I don't know many people who were offended by a gentle suggestion, and sometimes they do take them to heart.

I know what its like to be in a situation like that, my best friend has Chihuahuas that she wants to breed and because I do value our friendship, I have to be gentle with the way I approach her regarding her decisions.
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Old 01-03-2006, 06:06 PM
filarotten filarotten is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Texas
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Everyone seems to want a clone of their dog. Maybe you could jokingly make the comment cloning would be so much easier for the female. No pain, or possible c section. But, I personally wouldn't bring it up again until the subject comes up. Such a touchy subject for so many people. I tried to talk to hubbys aunt, and cousin. They both have white boxer males. No matter how tactful I tried to wasn't taken well.
Be the change you wish to see in the world... Gandhi
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